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isonlaxman

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Or as Todd V says, to let the girl know I have a penis. I'm failing at doing this quite a lot. I've nailed the social part, after being severly introverted all my life, I can now talk to anyone. But now I'm trying to up my game. I can kino escalate well if things are going well verbally, but it's reaching this point that is the difficult part. I feel like something about me just gives off a friends vibe. Here are a few examples:

1. Talked to a girl in my class, seemed like we were hitting it off well. I held eye contact, was doing light touches on the arm etc. Went to get food right after classs and hang, but then she just casually drops 'I really like this friendship already'. Maybe it was just a **** test, but I had no idea how to respond there. Some of my friends told me too that I'm just overly friendly with everyone and girls could get that vibe from me too. But now how do I flip the switch and become more flirty?

2. Met a girl at a bar, instant attraction, made out, couldn't take her home because she had to take care of her drunk (female) roommate, which I get. So I got her number and we parted ways. Next time we meet it was going well again, but when I tried to kiss her she jerked away and said she just wanted to be friends. ??? I mean I get that I did not pull the trigger the previous time but I was concerned for her roommate as well, but why make out with me and then be very flirty during the second meeting when you just wanna be friends? UGH.

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I think my main concern is around my verbal game. Either on text or IRL, I just am not very smooth and flirtacious. How do I learn this skill? Any help appreciated.
 

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MrWood

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but then she just casually drops 'I really like this friendship already'. Maybe it was just a **** test,
sh1t test. You need to let her know you you are not just wanting "friends".
You need to make some remark that lets her know this, something like:
"your pretty cute, but I dont know about friends, yet [grin], I certainly wouldnt want to date you" (get her hamster spinning)

I tried to kiss her she jerked away and said she just wanted to be friends. ???
kissing out in public, or just kissing is often seen as a "boyfriend" thing. Viable only when isolated.
 

isonlaxman

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"your pretty cute, but I dont know about friends, yet [grin], I certainly wouldnt want to date you" (get her hamster spinning)
This is genius haha. Need to get more experience before I can come up with things like that on the spot. And the kissing thing makes sense yes, I will go for isolating the girl from now
 

Serenity

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It can be a bit tricky to explain, but @MrWood provided a good example of the type of remarks you'll have to make. It clearly signals your intent without being crude.

Back when I was breaking out of my shell I learned this quickly. One of the first few dates after going out there to try told me I was like a priest and would rather just be friends. I responded by straight up telling her I have no interest in that and would rather walk away, to my surprise she was blowing up my phone within 24 hours after that. This one I even had sex with before she tried to LJBF me.

I like to lightly tease and make heavy use of sexual innuendos. I didn't use to be particularly good at that, but since I started trying it out I found it too funny to stop. When you're in a natural conversation say something that could be interpreted sexually, just grin and look at her in anticipation of her getting it. I don't go out of my way to do it though, I just put it in there when I see an opportunity, if you know what I mean ;)

Trying to not come off as too nice and innocent may often lead to overcompensating to the point where they genuinely think you're being rude. I think this is the most common fear in guys who have the issue you're having, at least it was for me. If you're going to lose them anyways to being too nice, then you can afford the risk of coming off as rude. If anything for the sake of trying to adjust yourself into that fine line in between, where you're kinda mean but not really.

This doesn't just apply to women, I act like that around friends and some co-workers too (except I don't direct any sexual innuendo directly at them). I'll tease them way harder than I would a woman I just met, but since I know them well and they know me it's fine. They know my insults are light-hearted. I know how far I can go, because I've gone to the edge and respected the "warning shots".

You probably won't get it right on the first tries, I sure offended some women by going too far. But if you don't try pushing the boundaries you won't know where the line is. Most well socialized guys went through this as kids, being little jerks until they found their balance and confidently knew where to really draw the lines. Lesser socialized guys have to go through this phase as adults which is obviously a lot more awkward, but if you find a way around it then please tell me.

If a woman teases you then definitely do tease her back, it's basically an invitation.
 

MrWood

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If a woman teases you then definitely do tease her back, it's basically an invitation.
if she says something smart~alek I like to go straight for a tickle or poke her in her side.

Some of my friends told me too that I'm just overly friendly with everyone and girls could get that vibe from me too. But now how do I flip the switch and become more flirty?

2. Met a girl at a bar, instant attraction, made out
this is inconsistent and I'm not really believing this #2 story.


just be yourself. SoSuave can help you identify WOMEN'S BEHAVIOR and how you might respond to the messages she is sending. Men and women speak a completely different language... learn what to listen for.

best rule for sh1t tests is to ask yourself, how would a father respond to this behavior (for anything other thand sexual of course)... then act in that way. Believe that YOU are a MOUNTAIN and women are butterflies and kittys that have no impact because you are BIG and UNAFFECTED by them... they cant hurt your rock.
 
