Should we really be fighting ONEitis?

[DarkLight]

"Should we really be fighting off this ONEitis, when it takes ahold of us?"

Before you jump to your AFC flames... let me pose a few points of consideration here. Its 3:40am... and I can't help but to think of the amazing power this energy of being totally in love with one girl is. It literally sweeps over you, breaks open your heart, and transforms you into a god of the highest love.

So on that note...
What attracts more than love?
What heals more than love?
What empowers more than love?
Whats more courageous than love?
etc etc etc.

You feel me!?

I literally feel like I have grown so much in the last 2days... due to a beautiful case of this fvckin phenemona we call... ONEitis. The love that is irrationally breaking me open for this gorgeous girl... is bringing so much value, strength, beauty, healing to me. Like its literally alchemizing my energy into the man that would be able to pull such a gem.

So I can't help but to think... maybe we should be letting hearts break open and flow forth this incredible energy. (All under the context of, understanding that something might not ever come of it, but nonetheless... be real about the beauty of woman that took us so... and allow it to do its wonders).

From that healthy perspective... it seems like we're cheating ourselves to not let this amazing energy, and feelings of beauty sweep over us. I felt like fvckin Casanova all day long, cause of this sh!t. Beaming sheer sexual seductive love to every chick that walked by at starbucks, lol. Getting an incredible vibe back as well. Hit the gym later tonight... and now while falling asleep, am totally tuned into the reality of letting this energy flow through me.

I pose this to you, my fellow Juans. Isn't a man in the least... True to himself? To fight my feelings, is not in my nature. Thus... to duck and weave some beautiful heart flow, that only makes me stronger (whether I get this girl or not)... seems betraying, and foolish. I'm maintaining a totally realistic approach to all possible outcomes of this scenario... as well as relaxing into a river of beautiful power, carrying me more into my higher self of DJ energy.

I want you guys to think over some of the points I brought up... and your opinions. Seriously... some mature felt out thoughts, cause this seems all together to positive a force, to deal with as the general rule here prescribes (i.e. Duck and Weave).

Peace'

 

[JesterX]

Oneitis on this site generally means when the love is only one sided on your part and the girl doesn't wan't you. In your case it's just called love, so no we shouldn't embrace oneitis. But as for love... go ahead.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

I don't think oneitis is always bad.
ANd I don't thin it has anything to do with her liking you back.

It becomes bad when you lose sight of reality.
It becomes bad when you lose control of your behaviour and emotions.
It becomes bad when you lose focus on yourself.

And the real danger lies in the (likely) chance that she doesn't have the same oneitits towards you. This strips all of your power and if you act "wrong" will eliminate all her attraction toward you.

I don't think we should force ourselves to not experience it. But we should have enough going on in our lives and enough dedication to ourselves that it does not consume us.

And let us not forget, one of our major tools as men is our logic. In many cases, oneitis strips us of this and we begin acting on our emotions. This is detrimental to the very thing you seek.

Get oneitis. Fine. Just stay disciplined and focused on number one.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

One-itis isnt bad so long as its reciprocated, and the guy doesnt forget who is more important (himself)

If you find a girl genuinely worthy of having one-itis for, and she feels the same way, then I congratulate you

 

[squirrels]

Should we really be fighting off this ONEitis,

Only in certain circumstances.

when it takes ahold of us?"

This is one of those circumstances.

 

[DarkLight]

lol... squirrels.

No worries man... like I said, I'm lost in it... but its through my own volition of wanting to explore it. And your Tito Sig Rocks!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think Teflon said it best...

I don't think oneitis is always bad.
ANd I don't thin it has anything to do with her liking you back.

It becomes bad when you lose sight of reality.
It becomes bad when you lose control of your behaviour and emotions.
It becomes bad when you lose focus on yourself.

And the real danger lies in the (likely) chance that she doesn't have the same oneitits towards you. This strips all of your power and if you act "wrong" will eliminate all her attraction toward you.

I don't think we should force ourselves to not experience it. But we should have enough going on in our lives and enough dedication to ourselves that it does not consume us.

And let us not forget, one of our major tools as men is our logic. In many cases, oneitis strips us of this and we begin acting on our emotions. This is detrimental to the very thing you seek.

Get oneitis. Fine. Just stay disciplined and focused on number one.

Well said man.
Precisely pointed out the pitfalls of ONEitis... as well as allowed space for the possible benefits.

Cheers'

... and in this case, I guess a clarification of it being more of a "crush" than total ONEitis. Just fell into this groove 2 days ago, lol. So its not the 3yr. manic dedication of this terms typical meaning.

Anyways... thx for the responses.
Trying to spark some actual discussions of value here vs. the "she just text me 'come over', should I respond with 'hi, or hello' first?" lol

 

[WC2]

The thing is ONEitis rarely relates to love. ONEitis ends up being thoughts built up in your mind to make you believe you love someone. Men don't realize that love is something that comes over time after you've spent time with someone; not something that jumps out at you right away.

Men believe they are in love, because they imagine how great a girl would be.

