So here's the deal. I was at work today and one of the guys I work with told me that he and a few other co-workers (mostly girls) went out last night and they wanted to call me but no one had my number (one of the girls it, but maybe no one asked her). Later on he walks by and says one girl in particular was asking to invite me (Jess). I didn't think much of it since she's friendly. Right before I left he passes by me again and under his breath says that Jess broke up with her bf so he thinks that's why she was asking about me. I'm not sure to trust this info because he does like to mess with ppl. Would you guys trust info like this coming from a random co-worker?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Should you trust other guys when they insinuate that some girl is interested in you?
- Thread starter Scion
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Take it with a grain of salt and a mountain of caution. I'm speaking from experience.
Usually when some random guy or acquaintance is trying to hook you up with a chic or, at least, tries to steer you into the direction of a girl, it's either because he thinks you're going to fail or he's trying to c-block you by subtly illustrating to the female that you lack the masculinity to confront her without his help, thus making you the beta male of the two.
Approach this chic naturally, without giving her any indication that you're doing so at this other guy's urging or behest.
Usually when some random guy or acquaintance is trying to hook you up with a chic or, at least, tries to steer you into the direction of a girl, it's either because he thinks you're going to fail or he's trying to c-block you by subtly illustrating to the female that you lack the masculinity to confront her without his help, thus making you the beta male of the two.
Approach this chic naturally, without giving her any indication that you're doing so at this other guy's urging or behest.
Come on man, thiz iz such stewpid question. Why you dont just talk to this girl and you will know a truth. . . HEY! Why you want approval from these stepid americans anyway for reason that nobody cares if you have to ask you dont deserve answer cuz its soooostewpid, but HEY! I am me. 
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2005
- Messages
- 4,438
- Reaction score
- 1,142
Read my sig and apply it.
If you want to go for a girl, grab your goddamn balls and just do it like Nike! Take the damn initiative. That's my ruling.
Case closed. Court is adjourned.
If you want to go for a girl, grab your goddamn balls and just do it like Nike! Take the damn initiative. That's my ruling.
Case closed. Court is adjourned.
Thanks for answering the question AmIAFC. To the others, I may still go for her, I just want to be cautious because this seems out of character for this guy. Unfortunately I don't work with this girl much, I doubt I'll even see her this week. So I was thinking of looking her up on facebook and shooting her a msg like "here's my number for next time you want to party with me".
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
whenever people tell me i usually trust them, and i consider this one of the HUGEST IOI's ever because it will turn out that the girl will be less resistant and will even try to f-close you... just speaking from past experiences. but when people are hinting to aspire to it, then it's a no go. . it's just something they want to see happen and it's actually kind of demeaning because it's not real it's a way to convey value for themselves.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
"by their fruits you will know them" You said he likes to mess with people,then you want to know if you should trust him? See if the GIRL is more friendly than she used to be.
sorry, don't understand what you meant by this.xdreamz said:
sodbuster: yeah, I think I'll see if she starts acting different around me. I haven't noticed anything yet, but I don't get to hang around her much. She does go out partying with ppl from work but I'm not usually invited (or ever invited).
cablecow15
Master Don Juan
Is he in a relationship ? Ive had a few friends that when their taken, they will push all the girls they run into on to another of their friends. Sometimes its because the girl has some weird issue that makes it halarious to watch a friend interact with them.
beats me if he has a girl. I don't know the guy really well. I know he does stuff with girls, just don't know if he's in a relationship. But he's the type of guy that will go after every girl in sight, so not sure why he's not going for her. Anyway, it was just a passing comment, like "you know she broke up with her bf, so maybe that's why she was asking about you last night".cablecow15 said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Messages
- 4,392
- Reaction score
- 927
lay low, then strike (the girl) when all is forgotten...let no indication that you even notice the girl
#41
Senior Don Juan
The part about Pokemon? Because honestly, I'd take any advice couched in the form of an analogy to japanimation with a huge grain of salt.nismo-4 said:
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2005
- Messages
- 4,438
- Reaction score
- 1,142
Most advice on this damn forum can be taken with a grain of salt. Look at life your way. Whatever works for you.#41 said:
Do you take everything people tell you so seriously?