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Serenity

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this is inconsistent and I'm not really believing this #2 story.
Take a look at the story I wrote in my previous reply. I can absolutely believe this to have happened to him, sh!t like that has happened multiple times to me. She goes along in the moment, riding some fleeting wave of emotion, then she has a think about it later when in a completely different state of mind where she sees the flaws she overlooked in the moment.

More than once have I fvcked a woman and then she just wanted to be friends because I was otherwise "too nice". A girlfriend dumped me because I was "too nice", that was literally her only reason.

What he says isn't inconsistent, this is what happens when you're too nice. Some women just go further before they figure it out and change their mind. Kinda like men may go pretty far with a chick before they realize the mistake they made while others see it right away and never go anywhere with her.
 

Prettyboy Dee

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Ok you need to change the way your interacting with women, I dont know how often your getting put in the friendzone but if this is a regular thing then its because of how you are projecting yourself.....

For women to be sexually attracted to you then you cant act all nice and teddy bearish, you have to have a flirty vibe, dont worry about kino ect that doesnt matter as I've pulled without laying a finger on her until I have her isolated. Just flirt.

It has nothing to do with game or eye contact or saying the right thing, that's where most guys get confused, it's all about how you carry yourself, your sex appeal, your swagger which is something we can't teach you, you just need confidence and need to carry yourself like someone who gets laid....

OP do me a favor, go to Google and type in swagger and read the definition, guys who carry themselves like that are the ones who get laid, read the definition and ask yourself does it describe you.
 

Amante Silvestre

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You’ll often hear women complaining about men being men: the typical sex fiend, etc. But despite the complaints many secretly smirk and love that “typical” piggish mind.

So you’re better off just owning it sometimes.

I had a woman state that she wanted to be friends first. My joking response was: “Oh. I was thinking more along the lines of tying you to the bedposts tonight and spanking you. Girl we have to get on the same page”

Here eyes went wide open and the jaw dropped as if surprised, and then a big smile came with it. Slapped my chest. Said I was naughty.

Changed the whole dynamic after that.

Don’t be afraid to own it.

Once you have that kind of dynamic goin, then you can transition into physical escalation with much more ease.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Or as Todd V says, to let the girl know I have a penis. I'm failing at doing this quite a lot. I've nailed the social part, after being severly introverted all my life, I can now talk to anyone. But now I'm trying to up my game. I can kino escalate well if things are going well verbally, but it's reaching this point that is the difficult part. I feel like something about me just gives off a friends vibe. Here are a few examples:

1. Talked to a girl in my class, seemed like we were hitting it off well. I held eye contact, was doing light touches on the arm etc. Went to get food right after classs and hang, but then she just casually drops 'I really like this friendship already'. Maybe it was just a **** test, but I had no idea how to respond there. Some of my friends told me too that I'm just overly friendly with everyone and girls could get that vibe from me too. But now how do I flip the switch and become more flirty?

2. Met a girl at a bar, instant attraction, made out, couldn't take her home because she had to take care of her drunk (female) roommate, which I get. So I got her number and we parted ways. Next time we meet it was going well again, but when I tried to kiss her she jerked away and said she just wanted to be friends. ??? I mean I get that I did not pull the trigger the previous time but I was concerned for her roommate as well, but why make out with me and then be very flirty during the second meeting when you just wanna be friends? UGH.

------------------

I think my main concern is around my verbal game. Either on text or IRL, I just am not very smooth and flirtacious. How do I learn this skill? Any help appreciated.
Any excuse for not pulling is low interest.

If Drake or Dicaprio we're around she would have no excuses for D in her throat.

Premise = seed the pull!


How do you acquire any skill? Reps. Less word play. More sword play with ABUNDANCE OF BAAAAES.

SPAM VOLUME. CALIBRATE. ITS PULL OR NEXT. BLOW ME OR BLOW ME OUT. #NEXTSET!
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
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You’ll often hear women complaining about men being men: the typical sex fiend, etc. But despite the complaints many secretly smirk and love that “typical” piggish mind.

So you’re better off just owning it sometimes.

I had a woman state that she wanted to be friends first. My joking response was: “Oh. I was thinking more along the lines of tying you to the bedposts tonight and spanking you. Girl we have to get on the same page”

Here eyes went wide open and the jaw dropped as if surprised, and then a big smile came with it. Slapped my chest. Said I was naughty.

Changed the whole dynamic after that.

Don’t be afraid to own it.

Once you have that kind of dynamic goin, then you can transition into physical escalation with much more ease.
+1

There's a old Jlaix vblog on taking it out

In today's era of false allegations, You must exercise common sense.

I seed sexuality and I instruct promiscuity. Its I lead. She follows or next set. There's no ambiguity. There's nothing to negotiate sex with. Its not a democracy nor a transaction.

SmashSmash or next. Pull. Repeat.
 
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