It's been one too many times that I've slept with a girl, believing she is special and turns out to be a dud. Next.

 

[Raikojo17]

i dont embrace oneitis. i imbrace attraction, and the possiblity of a relationship. it helps keep me interested. if i think " oh well this is nothing big, ill see where this goes" then i lose interest. happened to me a couple times. so yeah, embrace it, dont fight the fact that u like her.

 

[Badmannaz]

dude, i totally here wat u are saying..but after having ONS for this last girl it's like my brain hasn't allowed me to feel that way about another human being ever again...Love is EXTREMELY powerful and it's the worst thing when ur the only way feeling that way about some body When a man goes through so much with a particular female he always comes out a different man...and for the next women in his life it could be good or bad determining on how his last chick was like with him..i kno i've just been talking to multiple women withought a feeling about any of em..i wish i could feel that about somebody again...but i don't want it to turn out with me getting all f#cked up and hurt..in that case i'll just stick to trying to f^ck as many *****es as my little young-ass can take before my prime is up!!

 

[SamePendo]

Well, what is love then? You've got to understand what's behind "love". . . . but I won't get into the science wagon, you know what I'm saying and where I'm going.

I wouldn't say to fight or embrace oneitis. But rather, to embrace life and do whatever you feel like doing, because tomorrow will be even better than today.

 

[Rata Blanca]

The problem is that we confuse the initial atraction with love.
And here in this forum we call that confusion "one-itis"

 

[blueguy]

Yes, because when you have oneitis, you value the other person more than you do yourself.

 

[BigOlePappy]

When I get oneitis with one girl I try to get oneitis with a different girl to cure it. Kinda like how Major Payne would break your fingers so make you forget about the pain of your bullet wounds.

 

[Babnik]

If you really like someone, and value, but not above YOU then it is ONE ITIS?

Like, if you screwed up with a girl you really wanted, but that doesn't change what you do and how you do it.

It DOES however make you think about it and feel a little down for a WHILE. Maybe for a week until it fades goes away.

Is it really that bad?

Also..what if she really IS different? Different because what she listens to, how she dresses, how she looks, how she talks, where she is from, and such. Still one-itis to value her over that horde of same girls?


I do not think its possible to make yourself 100% happy and not think of her. Its different from letting it control your life though.

 

[Kev07]

Yeahhh i have oneitis right now T_T, and not the good kind i might add

 

[Demon]

I agree with squirrels. Oneitis isn't necessarily a Bad Thing, but you can definitely make oneitis a Bad Thing by approaching oneitis in a detrimental way. Of course, that applies to everything. If your approach to life sucks...

 

[DarkLight]

Word up!

I'm glad I posted about this sh!t. The discussion here has evolved some clarity into the situation. In regards to being real, but keeping a sense of clarity, and healthy perspective/value of self, through it all.

Thats pretty much exactly what I was trying to illuminate, and I'm glad some of the bruthaz clarified, the sensibility I was wondering about... Whether to allow such a flood of beautiful good feelings, etc. (or duck and weave my mind, by keeping it busy with other thoughts, activities).

I agree that ONEitis can be a detimental thing. But I guess specifically, allowing the feelings of a "crush" (so to speak)... to lift a brutha, can be a positive thing as well. I know nothing will really come of this incident I'm in right now... as she has a BF, and I'm moving upstate in a month. So... with that reality check, allowing such feelings has been only a positive, uplifiting experience. Haven't really felt any deep heart connection like that since my ex... who totally wrecked me into this site, almost 2yrs ago. So in its healthy context... its been a great thing for my perspective and relating to women, (and I guess in-line with the idea of this thread... LIFE).

Cheers Bruthaz!

New spin on this question though...
Would allowing such initial feelings add the energy necessary to swoop the girl in mind. Or a hindrance to the "game" that would pull her?

It seems I'm at a point in my game, where I'm questioning heart-based approach vs. the psychology of PU.

Seems so natural, when I'm flowin w. a babydoll... as both are one. But I guess the issue is now... how to procede beyond the PU. Beyond the attraction into next steps. To play it pimp... or casanova!? (With the idea in mind, that your diggin the girl on a higher level than just ass to fvck.) The realness of letting heart Casanova be... seems to be the right feeling. But, I'm wondering if keeping it pimp-strong might be the more succesful strong-hold on attraction.

I guess I already know w'sup... and will reckognize it, when someone melds these 2 distinctions through sense.
So on that note... I'll pass the mic to my playa peeps...

thoughts?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Hey i totally know what u mean, when ur in love it's like ur totally at peace. Your in a good mood, ur calm, u treat everybody good, work doesn't seem so bad anymore. It just makes u content, and makes u act like the man u wanna be.

But i can see why they bash one-itis on here. Cuz at any time, that b*tch can drop u and then your gonna wanna jump off a cliff.

But its gonna happen to all of us, so no pt fightin it right?

 

[squirrels]

Well, what is love then?

http://ckjcwf.ytmnd.com/

 

[The Living Legend]

Oneitis = Limerence