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Should I bring this up or leave it alone?

typical

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In my humble opinion. If you as a grown man above the age of 25 have to come to SoSuave and make a post about a woman and a lengthy one at that then your real problem
Is “Inner Game”.

You’re so invested into this woman that you’re now playing “defend the lines at all cost”. You can stroke your ego as much as you like but you’ve already started to lose the frame and are looking for help to gain it back.

The way the world works is that as a man you should be putting your life and your life goals ahead of everything else. After that comes family (that’s if you had a good relationship with your folks) after that it’s your neat friends be they male or female. After that cultivate some serious hobbies that require dedication and time to perfect and enjoy. Once at this point should you really look into dating anyone seriously as now you have a wide array of “safety nets” to protect your heart if things go south.

At this point in life it is when you should be spinning plates even if it’s only 2 or 3 women but be willing to drop them at a moments notice. You NEED to be seen as the higher SMV person in the relationship (casual or serious).

If you are seen as a notch or 3 higher than her (in her eyes not your endeared ego’s sense of worth) then there will never ever be a question of “making time for you” “talking about orbiters or friends” “talking about the ex”. She will work 10x harder to be seen as the “woman you should marry because I’m perfect and good”.

They will delete the numbers of male orbiters off their phone. They will stop going out on “girls night outs”. They will do everything in their power not to lose you.

It may sound controlling BUT if you’re seen as “the catch” trust me the behaviour will be very different and the women will behave like an AFC trying to get you to commit.

Now if you’re a stable self made fit healthy man with options in every aspect of his life. This becomes second nature and you won’t have to think about or worry about much. If things work awesome if they don’t you’ve got enough going on that you won’t drop into a slump.

Instead of focusing on the small issues build a lifestyle that supports your health and wellbeing first and suddenly everything falls into place ...... regardless of how much “game” you have or how attractive the woman is.
 

The Diver

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So SHOULD I even bring up the male friend situation of her
In your case it's very simple :

Leave it, if you see her rejecting all of them.

Move on if she starts accepting invitations from orbiters.

I had a bad situation with a "Best friend" orbiter. You can't win, and the controlling card pulled out. I told her it's not about control but respect.
I ended it after a year.
 
Last edited:

jnMissouri

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In my humble opinion. If you as a grown man above the age of 25 have to come to SoSuave and make a post about a woman and a lengthy one at that then your real problem
Is “Inner Game”.

You’re so invested into this woman that you’re now playing “defend the lines at all cost”. You can stroke your ego as much as you like but you’ve already started to lose the frame and are looking for help to gain it back.

The way the world works is that as a man you should be putting your life and your life goals ahead of everything else. After that comes family (that’s if you had a good relationship with your folks) after that it’s your neat friends be they male or female. After that cultivate some serious hobbies that require dedication and time to perfect and enjoy. Once at this point should you really look into dating anyone seriously as now you have a wide array of “safety nets” to protect your heart if things go south.

At this point in life it is when you should be spinning plates even if it’s only 2 or 3 women but be willing to drop them at a moments notice. You NEED to be seen as the higher SMV person in the relationship (casual or serious).

If you are seen as a notch or 3 higher than her (in her eyes not your endeared ego’s sense of worth) then there will never ever be a question of “making time for you” “talking about orbiters or friends” “talking about the ex”. She will work 10x harder to be seen as the “woman you should marry because I’m perfect and good”.

They will delete the numbers of male orbiters off their phone. They will stop going out on “girls night outs”. They will do everything in their power not to lose you.

It may sound controlling BUT if you’re seen as “the catch” trust me the behaviour will be very different and the women will behave like an AFC trying to get you to commit.

Now if you’re a stable self made fit healthy man with options in every aspect of his life. This becomes second nature and you won’t have to think about or worry about much. If things work awesome if they don’t you’ve got enough going on that you won’t drop into a slump.

Instead of focusing on the small issues build a lifestyle that supports your health and wellbeing first and suddenly everything falls into place ...... regardless of how much “game” you have or how attractive the woman is.

So using that logic everyone here has inner game issues for asking any questions. Got it....I'm about to turn 40, have many hobbies and friends, an executive career and a portfolio of multiple rental properties. You somehow turned a single question about whether I should bring up the topic to me needing a life which I already have, which has nothing to do with the topic at hand....whether I should bring it up.

It came up in conversation, I mentioned it, she said she can see how I would think that but what she said after that made it an instant non issue for me.
 

joesbigship

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I can't tell you how many times I've seen this exact same scenario play itself out.

As in, nerdy/average looking white guy with some money dates a golddigging asian 7 and rates her 14/10 because she's NOT fat, doesn't have tattoos or turquoise/purple hair. They are not a looks match which is why he's so insecure and over-analyzing everything with the fervor of a conspiracy theorist inspecting a newfound spec on a zapruder frame of the JFK assassination.

