Should you tell the oblivious AFC?

[Nordic_identity]

Been having sex with my ex while she is on the rocks with her rebound bf. She only dated him for 13 days before she hit me up after I kept not responding to her texts. She tried to play the whole "he knows we're not together anymore so I'm not cheating on him" bit.

But little does she know, him and I share a mutual friend and he's convinced they're still together but just hit an early relationship rough patch recently. She still goes over to his apartment and according to our mutual friend is trying to negotiate her desire by doing the typical AFC things (ie buying her gifts, food, and giving her a bed to sleep in but she denies him sex).

I am just in it for the booty calls at this point and the rough post-break up sex. But she is convinced that I am gonna "take her back" but I know she's just being a hoe and trying to play both him and I.

Should I do this guy a favor and get the mutual to show the texts she sends me begging me to come over and ****? Or do I just keep using her for sex and let this guy figure it out for himself?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Been having sex with my ex while she is on the rocks with her rebound bf. She only dated him for 13 days before she hit me up after I kept not responding to her texts. She tried to play the whole "he knows we're not together anymore so I'm not cheating on him" bit.

But little does she know, him and I share a mutual friend and he's convinced they're still together but just hit an early relationship rough patch recently. She still goes over to his apartment and according to our mutual friend is trying to negotiate her desire by doing the typical AFC things (ie buying her gifts, food, and giving her a bed to sleep in but she denies him sex).

I am just in it for the booty calls at this point and the rough post-break up sex. But she is convinced that I am gonna "take her back" but I know she's just being a hoe and trying to play both him and I.

Should I do this guy a favor and get the mutual to show the texts she sends me begging me to come over and ****? Or do I just keep using her for sex and let this guy figure it out for himself?

Might as well

 

[jimwho]

I find it hard to get turned on or go downtown when I know another guy is cropdusting the field.

 

[Igetit!]

Should I do this guy a favor and get the mutual to show the texts she sends me begging me to come over and ****? Or do I just keep using her for sex and let this guy figure it out for himself?

I say leave him alone.

If you weren't sleeping with her yourself,I might say to go have a talk with him. But because you're sleeping with her, he'll likely think you're up to some kind of ploy to get him out of the way so you can have her for yourself.

Not to mention he appears to be some kind of chump "in love" with the girl. If all of the nonsense she's been throwing at him hasn't deterred him and made him go away, I doubt that you trying to show him evidence of her wrongdoing will also make him leave.

Most of the time, when a third-party outside of a relationship interferes into someone else's relationship trying to help them and telling them about the wrong that the person's partner is doing, what generally happens is they turn on the person trying to help them. And even if I were to advise someone to try to talk to the guy to help him, it wouldn't be you. You're sleeping with the girl who he considers to be his girlfriend and who he thinks he's in a relationship with.

Why would he listen to or take advice from the guy who sleeping with the girl who's denying him sex?

I say leave him alone.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I say leave him alone.

If you weren't sleeping with her yourself,I might say to go have a talk with him. But because you're sleeping with her, he'll likely think you're up to some kind of ploy to get him out of the way so you can have her for yourself.

Not to mention he appears to be some kind of chump "in love" with the girl. If all of the nonsense she's been throwing at him hasn't deterred him and made him go away, I doubt that you trying to show him evidence of her wrongdoing will also make him leave.

Most of the time, when a third-party outside of a relationship interferes into someone else's relationship trying to help them and telling them about the wrong that the person's partner is doing, what generally happens is they turn on the person trying to help them. And even if I were to advise someone to try to talk to the guy to help him, it wouldn't be you. You're sleeping with the girl who he considers to be his girlfriend and who he thinks he's in a relationship with.

Why would he listen to or take advice from the guy who sleeping with the girl who's denying him sex?

I say leave him alone.

He knows she's being a hoe he doesn't care to have her for himself. He was curious if he should help the other dude out. Since he doesn't care.

 

[Romanemp22]

Be aware of herpes or any other std with this one. It wouldn't surprise me she's fvcking at least one more guy besides you, not her beta boyfriend.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

No...it is his job to figure this stuff out on his own. You don't want him to potentially try and start issues with you either to try and "win her back"

 

[Black Widow Void]

When you've exhausted all you want from your ex... have her meet you somewhere for a drink.
Then arrange it so the 'other guy' arrives about five minutes later (he'll be in on your game and will walk up to you two).
Hand him $10.00 and say thanks. Then give her $5.00 and tell her that's her tip.
Then you and the other guy leave without talking to her.

 

[Spaz]

If it was me and I just found out abt this whole thingy through a mutual friend, I'd tell the mutual friend what she's been up to and then let him decide how he does abt telling his other friend.

