Should I help my brother?

[wakeliquid]

My brother does nothing but sits around and play video games... It's his life and it's pretty pathetic.. I see nothing wrong with doing what you like, but anything to excess is no good. He's 15.. and I can't ever recall him being interested in a "real" girl, although he has posters all over his room. What I wanna know is if I should try and help the kid, is he just a late bloomer or what? I'm 18, and was a real quick maturer, so things took off real quick for me... but I don't want him to end up at the end of his highschool career and thing "Damn, I didn't do anything, I'm a loser"...

 

[Da Game]

I think that ultimately change must come from within. He's obviously comfortable the way he is, and will resist you trying to get his to move outside his comfort zone. At the same time, it would be nice of you to try to get him involved somewhat socially, just so has the chance. In the end though, you can't force him into it.

 

[wakeliquid]

yeah, i can understand that.. he's definitely comfortable with where he is, i guess everyone has to come up their own way..... I can look back to when I was his age, and I regret getting into drugs, screwed over 3 years of my life.... you just gotta learn from experience i reckon

 

[PEACEDJ]

Dude...... that is the SAME EXCAT situation with my brother...and i always thought i was the only one...

 

[wakeliquid]

yeah, i dunno if it's their generation or what.. I do notice that he and his friends are WAY more taken by the digital world that anyone i ever knew.. don't think it's to healthy, but hopefully they grow out of it.

 

[Survivor]

I'm far from being a high schooler (27), but I'll chime in.

All you can do for your brother at this time is set a good example for him.

Any direct help you try to give him will be rejected. This is because he hasn't reached his breaking point yet.

Once he reaches his "AFC" breaking point (months, maybe years from now), your brother will be motivated to change for himself, and not out of obligation to you. The decision to improve himself he must make on his own, and only after reaching his breaking point will he be disciplined enough to be successful.

Hopefully your brother won't have to endure too many heartbreaks before he eventually comes around.

 

[Affinity]

I disagree.

You can do something to help your brother out, without pointing out the fact that he 'plays video games too much' or 'isn't interested in girls yet'.

If you really want to help your brother, there are ways you can do it, subtly.

Take him out some night to shoot a few games of pool. Make it a casual thing, you guys go out with a few buddies together every week or so and shoot pool. This will get him out of the house and doing something with people, and hopefully he'll enjoy playing pool and he'll have a new hobby. This benefits him in that he'll improve his pool game the more he plays, and will grow more confident because of this, and he'll be out interacting with other people.

After a while, see if your brother will start working out with you. After seeing that he has fun doing things with you from shooting pool, he should be quick to accept. Working out will increase his confidence drastically, and get him in better shape. Girls may start taking notice into HIM, seeing how he is working out and enjoys his hobbies.

Now you let him have his painful ordeals. His heartbreaks. His experiences.

And then you know what will happen? Once he reaches his 'breaking point', he'll seek a way to change himself, and he'll go to somebody for advice. His brother, who thankfully for him, has a whole wealth on DJ knowledge.

There's your solution. You get him started in life, doing something, and attract the girls to him...Then let him experience everything life has to offer him from there.

 

[Survivor]

Affinity, we're actually in agreement.

That's what I meant by "setting a good example". Of course, wakeliquid should introduce his brother to hobbies other than video games, but like you said, subtly.

What I was trying to state is that he shouldn't yell out to his brother, "You pathetic piece of ****! All you do is play video games and post naked girls on your wall! Hit the gym and log on to sosuave.com so you can get a REAL girl!" That will go in one ear and out the other.

Agreed, Wakeliquid should guide his brother in the right direction, but the motivation to truly change his brother will have to find on his own, via his breaking point.