"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Should i just block her? or Just ignore her?

averagejoecoffee

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So i recently unplugged from the sytem, and now trying to find my way around the deep rabbit hole. Broke things off with an ex couple of months ago, after a week or so, she initated contact and we just been texting back and forward.

Now i have read the no contact rule on SoSuave, and i can see i done a big mistake in not contacting her for a period of time, but the damage is already done.

Back then i noticed when i ignored her for couple of days she would call, text goodmornig, ask how my day was, say goodnigt. But when i started to text her back and responed she started to scale back on that. No goodmorning, or goodnight, and just text randomly once a day.

I know i know, the beta me feel for it, and i recognized my mistake. Right now just received the Rational Male, and reading through it and i starting to realize i was the main reason for the realtionship broke up in the first place. She was inded my Oneitis.

Damaged is done, and emotionally im done with her. But now im trying to figure out what to do regarding contact.

Im thinking just blocking her on insta, whatsapp fb etc. But i dont want her to think im doing that because " im trying to get her out of my mind" which i am not. Like i honestly think she wants me to do that so she has an excuse to move on, because right now she is doing the whole tinder thing, but at the same time saying she misses me etc. I dont want to do her the favour of " blocking" her because it kinda feels like she wants me to do that at this point. Whatever frame i had with her its gone through my beta ways of dealing with her and damage is done.

Other option would be just to complete ignore here, while having her on insta, fb, and whatsapp, but just dont initate contact etc.

would like to her any adivice on this matter. Brutal honest!
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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lizardking82

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She is keeping you around as an orbiter while she looks for her next chump.

Break off contact, block on Instagram and any social media and move onto other girls or just stay alone for a while, you might need it.

No contact is for you, not for her. Do not give a fack how it might seem to her, that's irrelevant, as is she.

Do not try and suppress any feelings that might come through now. If you're anxious and "miss her", let it be, let yourself feel it and go through it. What you resist, persists. So don't resist it, just block her everywhere and you'll be done with her in no time.
 

averagejoecoffee

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She is keeping you around as an orbiter while she looks for her next chump.

Break off contact, block on Instagram and any social media and move onto other girls or just stay alone for a while, you might need it.

No contact is for you, not for her. Do not give a fack how it might seem to her, that's irrelevant, as is she.

Do not try and suppress any feelings that might come through now. If you're anxious and "miss her", let it be, let yourself feel it and go through it. What you resist, persists. So don't resist it, just block her everywhere and you'll be done with her in no time.
I honestly would not have problem doing that. But me just deleting her, after i did the first time and then failed to hold it would seem like im doing it because im still thinking about her.

Like i dont know how to explain it, but its like if you hungry and cant decide between pizza and thai food, but then the thai food resturant is closed for some reason, that just makes the choise for pizza easy for you. Am i making sense? Like im done with her, but i just dont want to make it easy for her to move on. If i broke up with her now i would just completely shut her off my life but i failed to do that first time, and now feels like she has the upperhand if that makes sense.
 

averagejoecoffee

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You know what reading what you wrote again couple of time think you have answered my question. "No contact is for you, not for her. Do not give a fack how it might seem to her, that's irrelevant, as is she." Think that answers my question. Thanks.
 

soulforge

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You know what reading what you wrote again couple of time think you have answered my question. "No contact is for you, not for her. Do not give a fack how it might seem to her, that's irrelevant, as is she." Think that answers my question. Thanks.
Bruv no contact is just for you, so you can erase her memory and move on..

How she feels will not matter.. This is for your survival, so you can recover from this break up sooner, than later..

Once healed you can meet someone who really wants to be with you, without any doubts.

Also a time for you to reflect and improve yourself, so you don't make beta mistakes again.. Good luck
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

marmel75

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Try and make her a FWB if you feel you can be emotionally disengaged.
 

Reykhel

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Now i have read the no contact rule on SoSuave, and i can see i done a big mistake in not contacting her for a period of time, but the damage is already done.
you live you learn. No you have a reference point. You won't do that again.

Back then i noticed when i ignored her for couple of days she would call, text goodmornig, ask how my day was, say goodnigt. But when i started to text her back and responed she started to scale back on that. No goodmorning, or goodnight, and just text randomly once a day.
Now you understand how that "energy" works. Don't be her girlfriend chatting by text like a bunch of giggling schoolgirls, be a man ....she'll want to pursue.

you know the saying
"women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships". You are a ***** if you give away your time so easily. She wants to win your time, not be handed on a plate.

But now im trying to figure out what to do regarding contact.
ignore, don't block

If she contacts again.......send out a boundary setting text "listen, I think it's healthier to draw a line under the sand right now. Our relationship is over. All the best" once that's sent never answer another message again. if she continues to send messages then block. She'll know it's because she was being a pest.
 
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averagejoecoffee

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Bruv no contact is just for you, so you can erase her memory and move on..

How she feels will not matter.. This is for your survival, so you can recover from this break up sooner, than later..

Once healed you can meet someone who really wants to be with you, without any doubts.

Also a time for you to reflect and improve yourself, so you don't make beta mistakes again.. Good luck
Thanks man i will be doing that.
 

averagejoecoffee

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you live you learn. No you have a reference point. You won't do that again.



Now you understand how that "energy" works. Don't be her girlfriend chatting by text like a bunch of giggling schoolgirls, be a man ....she'll want to pursue.

you know the saying
"women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships". You are a ***** if you give away your time so easily. She wants to win your time, not be handed on a plate.


ignore, don't block

If she contacts again.......send out a boundary setting text "listen, I don't it's healthier to draw a line under the sand right now. Our relationship is over. All the best" once that's sent never answer another message again. if she continues to send messages then block. She'll know it's because she was being a pest.
Thanks man i think i will be doing that. Just ignore her and if she text just tell her its done, and if keeps texting then block. Thats a good way to go around it. Thanks for the input.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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soulforge

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Dont know about that. Honestly i dont even think she is worth that.

Don't kid yourself into believing you can keep her around as a FWB.

Most guys whom attempt this Fail badly, and things turn toxic very fast.

Once you have been emotionaly involved with someone for a long period of time, developed oneitis.. Reverting to FWB is an extremely difficult task, unless you are of strong character and can suppress your feelings.

My advice is, stick with No Contact.. And see how you go from there!
 

RangerMIke

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Me.... I never burn bridges because you never know. Blocking someone is burning a bridge. Just ignore her. Develop some self-discipline and just fight the temptation to check out what she is up to on social media.

Go get other chicks... that is the best way to forget about a chick.
 
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