Then to uncomplicate things further, I'd just dismiss her and move on to the next, there's so much hungry women around....99.99% of females age 18 and above are horny.

 

[derby1]

Should I do this guy a favor

NO he will blame YOU and pander to her even MORE

 

[Igetit!]

He knows she's being a hoe he doesn't care to have her for himself. He was curious if he should help the other dude out. Since he doesn't care.

I know. I was saying that the guy who the OP's thinking about helping out....that HE........that HE doesn't know the girl is being a hoe...and that HE is the one who wants her to himself.

And if (or rather when) he becomes aware that the very same guy who's trying to "help him" by warning him about his girl is sleeping with her himself,well.......that could be a problem. A BIG ONE. Not to mention the OP has no plans to stop sleeping with the girl himself.

So what's the plan here........for the OP to go warn this guy that his girl is a hoe,he takes heed to the advice,moves on,while the OP himself continues to bang her? Teh,ok......let's see how that works out.

How does he plan to tell dude his girl is a backstabber,when he himself was one of the ones who handed her the knife? Cause folks,contrary to popular belief,a girl CAN'T BE a "hoe" by herself. Others have to participate in the act for her to be one. Is the guy supposed to show gratitude to the OP for telling him his girl sleeps around......when he himself was one of the ones she slept with?

How does that work? Is he expecting the guy to thank him and move on,while he continues to bang her?

NO he will blame YOU and pander to her even MORE

Yeah....that's what I said. And he'll BE RIGHT.

You can't try to warn someone that their girl is a cheater when YOU'RE THE ONE they're cheating with.

I say just leave it alone.

 

[samspade]

NO he will blame YOU and pander to her even MORE

Yeah exactly. These guys will not appreciate your attempt to enlighten them.

If he finds out and confronts you, just say, "well she and I always had an free and open thing going, I'm cool with you banging her, but if you want her for yourself, that's cool, I'll move on." This will blow his mind and lower her value.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know. I was saying that the guy who the OP's thinking about helping out....that HE........that HE doesn't know the girl is being a hoe...and that HE is the one who wants her to himself.

And if (or rather when) he becomes aware that the very same guy who's trying to "help him" by warning him about his girl is sleeping with her himself,well.......that could be a problem. A BIG ONE. Not to mention the OP has no plans to stop sleeping with the girl himself.

So what's the plan here........for the OP to go warn this guy that his girl is a hoe,he takes heed to the advice,moves on,while the OP himself continues to bang her? Teh,ok......let's see how that works out.

How does he plan to tell dude his girl is a backstabber,when he himself was one of the ones who handed her the knife? Cause folks,contrary to popular belief,a girl CAN'T BE a "hoe" by herself. Others have to participate in the act for her to be one. Is the guy supposed to show gratitude to the OP for telling him his girl sleeps around......when he himself was one of the ones she slept with?

How does that work? Is he expecting the guy to thank him and move on,while he continues to bang her?



Yeah....that's what I said. And he'll BE RIGHT.

You can't try to warn someone that their girl is a cheater when YOU'RE THE ONE they're cheating with.

I say just leave it alone.

You can get the info without involving yourself. Perhaps the friend in the middle can provide the information, complete with screenshots and black out contact information. The sh0cking reality will make the guy start to search for resources such as these.

 

[bat soup]

Been having sex with my ex while she is on the rocks with her rebound bf. She only dated him for 13 days before she hit me up after I kept not responding to her texts. She tried to play the whole "he knows we're not together anymore so I'm not cheating on him" bit.

But little does she know, him and I share a mutual friend and he's convinced they're still together but just hit an early relationship rough patch recently. She still goes over to his apartment and according to our mutual friend is trying to negotiate her desire by doing the typical AFC things (ie buying her gifts, food, and giving her a bed to sleep in but she denies him sex).

I am just in it for the booty calls at this point and the rough post-break up sex. But she is convinced that I am gonna "take her back" but I know she's just being a hoe and trying to play both him and I.

Should I do this guy a favor and get the mutual to show the texts she sends me begging me to come over and ****? Or do I just keep using her for sex and let this guy figure it out for himself?

You could, but I've got a better idea: bang her from behind on top of the kitchen table

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I know. I was saying that the guy who the OP's thinking about helping out....that HE........that HE doesn't know the girl is being a hoe...and that HE is the one who wants her to himself.

And if (or rather when) he becomes aware that the very same guy who's trying to "help him" by warning him about his girl is sleeping with her himself,well.......that could be a problem. A BIG ONE. Not to mention the OP has no plans to stop sleeping with the girl himself.

So what's the plan here........for the OP to go warn this guy that his girl is a hoe,he takes heed to the advice,moves on,while the OP himself continues to bang her? Teh,ok......let's see how that works out.