She is dissatisfied because he's not as good looking as she can get, but he has more money than she can walk away from without second guessing herself at least a little bit.

Basically, she's saying, keep the cash flowin' or else she'll walk at the drop of a hat. Hence the "five day vacation." Doubt they're going dutch on that one.
 

Bokanovsky

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Unfortunately, it is true that nearly all good looking women have orbiters/"male friends". Unless she is seriously anti-social, it is going to be pretty hard for her not to have orbiters. Attractive women have fools buying them gifts, running errands for them, taking them out for brunch to nice restaurants, etc. They do all that while typically getting nothing sexual in return. I say typically because there are always exceptions. A male friend could become a lover, even though it happens rarely. But it does happen and you cannot entirely eliminate that risk.

So how do you deal with this? Simple. One, you accept the fact that nothing in life is entirely risk free. And two, you must have enough confidence in yourself to know that you could always find a replacement in case things go south with this particular girl.
 

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Pandora

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We've all been there, the woman with male friends. It's a battle that I've never seen anyone win. Since my twenties with my 9 and 10 gf's they always had male orbiters, besties, etc. Trying to cut them out has never worked. Some became an issue, but largely in hindsight, because of the girl (IMO).

My new gf is Asian, for some reason I trust her in a way I've never trusted any woman. It took longer to bed her, she has a low body count despite her 10 looks, etc. I even told her my boundaries and that I have no problem if she goes out for drinks with the girls, etc. Which she did, and got hit on all night. I didn't think for a second that she did anything, and we talked about it more later when talking about boundaries, and she got really curious and interested to know what my boundaries are, which basically I told her, if you wouldn't do it in front of me, don't do it behind my back. She said she has the same boundary. I told her it wasn't even a question in my mind that she didn't give out her number, and she said I didn't, I said I know, hence why I never asked, I trust her until she gives me a reason not to trust her.

So we're laying in bed one Sunday and she always tries to ask me about my past relationships, and tells me about some of hers. She mentioned that her ex husband was controlling and jealous of her male friends to me a couple other times and rolled her eyes about it. But last Sunday she told me about a past relationship that made me wonder a littler later in the week. Her male best friend eventually pursued her romantically. Because they knew each other well already, after three months of dating, they got engaged when he proposed. She said yes. Then the dudes ex gf showed up to her house 3 months pregnant and told her she was in love with the guy and what is she going to do with this baby alone, etc. So she broke it off with the dude and told him to go marry her, which he did and they are still married she told me.

My thing is, the battle of male orbiters and getting rid of them can never be won. Even if you do win, unless she's locked in a room she will always get hit on. If she is happy and a good woman, she won't entertain anything WHILE she is with you.

The thing I wonder, is should I even bring this up with her and is there a way of doing it without sounding like her jealous or controlling ex husband? I was thinking of saying so your ex husband was jealous and controlling about your guy friends, but you DID date and almost marry your male best friend at one point before you had met him, so your male friends are technically an option for you....no?

I honestly DO NOT worry about her. I know she has lot's of guys constantly pursuing her. Even after our first date when she called me about dating exclusively (she's Asian, traditional) she mentioned to me on our second date that a guy with a private jet she had given her number out before meeting me was ready to fly to meet her and she told him she is seeing someone right now (me). When she comes over Friday night and spends the night, she texts me and invites me over a few hours after getting home Saturday (two weeks in a row now) and I leave Sunday. I see the same dudes show up on her phone calling her 50 times while she is showing me a video, etc. (almost as if she has a friend calling on purpose to see how I react lol) and she ignores them. To me, it's clearly a male friend (or a friend playing along to test how I react) and you know what? I didn't even sweat it, you know why? Because she drove out of her way to MY place to bang me, then invited me over to her place for dinner the next day and we banged again, and she even made me breakfast the next morning.

So SHOULD I even bring up the male friend situation of her past at all or maybe wait until there is a legitimate issue with a male friend and bring it up as, well you say that they are male friends, but you DID date a male friend in the past....
Bro she smashed atleast one of those male " friends" before. Trust me man. I been on both sides of this coin. I been the man that shakes the hand and shares a beer with the new bf. I also most likely have shaken the hand of a guy that smashed my girl.

Never ever let her know it effects you. Indifference is key. I know its difficult. Trying to control her in any way will backfire. She is addicted to the male validation. You ever try to get some one off herion? Yeh, its the same thing.

She will not be with you for the long haul. Enjoy it while it lasts. Have fun with that nice body. Savor the good times. Its just your turn. She will be back to the streets eventually bro. We all been there.
 

