"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Shy Girl and Back-to-Chump Ways

S

Schwank

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I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. Everything is okay, except I find myself regressing into my chump ways. Normally it's much easier to be "alpha" around more assertive girls; but this girl is soft-spoken, doesn't cuss, doesn't bad-mouth other people, doesn't drink or smoke, and so forth. Hence I tend to be overly polite, excessively apologetic and very careful with my choice words when talking to her (in fear of offending the girl). Does it pay to behave like this around these types of girls? Or do girls such as this like getting their chops busted and being teased?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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K

Kirro

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Schwank said:
I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. Everything is okay, except I find myself regressing into my chump ways. Normally it's much easier to be "alpha" around more assertive girls; but this girl is soft-spoken, doesn't cuss, doesn't bad-mouth other people, doesn't drink or smoke, and so forth. Hence I tend to be overly polite, excessively apologetic and very careful with my choice words when talking to her (in fear of offending the girl). Does it pay to behave like this around these types of girls? Or do girls such as this like getting their chops busted and being teased?
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You should still be alpha with this chick, be assertive, lead the interactions etc. She's shy so it'll be easier. Do NOT be afraid to offend her, I'd just say try to tone it down a little. Don't change completely just ease off the gas a bit if you know what I'm saying.

Trust me, shy or not she'll still think you're a chump if you start going all wimpy.
 
A

AmIAFC

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I can tell you from experience that you never put your guard down with a shy girl. Shy females are more hypersensitive and in need of assertive males, especially if they know they're shy, to compensate/offset their passive nature. When your tub is filled with cold water, you don't dump warm water to make it more tolerable; you pour in hot water to create the ideal temperature.

My old shy chic dumped me a few years ago. Prior to us parting, she was slowly asserting herself and taking charge, so I guess she felt she was wearing the proverbial pants in the relationship and got tired of it.
 
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