How does he plan to tell dude his girl is a backstabber,when he himself was one of the ones who handed her the knife? Cause folks,contrary to popular belief,a girl CAN'T BE a "hoe" by herself. Others have to participate in the act for her to be one. Is the guy supposed to show gratitude to the OP for telling him his girl sleeps around......when he himself was one of the ones she slept with?

How does that work? Is he expecting the guy to thank him and move on,while he continues to bang her?



Yeah....that's what I said. And he'll BE RIGHT.

You can't try to warn someone that their girl is a cheater when YOU'RE THE ONE they're cheating with.

I say just leave it alone.

OP was the ex boyfriend and new dude is likely the rebound guy...

 

[death_wish. .]

its a risk, if i was a rebound guy and you broke it down i would just leave , maybe even tell the guys friend to warn him, and you stay out of it.
but i dont like to live in lies so if you told me i would be like wow really then just next her , better for me to know than not, and im in love with myself.
i say tell him but maybe you shouldn't , im 50/50 on this one, living a lie is very unhealthy and very dangerous

 

[flowtheory]

I’ve been - to a minor extent - the new guy.

Things had been going great with the girl from my position. We’d have tons of sex, dates, everything. BUT. She was still hung up on her ex. She wasn’t sleeping with him (he lived in a different country) but she would email, Skype, text. All very emotionally involved acts as the intent was to keep him tied in some way. And to be honest? it was awful. Some of the worst pain, neediness and jealousy I’ve been in, in my romantic endeavours. I felt less. Truly taken advantage of. Used. I have no clue why I stayed.. well I do.. she was hot and we had a good, fun, easy connection (we all know how difficult those are to find). And that was my justification to put myself willingly through my own hell.

But had the ex messaged me and told me everything? It would have saved me in a minor way. Buuut I don’t know if I would have learned the very hard lesson I needed to learn. And maybe that’s no ones to control.. And I don’t know if I would have stopped pursuing her. Because I would view it that the ex was just threatened by me or wanting her for himself.

Having been a shade of something similar to the other guy.. Don’t tell him. He needs to learn something through his own choices and follies.

As for you? What do you need to do? Maybe you need to just stop being with her, and take some metaphorical scissors to your connection and finally sever things. That’s huge power. To walk the road on your own, away from everything. Away from her. Which is just an idea you once had of a former life with someone you used to be immersed with. It’s the most difficult path by far. Because it’s just about you. It involves no one else. And that’s scary, hey? ..If we’re being honest.

I get you’re looking at this guy, and situation, as a way to control your own heartbreak. To maybe be a savour, or something more ominous. To maybe come out in some.. more.. together way; than you actually are. Obtain some semblance of control of personal power again. And hey.. I understand that. I understand that lesser, pettier way of operating. Breakups are brutal when you truly cared about someone — we’re broken and terribly fragile afterwards. We become absolute shells of our more hearty versions of self. I get it because I’m there right now.

My ex? She wants me back and wants to work on things. And honestly.. I want her back too more than anything; except one thing - my dignity. I know that she’s not the true path for my enlightenment. I know she crossed a sacred line in how things ended when they did.

The right thing to do, is always the most difficult thing to do. That’s what living from integrity is, and the true path to your power and freedom. Living from your wholeness is living a conscious life. And a conscious life is being in harmony with your conscience.

I would surmise that your power is stopping everything and just getting on with your life. I mean, your whole post is about having power. I think this is what will give it to you. But it’s probably not what you want.

 

[r4zorsharp]

sti

Been having sex with my ex while she is on the rocks with her rebound bf. She only dated him for 13 days before she hit me up after I kept not responding to her texts. She tried to play the whole "he knows we're not together anymore so I'm not cheating on him" bit.

But little does she know, him and I share a mutual friend and he's convinced they're still together but just hit an early relationship rough patch recently. She still goes over to his apartment and according to our mutual friend is trying to negotiate her desire by doing the typical AFC things (ie buying her gifts, food, and giving her a bed to sleep in but she denies him sex).

I am just in it for the booty calls at this point and the rough post-break up sex. But she is convinced that I am gonna "take her back" but I know she's just being a hoe and trying to play both him and I.

Should I do this guy a favor and get the mutual to show the texts she sends me begging me to come over and ****? Or do I just keep using her for sex and let this guy figure it out for himself?

Firstof all, stop acting like you don't care about this *****. You have feelings for her and you feel he's a threat.. whether you want to admit it or not.. Just stop messing with a hoe and you'll be fine next time.. Or get more hoes and stop caring if you can.

This is Women's age, and men are going to respect it or get destroyed. IF a woman is the hoe in any situation, you will always lose to her 100% of the time, unless ur a bigger, more sociable, more financially stable, more ready and able, more abundant HOE yourself!