Pandora

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In my humble opinion. If you as a grown man above the age of 25 have to come to SoSuave and make a post about a woman and a lengthy one at that then your real problem
Is “Inner Game”.

You’re so invested into this woman that you’re now playing “defend the lines at all cost”. You can stroke your ego as much as you like but you’ve already started to lose the frame and are looking for help to gain it back.

The way the world works is that as a man you should be putting your life and your life goals ahead of everything else. After that comes family (that’s if you had a good relationship with your folks) after that it’s your neat friends be they male or female. After that cultivate some serious hobbies that require dedication and time to perfect and enjoy. Once at this point should you really look into dating anyone seriously as now you have a wide array of “safety nets” to protect your heart if things go south.

At this point in life it is when you should be spinning plates even if it’s only 2 or 3 women but be willing to drop them at a moments notice. You NEED to be seen as the higher SMV person in the relationship (casual or serious).

If you are seen as a notch or 3 higher than her (in her eyes not your endeared ego’s sense of worth) then there will never ever be a question of “making time for you” “talking about orbiters or friends” “talking about the ex”. She will work 10x harder to be seen as the “woman you should marry because I’m perfect and good”.

They will delete the numbers of male orbiters off their phone. They will stop going out on “girls night outs”. They will do everything in their power not to lose you.

It may sound controlling BUT if you’re seen as “the catch” trust me the behaviour will be very different and the women will behave like an AFC trying to get you to commit.

Now if you’re a stable self made fit healthy man with options in every aspect of his life. This becomes second nature and you won’t have to think about or worry about much. If things work awesome if they don’t you’ve got enough going on that you won’t drop into a slump.

Instead of focusing on the small issues build a lifestyle that supports your health and wellbeing first and suddenly everything falls into place ...... regardless of how much “game” you have or how attractive the woman is.
Facts 100%. You can only keep her in line ( temporarily) if you are legit 3 notches above her in SMV. Even then she will still eventually do something silly. Relationships with hot women in 2021+ is over. Thing of the past. Let it go men.
 

Pandora

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So using that logic everyone here has inner game issues for asking any questions. Got it....I'm about to turn 40, have many hobbies and friends, an executive career and a portfolio of multiple rental properties. You somehow turned a single question about whether I should bring up the topic to me needing a life which I already have, which has nothing to do with the topic at hand....whether I should bring it up.

It came up in conversation, I mentioned it, she said she can see how I would think that but what she said after that made it an instant non issue for me.
We know you are high value. We are just trying to help. You need to emotionally start to prepare for the inevitability of her doing some crazy stuff ( cheating or leaving) in the future.

The best course of action is to treat her as if you were dating an ugly fat chick. Would you care if she had dudes in her phone? No. Because deep down you know that you are better than the ugly fat chick. You are semi indifferent. This is the same way we gotta treat the hot chicks. Its easier said than done. Ive done it by accident before and it works.
 

joesbigship

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Bro she smashed atleast one of those male " friends" before. Trust me man. I been on both sides of this coin. I been the man that shakes the hand and shares a beer with the new bf. I also most likely have shaken the hand of a guy that smashed my girl.

Never ever let her know it effects you. Indifference is key. I know its difficult. Trying to control her in any way will backfire. She is addicted to the male validation. You ever try to get some one off herion? Yeh, its the same thing.

She will not be with you for the long haul. Enjoy it while it lasts. Have fun with that nice body. Savor the good times. Its just your turn. She will be back to the streets eventually bro. We all been there.
The underlying problem here is his yellow fever. It is absolutely crazy how white guys can no longer think straight around any asian female.

Missouri's got it bad, but biggoal may have it worse. He literally posted a photo of an asian chick whose head looked like a pumpkin as "superhot." Out of politeness I rated her a 6 but she could have legitimately been rated a 4 without any exaggeration.

Missouri's '10' is probably more like a 7, maybe even a 6. At his age, with his mediocre looks, the way he worships her, I am 100% certain she's going to play his ass like a fiddle.

The guy barely knows her and says they're going on a "honeymoon!" WT actual F?!?
 

Bokanovsky

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The underlying problem here is his yellow fever. It is absolutely crazy how white guys can no longer think straight around any asian female.

Missouri's got it bad, but biggoal may have it worse. He literally posted a photo of an asian chick whose head looked like a pumpkin as "superhot." Out of politeness I rated her a 6 but she could have legitimately been rated a 4 without any exaggeration.

Missouri's '10' is probably more like a 7, maybe even a 6. At his age, with his mediocre looks, the way he worships her, I am 100% certain she's going to play his ass like a fiddle.

The guy barely knows her and says they're going on a "honeymoon!" WT actual F?!?
I don't understand the whole yellow fever thing either. I am white and I find that the vast majority of asian females are not particularly attractive. Granted, most white females in America are also unattractive (largely due to obesity), but that is a separate issue.
 

