Alright,let's have a look at this...
Don_Jaime said:
Ok guys here is an update on whats crackin....
So I give this girl a call and we hit it off and talk for about 5-10 minutes and then i ask her out...I tell her I have to go to the mall tomorrow to take some **** back and I told her to meet up with me at 2 pm. She says she is not sure yet. I tell her that I only accept yes or no answers.
Her saying she wasn't sure yet just means she needs a bit more comfort with you. You seemed to pick up on that when you told yourself that you needed to build a better connection with her.
Good call man.
However,you telling her that you only take yes or no answers was a mistake.
Basically,you gave her an ultimatum...and ultimatums
RARELY work.
Her response was predictable. If she has a choice between doing something she feels unsure about or just playing it safe,she'll go the safe route everytime.
I know you wanted to see her,but you want it to be voluntary on her part.
You want her to come see you because SHE WANTS TO,not because you have to pressure or bully her into it.
Don Jaime said:
I brush it off and think to myself that I need to build a better connection with her first so I proceed to build some more rapport for another 30 minutes.
Like I said before,good call here.
The good thing here is that you ARE LEARNING.
If you get the girl,good,but if not,at least you'll take the knowledge you've aquired here and be able to use it with the next girl.
Don Jaime said:
I really hate to talk on the phone with new girls, but I guess it must be done. After talking with her and I am about to go...I tell her again to meet me at the mall tomorrow. She says "I dont think so". I am cool about it, "ok have a good night" and i hangup.
You being "cool" to her telling you she wouldn't met you was a good move.
Don Jaime said:
Now i found out this girl has some family issues that definitely affect her personality. Her mom cheated on her dad when she was 15 and as a result they got a divorce.
Uh oh. Umm,Don Jaime....you've never had a date with this girl,right?
Uhh,how do you know that her mother cheated on her father,them getting divorced,and such?
You shouldn't be talking about these types of things with this girl,at least not now.
You're trying to date this girl. "Date",as in have a sexual/romantic relationship.
You should be flirting,teasing,busting on her,asking her what she's going to be wearing FOR YOU when you two finally meet up,etc.
All those things are romantic/sexual.
You're talking to her about problems and issues. This is what "Dr. Phil" talks about. You better chill out on that type of talk,or else you KNOW where this thing is headed.
Don Jaime said:
Like ten minutes after i get off the phone with her, she texts me:
"Hey I dont think I can go tomorrow its just a long story on why. I'll explain later if you like but you seem nice

I just wanna get to know you better first."
The fact that she said she wants to get to know you better first means that the jury is still out ON YOU for
her.
That's a GOOD thing.
It means you still have a chance to make her attracted to you,and she's still open to it...BUT that window
IS CLOSING.
Don Jaime said:
"mmm..Straight up, i really do not care why. I do not like people disrespecting my time. When I offer you a time to be with me you should jump on it cuz if not, someone else will. I am not nice, I am a man, and a king at that. You COULD b a queen BUT we will see how bad "you want to get to know me better"
I agree with CarlitosWay. I'm kinda shock you said that to her as well.
That statement was filled with both good
and bad.
You telling her you don't like people disrespecting your time was GOOD,but you telling her she should "jump" when you offer her a chance to spend time with you was BAD.
And you telling her if she if she doesn't "jump" that someone else will was WORSE.
Don Jaime said:
I basically felt i needed to act like a man and not tolerate bull**** and DHV her by telling her I dont need her cuz what this cutie wont do,another on will. I read from disciple to be a king in theses "princesses" eyes and you have to be more dominant than them for them to bow to you...I did exactly that.
You have the concept down,but your timing is off.
You're making the same mistake as before when I told you to STOP TALKING ABOUT being masculine,and just BE masculine.
Don't TELL HER that there are other women who can take her place.
DON'T SAY THAT. She's not stupid,she know she's isn't the only girl in the world.
Just BE masculine. STOP TELLING HER these masculine things about yourself.
Just let her see them ON HER OWN
through your behavior.
Don Jaime said:
...She replies back like immediately after:
"Wow I dont even know what to say"
I would have said the same thing.
Don Jaime said:
Sends another text five minutes later
"Well I am sorry I cant go today its my grammas b day and im not missing that so sorry."
You should have just told her "OK",and that you'll talk to her later.
Don Jaime said:
I reply back like 3 hours later...
"I know you couldnt go today. But if you really want to connect with me then u know how to get a hold of me. your really pretty and all but I want a lady. I know i deserve the best because I am the best. Just keep getting to know me and you'll see I am a cool guy."
You
told her "you're the best" and you
told her that she'll see you're a cool guy.
Too much "telling". I say SHUT UP.
Stop telling her you're the "best" and just BE it,STOP telling her you're "cool" and just BE it.
The way you're coming off is like,"I'm cool. I am. No really,I am. All you have to do is just hang around me. Just give me a chance,and you'll see I'm cool.
Ha,ha,...see? I told you I was cool".
It's like you're trying to convince her that you're cool.
You talk too much in the places where your ATTITUDE and DEMEANOR should be communicating instead of your MOUTH.
Don Jaime said:
I didnt just write this **** to write it either...I am honestly starting to feel that I deserve the best because I am a great guy and have a lot of value to offer people and women. I am letting her know I want a lady not some hoe or hoodrat.
While this is good,she need to SEE THIS on her own instead of you SAYING IT to her.
Don Jaime said:
She immediately replies:
"I am a lady and a very strong one. I deserve the best too but like it hurt me with what you told me eariler. I'm not going to lie it hurt a lot. But you do seem like a good guy and all and I will get to know you better."
She is starting to warm up to me
I think she's starting to warm up to you as well,but you don't want to BURN HER.
You need to work more on attraction and comfort,and STOP TRYING to
push her into coming out to see you.
Don Jaime said:
I reply:
" I can tell you are strong, as I am too. When both people are strong willed usually that means alot of bumping heads, but always the make up sex is great lol"
She immediately replies back; "haha shut up lol" haha
Make up sex,huh? Ok,I'll give you that one.
She seemed to get a chuckle out of it....BUT,you might want to take it easy on the "sex" talk.
You don't want her thinking that all you're after is sex.
And besides,sex with her is COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION...at the moment.
If she's not comfortable enough to meet up and have a date with you,she's definately ain't having sex with you anytime soon.
You can be
sexual with her,but the subject of sex itself shouldn't be discussed.
Don Jaime said:
So now My question is how should I play this... I mean I dont want to ask her out too soon again but of course I dont want to wait too long...
Well for one,STOP PRESSURING HER to meet up with you.
STOP TALKING about serious issues such as parents fighting,getting divorced,etc.
Be fun,light-hearted,playful. Yeah,still be a MAN and refuse disrespect,but with as few words as possible.
Flirt with her,TELL HER you want to see her,TELL HER to make herslef "pretty" for YOU when you two do meet up.
Take a look at everything I've said here. It all is romantic/sexual/personal involving THE TWO OF YOU.
That's what you want on her mind...sexual/romantic thoughts about the TWO OF YOU...not parent's fighting,divorce,or other seroius issues.
I
think you may be still ok,but PLEASE...STOP TELLING HER you're a MAN and just BE one.