Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Thanks for the reply. That's a lot of money to be spending on a girl.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I do give her a treat, like buying her a £3.50 cheap cinema ticket every once in a while.I split all the time, and she likes it that way. And if she's used to it, I wouldn't just start paying out of the blue. She'd probably just find it weird and think I'm trying to impress her.
What makes you want to pay? What do you gain? Never mind the money, but maybe you can show your appreciation in more fun ways.
You could still treat her, randomly and spontaneously, to some snacks or stuff.
Edit: It looks like you really want to pay. Well if you do, make sure you're not doing it in an awkward way
