Should I ghost my girlfriend?

[StacksHitEmUp]

I’ve been with this woman for almost 2 years now. The last few weeks she has been nagging and in general very annoying, even verging on the edge of disrespect. She’s kindof having a hard time lately because of family issues but I shouldn’t have to deal with her being moody because of that. I’ve grown tired of the negativity and don’t feel like just breaking up with her as I’d rather just ghost as to covertly say I don’t owe her an explanation for me wanting to leave her. I already have other women lined up.

 

[Barrister]

No - this isn't a plate or STR fling you are dealing with. This is a woman you were with for 2 years. No small thing and she doesn't deserve to be ghosted no matter how sh1tty she is being right in this moment.

Clearly - it is time to move on. No doubt about that. But do so with dignity and show you are a man of principle. Simply ghosting her will make you look like an a$$hole to a lot more people than just her - more people than you may imagine. This could have a negative impact on you in ways that are hard to predict (future relationships, social circle, career, etc.). You always want to be able to say you operated from the high ground in these situations. Even when you do, expect her to bad mouth you. Don't give her any legitimate reasons to do so.

 

[darksprezzatura]

You can choose to give both of yourselves some space.

I am a firm believer in not cheating, it's a word/integrity thing.

If it's not an exclusive relationship you can choose to avoid her, keep things civil and short without an explanation.

If it's exclusive, it's often a good idea to be direct and straightforward.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Ghosting is a candy-ass, cowardly, and immature way to handle things. Women do this all the time because as the physically weaker sex they are programmed to avoid confrontation especially with males. Is this you?

Plus, you've been with her for 2 years. That's like 100 years in the modern world of dating, so she deserves better even though she's been b*tchy.

My recommendation is to call a "time out." You need to do it and call it. Just tell her based on the recent communication patterns, etc., you think you two need a break, maybe a few weeks. It's a ballsy move and most guys don't have the nuts to do it, but the payoff is enormous as the woman usually shapes up.

They key is YOU need to call for it and not give into her possible emotional response like anger, crying, etc. Be "James Bond" about it, calm, cool, collected, and most of all BRIEF. And STICK to it.

Good luck.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Some great advice, thanks for that. I think I will do call the time-out as suggested above. It’s better to be a man about it rather than just drop off the face of the planet especially since I did have good times with her until now so I guess she deserves a brief explanation.

 

[Glassguy]

Assuming you dont live together, just give her silence and distance. Be rare for the next week and see if she gets the memo and how she responds to it. If/when she asks what is wrong, just tell her. You are tired of her nagging and negativity.

A line that I have used several times is this: "I was interested in how things were going but I am definitely not interested in how things are right now". The sub context is that you have one foot out the door and she will understand what you are saying, and also understand that you are a MAN who will make decisions that are best for YOU.

Keep those other women you have lined up close to your vest just in case.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’ve been with this woman for almost 2 years now. The last few weeks she has been nagging and in general very annoying, even verging on the edge of disrespect. She’s kindof having a hard time lately because of family issues but I shouldn’t have to deal with her being moody because of that. I’ve grown tired of the negativity and don’t feel like just breaking up with her as I’d rather just ghost as to covertly say I don’t owe her an explanation for me wanting to leave her. I already have other women lined up.

Maybe you should act like an adult and have a conversation with her.

That's actually still a thing.

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

So, here's the deal: after 2 years of dating, many women feel as though they have their man in the palm of their hand. Especially if, prior to the weeks of disagreement, things were going a bit too smoothly.

Women sometimes get the false impression that they hold all the cards, and that the man they're with is weak and worships the ground they walk on. In other words, they get the idea that you'd never walk away from them. And yet, they NEED to know you'd be willing to walk away if pushed too far or disrespected.

I experienced this before myself. Things were going great for many months, and then out of no where the woman started to be more picky and argumentative about things, starting fights about stuff that wasn't big deals. Worse, when I would try to calmly sit down and talk about these things and give my honest perspective (since that's what she was asking for), she would balk at what I was saying, constantly interrupt me, and not want to hear what I was saying.

And so, in the middle of one of these arguments, I dumped her. Told her I was tired of this on-going cycle, and I was just done.

At the time, I don't think she actually believed I'd be the one to walk away. But when I did, something in her changed. Now, she was calling up my phone, begging to be able to talk again, asking me what she did wrong, etc. I went a few days without talking to her, letting the messages pile up on the phone and in my email box. Finally, I decided to be open to a conversation with her. In that convo, I told her straight up: I don't care if we disagree on something, I am more than willing to hear her BUT I would not be disrespected and wanted to be heard and understood.

After that, any future conversations with her went much better, and she would actually LISTEN to what I had to say and be more careful in how she talked to me. Why? Because she now knew she could legit lose me, and that I had no problem with being able to dump her and find someone else.

It sounds like your woman doesn't have that thought about you. It may mean having to put your foot down and say tell her where she's messing up. Like, she got mad at you for not wanting to go to her family's place, yet it was her year to go to YOUR parents places and YOU didn't get mad about it, so her being mad is really out of pocket. So, tell her that. And let her know you haven't appreciated these last few weeks, and if things don't change or if y'all can't figure out a better way to communicate that you'll be out. And you have to sound like you MEAN it (and you should mean it).