Should I have done something differently with this girl from work?

[timble9]

Work in a hospital in a smallish town and she is a traveling midwife that I'd known for a few months. Always quite flirty physically touchy with me, but I had asked her to come out for drinks with colleagues many times and she would always say "maybe" and never commit. She was flirty with other male friends I work with, but they said it was "different" with me and she was always giving me "fk me eyes", but as she would never come out I never took her seriously.

It was her last week on the job and I was sitting down next to her reading some notes (I hadn't seen her for a few weeks as we'd been on different shifts). She touches my thigh and asked me which one of the nurses I was "trying to tune" - I looked her in the eyes and said her, she laughed and said she didn't believe me and continued to ask me who I was interested in, but then the conversation was interrupted. Later on my friend tells me she had been asking him who I was seeing.

That night she messages me on Instagram (we've never messaged before) and suggests we continue our conversation at work the next day. I say that if she wants to continue that line of conversation, then she'd have to get together with me outside of work...and she left me on seen.

Next day we weren't working in the same area, but whenever we'd cross paths she would tease me about something and I always caught her staring at me, looking back over her shoulder when I'd walk past etc., but we never really had a chance to be alone.

Because she left me on seen when I suggested we get together outside of work and because she flirts with other colleagues, I just assumed she was a tease/flirt and wasn't actually that interested, so I toned down the flirting in person the following days and kept things coy. Looking back I want to know if there is something I should have done differently - she has left town now and I'm not sure if I missed an opportunity, or if she was just playing me. I have it in my mind that if she was actually interested she would have responded to my suggestion of getting together outside of work.

 

[SW15]

Small-ish towns with a limited supply of women can lead to some poor decisions, such as trying to seduce women at work in a white collar workplace.

You were at least wise enough not to hit on her until her last week as your co-worker. That's sort of the nature of work of travelling nurses and travelling midwives. They move on to other cities.

I'd forget this interaction with her ever happened now that she's moved on to another city.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Low interest level on her part. It was over when she replied maybe to your date offer. The only thing you did wrong was inflating her ego. You need to forget about this chick.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Because she left me on seen when I suggested we get together outside of work

If she was doing all the flirting with you, you should have asked her in person, not via instragram like a scared little guy. Dating people at work is not a good idea, however, you could've asked "what time you get off today? Lets get a couple if drinks" Right there few words, direct and concise. If she puts any excuse, you agree, no chase, no calls, no more flirts, no more messages on instagram, strictly professional. She wasn't interested, therefore you won't be another orbiter.

 

[corona20]

i think there's still a chance there, just ask her out "hey listen xxx, how about lets meetup for some coffee .. just for like 5-15 minutes. YES or NO? (in a serious playful tone). That;s what i woulve said.

If she refuses that, then its done done

 

[timble9]

Thanks for the replies, I'm not bothered about her specifically because she has left now, just bothered about maybe missing an opportunity and not wanting to do so again in the future. So even though she ignored my request to get together over Instagram - I should have still asked her out again in person the next day?

As for sleeping around at work, it's pretty rampart where I work and I do take precautions to cover myself. I rarely ask people out directly to avoid getting the reputation of being the guy that hits on everyone but have pretty good success with asking people to come to group things and making a move then.

But I'm confused about the logistics of asking someone over text/instagram because I do usually do it face to face. If it's ignored, is that not a clear sign of disinterest and therefore I shouldn't be trying to push it in person and just act with indifference?

 

[RazorRambo24]

I get a big feeling she looks at you as a cute, boy toy type.. I feel like she knows she's very experienced and might be looking at you like you're innocent.. I'm guessing she has already been involved with people or is involved with someone already and just looking to toy around for fun.

Traveling nurses/midwives are notorious for just hooking up with diff guys in diff places they go. I think she fancies you alot more becfause she sees you as innocent , whereas the guys who meet up to hook up with her are seen as more experienced.

So do you look a bit young or something?