Should I hide the fact that I have a girlfriend?

[BillyPilgrim]

OP why wont your girlfriend come to your city to visit you?

 

[Bokanovsky]

You really can't hide anything from a woman. They are living breathing lie detectors.

This is not even remotely true. Some of the most willfully blind people I’ve met were women.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Telling other women that you have a girlfriend basically means you’re off the market. Only on rare occasions might a woman pursue someone else’s boyfriend or husband, usually due to factors like having few options, seeing you as the best available choice, craving drama, competition, and other variables I am forgetting.

Regardless, as for your long-distance girlfriend, as they say in my native language and loosely translated to English, “long-distance relationships are for fools”.

 

[Jacer]

if pressed then
just say,of course I have friends and being an attractive Women I expect you do too.

WoW~This is a good idear. Thanks !

 

[Jacer]

You really can't hide anything from a woman. They are living breathing lie detectors.

Yes. And i think One lie requires more lies to support it. So at present, I am answering their questions truthfully.

 

[Jacer]

At some point you have to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. Would you feel guilty cheating on your girlfriend? Are a few minutes of pleasure worth an unknown time of guilt?

I think you have grasped the essence of the matter. This is also the reason why I am currently in a dilemma. To be honest, perhaps I am a fickle person. I like my girlfriend, but if there's a pretty, cute and interesting girl around me, I'll also like her.

 

[Jacer]

So - no, don’t hide it. Just end it if you are honest with yourself and find these feelings are coming from a place of really not being into her.

You make a very valid point. I think I’ve found myself in a decision-making dilemma: either maintain the status quo, or take a risk to gain something better—though there is also the possibility of ending up with nothing at all.

 

[Jacer]

She's such a good match for you that you came on Sosuave and asked if you should you lie she exists so you can have sex with hot girls.

It might be my desires controlling me. I have a great girlfriend—an "8"—but when I'm surrounded by "10" girls all day long, it's hard not to be tempted.

 

[Jacer]

And since op mentioned marriage, one would assume that's one factor to consider in his partners.
Women who are happy to be "plates", or non-exclusive, typically are not marriage material.
But it sounds like you aren't ready for marriage either, which is fine.

I completely agree with your point of view.
Curiously, feminism and the embrace of singlehood are currently gaining widespread popularity in China. Due to work-related stress, the pressure of purchasing a home, and the financial burden of traditional marriage customs—such as the bride price—the majority of young Chinese people today have no desire to get married.

 

[Jacer]

My suggestion would be to tell your girlfriend that you need a break from the relationship to focus on your studies as you do not have the time for a long distance relationship but she is still very important to you and still think you could one day end up together.

Wow, that's excellent advice. Your analysis is very insightful. I'll definitely take it into consideration!

 

[Jacer]

If you have to game the answer, you’re probably gaming the wrong situation.

Hello, corrector!
Thank you for your reply; I appreciate that you are trying to guide me. However—perhaps due to inaccuracies in translation—I do not quite understand what you mean. I would be very grateful if you could provide a more detailed explanation.

 

[Jacer]

Telling other women that you have a girlfriend basically means you’re off the market. Only on rare occasions might a woman pursue someone else’s boyfriend or husband, usually due to factors like having few options, seeing you as the best available choice, craving drama, competition, and other variables I am forgetting.

Regardless, as for your long-distance girlfriend, as they say in my native language and loosely translated to English, “long-distance relationships are for fools”.

You are absolutely right. No one likes long-distance relationships. My girlfriend is from my hometown, and we shared a very close period of living together. However, due to changes in our work and study locations, it has become difficult to ensure that we remain in the same place for extended periods.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is not even remotely true. Some of the most willfully blind people I’ve met were women.

Exactly, she knows you are lying and accepts this anyway. She refuses to see the truth right in front of her... the more she loves a man... or is getting other things the man can deliver... the more she will tolerate.

 

[corrector]

Hello, corrector!
Thank you for your reply; I appreciate that you are trying to guide me. However—perhaps due to inaccuracies in translation—I do not quite understand what you mean. I would be very grateful if you could provide a more detailed explanation.

I’m saying something similar to what others are saying.


If you have to lie and say you are single just to attract women, then you are creating a situation that will be hard to maintain. You will always have to remember what you said and avoid being exposed.


Over time, that becomes stressful and can cause problems with both your girlfriend and the new women.