Should I just let it go?

[3lvovo1]

Hi, dudes, nice to meet yall. I've been a big fan of this site for a while now and I have applied your wisdom to turn my punk ass into a better, less foolish punk ass . now I need your wise advice once more to determine whether I should continue with my girlfriend of two years or not.

basically its the usual boy meets girl. everything is good, girl has baby daddy drama that sucks in boy. friends tell him to dump girl, boy refuses. things calm down, a year and a half later after things being PERFECT, (no sh11 testing, non-stop sex, boy following so suave and being THE MAN, boy has to leave girl for extended periods (work commitments). girl shows willingness to visit and otherwise be a proper lady. One day, BOY develops feelings (love? I fell for her in the third week) and now finds he wants to call all the time, but girl now keeps phone OFF , during afternoon hours every day. :/. (Btw, girl gets job as maseuse - makes fat cash now - and kicks baby daddy out her place - I put up with it that long ) boy begins losing trust in girl because, past life experiences. despite the fact that boy wants to now marry girl and has communicated this, girĺ still keeps phone off after hours. paranoia has set in but I still make her wet, she still spends ďime on me , what should I do? on the surface it's going great, im basically part of the furniture at her family house. The sex is great, emotional now. But this phone thing is a issue, I used to not care before cause it was about the sex now it's just messed up. am I the one with the issue or something? today I hooked up with her at the mall, I am in town for a few days, everything goes like a dream, but she suddenly has to go to another town at the end. when I enquire as to why, she is evasive, trying to laugh it off. before saying she is going to a girlfriend. I think my paranoia is showing.

wise men, what should I do? is she actually feigning interest? The guys say pump-and-dump what do you guys think?

 

[Thorninmyside]

Her phone is off because she's a hooker and she's with customers when you call. That's my guess.

 

[3lvovo1]

Hi, Thorninmyside, I obviously don't want to believe that (cos, relationship history) I guess it's true, her behaviour is way too weird for me. She even say that I have been angry with her too much since last two weeks, as though she doesn't understand what the problem is or that she is the main cause.

 

[WorkHardPlayHard]

It's a chick with a child who is obviously close with the baby daddy. No matter what she's telling you, that's going to a part of the equation.

Bro, she's shutting her phone off and ****. You need to step back and observe her actions, which you can't objectively do when you're trying to call her turned off phone.

 

[marmel75]

maybe she is doing sh!t behind your back, maybe she isn't. You obsessing over it is only going to lead you to push her down the road towards doing it if she isn't already or doing it more to the point of breaking up with you.

If you are having that big of a problem with it sit her down and talk to her and just be up front with her and say something like "I'm not comfortable with how things have been between us the last xxx and I need to know what's going on."

If the answer isn't satisfactory to you then say "Well, I'm not comfortable moving forward in this manner so if nothing is going to change then maybe it's better we go our separate ways." Then shut up and see what she says. If she agrees or does anything other than beg you to stay something likely is going on.

Could you have prevented it? Maybe, maybe not. We tend to blame ourselves when much of what happens in these situations can be out of our control. The only thing we can control is our actions and reactions to the situations and you have not been doing a good job at that and its starting to show to her.

Right now you are acting somewhat passive-aggressive because you are being reactionary to what is going on, but yet not saying anything about it while its going on. Don't duck and dodge the subject because you are afraid of what the end result might be, confront the situation and deal with it the way you want to deal with it, not reacting to what's she's doing.

 

[3lvovo1]

Thanks, dudes. That scripture just put my mind in a higher place. I HAVEN'T been direct about this, phone thing and all. because, well, I sort of blamed myself for not caring about this. I thought maybe im at fault for giving her too much freedom or something. literally three weeks ago, she is waiting on me with bated breath, (me not give a damn about her, don't text, call - I give her the bad boy experience) something flips in me and I now absolutely can't stand not being on the phone with her. I wanted (okay, okay. I WANT) to be ultra serious so I figured some of my games should stop but now she is being weird. I'm being beta aren't I?

 

[marmel75]

Thanks, dudes. That scripture just put my mind in a higher place. I HAVEN'T been direct about this, phone thing and all. because, well, I sort of blamed myself for not caring about this. I thought maybe im at fault for giving her too much freedom or something. literally three weeks ago, she is waiting on me with bated breath, (me not give a damn about her, don't text, call - I give her the bad boy experience) something flips in me and I now absolutely can't stand not being on the phone with her. I wanted (okay, okay. I WANT) to be ultra serious so I figured some of my games should stop but now she is being weird. I'm being beta aren't I?

If what you are doing is working, then why stop?

 

[3lvovo1]

"if what you are doing is working, why stop?"

*chin scratch* dammit.
I just thought, like, stuff should change because I feel more serious about the girl.
Thanks for all the advice guys, I see that im obsessing and should just give this one a break. she probably ain't as great as I want to believe but that is life. so I probably should not go to her looking for a wife when frankly there isn't one to be found.

You guys are great, seriously.