I just called a woman I dated last week. Just kisses no sex. During the date she told me she had tons of work, and at the end of the month this will be over. Nonetheless when I called her she was hungover. I told her "when are you free to get together?" she told me she couldn't today, so she'd let me know. Then I told her that I didn't mean today, and she told me "I don't know". So far she was kind of jokingly talking to me, but I told her "seriously, when are you free to get together?", she told me "next week". "What day?" I told her, and she told me "tell me what day and I tell you if I can". Finally I told her what day she was free and she told me Thursday. "Great I'll pick you up at 8" I told her. Did I set the date properly? Was that a test or a flake indicator? Should I cancel and wait to hear from her?
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Should I cancel?
- Thread starter josesfeir
- Start date
Serenity
Moderator
That came off as desperate and pushy. Just wait a until next week and hit her up again instead of pushing for an answer right now. If you have options or otherwise aren't desperate then it isn't a big deal to get back to her later.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
You say she was hung over; she must have felt like sh!t. What you did was to associate requests for dates with you with feeling like sh!t.
You should have let it go and asked her in another day or two.
You should have let it go and asked her in another day or two.
Glassguy
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1st off- this was WAY too clingy, desperate and insecure in how you went about this. IDK what happens next, this chick is NOT showing up on a date with you.
And you said you would pick her up at 8 and she didnt respond back. What does that tell you?
What should have happened:
You: When are you free?
Her: Not today
You: I didnt mean today. I meant later
Her: I dont know
You: OK.
Then you leave the conversation because she is not into you. Go find interested girls who are sexually attracted to you. And stop being so available man. Go do things. Go live life.
So she told you this.
Then she told you this. Right here is where you LEAVE the conversation.
Ugh. Super desperate. At this point she checked out.
Because she just checked out. Instead of raising her medium interest, you already killed it off.
She was already done and going to agree with anything to end the conversation that you awkwardly put her in. Her key word was "IF" she can. She already knew she wouldnt
So you also failed the availability test. You are seriously available every day? Why? Why dont you have a life and other stuff planned? That should be your priority. Not chasing a woman.
And you said you would pick her up at 8 and she didnt respond back. What does that tell you?
What should have happened:
You: When are you free?
Her: Not today
You: I didnt mean today. I meant later
Her: I dont know
You: OK.
Then you leave the conversation because she is not into you. Go find interested girls who are sexually attracted to you. And stop being so available man. Go do things. Go live life.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
Glassguy
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Let me give you some advice- dont say anything to her.
If she reaches out to confirm, then go out with her.
If you dont hear back from her again, dont reach out.
DO NOT send her a text canceling. Either she reaches out or you dont show up. If she shows up and you dont (which is HIGHLY unlikely), you simply tell her that something came up and you forgot about the plans with her. And that is instant raising your value.
You think you are being direct, and you are to an extent but “let’s hang out” doesn’t cut it. Your first text should have been
“There is this restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while now, I am going to go on xx date at xx time are you free”?
If she says no, then don’t attempt to reschedule till the date you mentioned originally passes, because let’s be honest unless she is a doctor or a lawyer or something like that if she really wanted to be free she can make herself free.
most women don’t do **** in the evenings when they get off during the week but maybe gym for an hour, shop online and watch trash tv.
“There is this restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while now, I am going to go on xx date at xx time are you free”?
If she says no, then don’t attempt to reschedule till the date you mentioned originally passes, because let’s be honest unless she is a doctor or a lawyer or something like that if she really wanted to be free she can make herself free.
most women don’t do **** in the evenings when they get off during the week but maybe gym for an hour, shop online and watch trash tv.
Glassguy
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I agree but if this chick's interest level is that low that it matters, she wasnt seeing him again regardless. His desperation just gave her the opportunity she needed to ghost him.
I didn't text, I called her.
Georgepithyou
Banned
Don't ask her when she is free, instead go with something like this.
"I'm heading out to this great bar in the evening I heard they have this special deal going on, you should come join me."
"I'm heading out to this great bar in the evening I heard they have this special deal going on, you should come join me."
I don't understand
Should I cancel the date?
I called her
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
OP, I sense you're young and inexperienced and we've all been there. I will actually give you 1 point for being assertive and going for what you want as some women will respond to it (~10%). There is a dating strategy where a guy comes on very strong, the woman bites, he dates her, and then slams on the brakes. This can drive women nuts in a good way. It's never been my MO but I do know guys who have run this game with success.
That being said, you should have taken the lead a lot more in your interaction and already had a date idea in mind: "Hey Sally, there this great new seafood restaurant that opened up I'd like to check out. I'm slammed this week but have a crack in my schedule at 7:00 PM on Wednesday. Let's do it. I challenge you to an oyster eating contest, unless you know you'll lose--and will have to buy a round of drinks, haha." And leave it at that. She accepts, great. Confirm day-of so you don't waste your time. And people telling you confirming a date is weak, beta, etc., is bad advice. I'm a VERY busy man and am not going to gamble my time on a woman who may or may not show up. Basically, I'll give her room to back out if she wants so I'll know if she's high IL or not.
By all means DON'T CANCEL if you have interest in this girl. You'll come across as a flake and unsure and you will KILL any chance you had.
When you confirm (or she may), shoot for early that day, tell her what the plan is like I outlined above. Make it fun, tease her a bit, and be positive. If she flakes, just say "ok" and leave it at that and move on.
Got it?
Good luck.
~Dash~
That being said, you should have taken the lead a lot more in your interaction and already had a date idea in mind: "Hey Sally, there this great new seafood restaurant that opened up I'd like to check out. I'm slammed this week but have a crack in my schedule at 7:00 PM on Wednesday. Let's do it. I challenge you to an oyster eating contest, unless you know you'll lose--and will have to buy a round of drinks, haha." And leave it at that. She accepts, great. Confirm day-of so you don't waste your time. And people telling you confirming a date is weak, beta, etc., is bad advice. I'm a VERY busy man and am not going to gamble my time on a woman who may or may not show up. Basically, I'll give her room to back out if she wants so I'll know if she's high IL or not.
By all means DON'T CANCEL if you have interest in this girl. You'll come across as a flake and unsure and you will KILL any chance you had.
When you confirm (or she may), shoot for early that day, tell her what the plan is like I outlined above. Make it fun, tease her a bit, and be positive. If she flakes, just say "ok" and leave it at that and move on.
Got it?
Good luck.
~Dash~
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What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Never push... ask and if you get any resistance, move onto the next one and forget about her. Circle back around in about a month, if she suddenly becomes enthusiastic, you have something to work with.... if you get more ambiguity, then forget about her for good.
Never cancel a date you make.... once a chick says she's going to meet you at a time and place, keep the date unless a real emergency comes up. To do otherwise means you are acting like a chick.... it's emotional manipulation and men can not beat women in an emotional manipulation fight... that's their home turf, and the only way you win is if you do not play.
Never cancel a date you make.... once a chick says she's going to meet you at a time and place, keep the date unless a real emergency comes up. To do otherwise means you are acting like a chick.... it's emotional manipulation and men can not beat women in an emotional manipulation fight... that's their home turf, and the only way you win is if you do not play.