"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should I call her more or keep no contact?

lastking

Don Juan
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Hi Guys....Broke up with Ex girlfriend close to 8 months ago. We were together for 8 and half years.We were together since she was 18 yrs old. I have tried to talk to her about getting back together but she says that she has moved on. Once in a while I will call or text her and she will mention/complain that she doesn't hear from me but when I talk to her she says that she has moved on. Should I call her more or keep no contact? I would like to get back with her. Any advice??...Thank you!!





update: I suggested that we meet up for coffee recently and she agreed but not sure whether any of this is a positive sign. Most likely not:) I was also surprised to see that she still has a bunch of pictures of me and her on facebook.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MOTU

Master Don Juan
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Let her go dude. She wants the security of knowing you still dote on her, but she is done with you. Go NC and spin some plates and it will be all better.
 

Johnny Alias

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You have to let her go. Block her completely so you're not tempted to respond to texts or calls once she realizes you have dropped off the planet. Right now youre coming off as desperate. I've been there believe me.

All relationships end. This isn't a damned fairy tale. Spin plates. Dont talk to her again. When you finally run into her somewhere months down the road you hopefully wont give a crap... and she will notice... but you wont give a crap. Get it?
 

abe0

Senior Don Juan
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It sucks...you had an 8 year investment....almost like a marriage and you still love her. Unfortunately, it is time to let go and move on just like she has. Sounds like she is meeting you as a friend and I would not put any stock in that meeting. Best, Abe
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
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I'm betting that many of us have been there. The urge to see her may override the logic of avoiding an unpleasant outcome.

No one likes to log in and see discouraging advice, but we write because we've been there and hope to prevent others form the same mistakes.

My advice is to send her a text two days before with something like "hate to bail out, but something came up. Cheers" (or sign off with something positive) .
 

CharlieCW

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I was in this situation before, she will just keep you with the illusion of coming back and you will get more emotionally attached to her.

Yeah I'm very sorry dude, but the best is to move on. Get a new hobby, do things what you want, hang out with new friends, it will help you think less about her and more about you.
 
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