How the hell are we suposed to know if the guy was serious or not. The questions you should be asking should be concerned with how to get the girl. like nismo said, grow some balls and go after her. It doesn't matter what your coworker said
How the hell are we suposed to know if the guy was serious or not. The questions you should be asking should be concerned with how to get the girl. like nismo said, grow some balls and go after her. It doesn't matter what your coworker said
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
todays_news
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2010
- Messages
- 152
- Reaction score
- 4
How well do you know Jess? Have you spoken to her before?
Surely if you speak to her, subtly game her then it will become obvious quite quickly.
However...
In addition...
Surely if you speak to her, subtly game her then it will become obvious quite quickly.
However...
Dont get burned.
In addition...
I'd certainly be trusting my gut, and not the guy talking to me particularly becuase of what is underlined above. But hey, the worst thing that can happen is that you test the water, and it doesnt happen.
iliketennis
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 300
- Reaction score
- 8
maybe you should get to know your co-workers better
NO MA'AM
Don Juan
Scion,
If you are interested in this particular girl, and not just because she may be interested in you, especially based on the comments of another person, try to ascertain her relationship status and if she is not in a relationship, approach her on your own terms and at your convenience.
Years ago in high school, in my AFC days, I was interested in a girl and sought out a former male friend to determine her status. He told me two days later she was seeing someone, but knew a single girl I should get to know. He introduced me to this girl who wore purple lipstick, had jet black hair, and a humped back. This was the 1990s and her makeup was straight 1950s. That girl kept obsessively pursuing me the rest of the school year.
The moral of this story: Only trust males whose intentions you truly understand.
If you are interested in this particular girl, and not just because she may be interested in you, especially based on the comments of another person, try to ascertain her relationship status and if she is not in a relationship, approach her on your own terms and at your convenience.
Years ago in high school, in my AFC days, I was interested in a girl and sought out a former male friend to determine her status. He told me two days later she was seeing someone, but knew a single girl I should get to know. He introduced me to this girl who wore purple lipstick, had jet black hair, and a humped back. This was the 1990s and her makeup was straight 1950s. That girl kept obsessively pursuing me the rest of the school year.
The moral of this story: Only trust males whose intentions you truly understand.
turns out she is single now. I wouldn't say that I'm really into her. I do find her attractive and I do flirt with her, but the only reason I'd really make a move on her is for practice and the fact that I don't have any other options (so I'd like to create some). She's not LTR material (not gonna get into why, it just wouldn't work out). But only problem I see is that I never work with her (maybe once every 2 weeks). She does go out partying with ppl from work, however they never invite me (unless I find out about it and just tag along).NO MA'AM said:
Sometimes you should trust guys who tell you a girl is interested in you. I've met a few girls, whom I ended up sleeping with, because I heard they thought I was cute. I was actually friends with the guys who told me, though.
I only remember ever telling one other guy that a girl was into him, and he reacted strangely: "Don't tell me that..." At the time, I thought he just wasn't into her, but maybe he didn't actually believe me.
Regardless, if you care about your work reputation at all, don't do anything!! If you don't, just ask her out... Actually, the confidence from knowing a girl is into you really helps you game her, so I think you should go to the guy who told you. Just talk about it some more with him, until you get a feel for whether he's messing with you or trying to hook you up.
Even if she's into you, play it safe, since it's the workplace.
I only remember ever telling one other guy that a girl was into him, and he reacted strangely: "Don't tell me that..." At the time, I thought he just wasn't into her, but maybe he didn't actually believe me.
Regardless, if you care about your work reputation at all, don't do anything!! If you don't, just ask her out... Actually, the confidence from knowing a girl is into you really helps you game her, so I think you should go to the guy who told you. Just talk about it some more with him, until you get a feel for whether he's messing with you or trying to hook you up.
Even if she's into you, play it safe, since it's the workplace.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.