Pandora

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I don't understand the whole yellow fever thing either. I am white and I find that the vast majority of asian females are not particularly attractive. Granted, most white females in America are also unattractive (largely due to obesity), but that is a separate issue.
Its because average Asian girls simp hard for white guys. Some aspects of Asian culture puts whites on a pedestal. So an average Asian female can date up, and a white dude can also date up. Its a match made in Heaven.
 

Bokanovsky

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Its because average Asian girls simp hard for white guys. Some aspects of Asian culture puts whites on a pedestal. So an average Asian female can date up, and a white dude can also date up. Its a match made in Heaven.
But is that true of asian girls who live in the West?
 

Pandora

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But is that true of asian girls who live in the West?
yes very true. Affluent Asian American culture wants to badly assimilate with waspy white society. This is why Asian guys have a hard time competing against white dudes in America.
 

joesbigship

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This is the guy who thinks tinder is a prostitution app lol. In reality, it's 90% guys and 10% porn bots.
 

Pandora

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This is the guy who thinks tinder is a prostitution app lol. In reality, it's 90% guys and 10% porn bots.
Yeh regular girls ask guys to Cash App them money for nothing on Tinder. Its common. This is called prostitution. But you are a female poster so you would not know these things.
 

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Pan87

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We've all been there, the woman with male friends. It's a battle that I've never seen anyone win. Since my twenties with my 9 and 10 gf's they always had male orbiters, besties, etc. Trying to cut them out has never worked. Some became an issue, but largely in hindsight, because of the girl (IMO).

My new gf is Asian, for some reason I trust her in a way I've never trusted any woman. It took longer to bed her, she has a low body count despite her 10 looks, etc. I even told her my boundaries and that I have no problem if she goes out for drinks with the girls, etc. Which she did, and got hit on all night. I didn't think for a second that she did anything, and we talked about it more later when talking about boundaries, and she got really curious and interested to know what my boundaries are, which basically I told her, if you wouldn't do it in front of me, don't do it behind my back. She said she has the same boundary. I told her it wasn't even a question in my mind that she didn't give out her number, and she said I didn't, I said I know, hence why I never asked, I trust her until she gives me a reason not to trust her.

So we're laying in bed one Sunday and she always tries to ask me about my past relationships, and tells me about some of hers. She mentioned that her ex husband was controlling and jealous of her male friends to me a couple other times and rolled her eyes about it. But last Sunday she told me about a past relationship that made me wonder a littler later in the week. Her male best friend eventually pursued her romantically. Because they knew each other well already, after three months of dating, they got engaged when he proposed. She said yes. Then the dudes ex gf showed up to her house 3 months pregnant and told her she was in love with the guy and what is she going to do with this baby alone, etc. So she broke it off with the dude and told him to go marry her, which he did and they are still married she told me.

My thing is, the battle of male orbiters and getting rid of them can never be won. Even if you do win, unless she's locked in a room she will always get hit on. If she is happy and a good woman, she won't entertain anything WHILE she is with you.

The thing I wonder, is should I even bring this up with her and is there a way of doing it without sounding like her jealous or controlling ex husband? I was thinking of saying so your ex husband was jealous and controlling about your guy friends, but you DID date and almost marry your male best friend at one point before you had met him, so your male friends are technically an option for you....no?

I honestly DO NOT worry about her. I know she has lot's of guys constantly pursuing her. Even after our first date when she called me about dating exclusively (she's Asian, traditional) she mentioned to me on our second date that a guy with a private jet she had given her number out before meeting me was ready to fly to meet her and she told him she is seeing someone right now (me). When she comes over Friday night and spends the night, she texts me and invites me over a few hours after getting home Saturday (two weeks in a row now) and I leave Sunday. I see the same dudes show up on her phone calling her 50 times while she is showing me a video, etc. (almost as if she has a friend calling on purpose to see how I react lol) and she ignores them. To me, it's clearly a male friend (or a friend playing along to test how I react) and you know what? I didn't even sweat it, you know why? Because she drove out of her way to MY place to bang me, then invited me over to her place for dinner the next day and we banged again, and she even made me breakfast the next morning.

So SHOULD I even bring up the male friend situation of her past at all or maybe wait until there is a legitimate issue with a male friend and bring it up as, well you say that they are male friends, but you DID date a male friend in the past....
You've been seduced by the myth of the pure "low notch" oriental princess.

Careful man. Keep both eyes open. I see guys fall for this sh1t all the time.

There are billions of asians. Some of them must be having sex surely. They can't all be virgins as some of the sexpats on this forum keep claiming.
 

joesbigship

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This guy has been dropped so many times on his head he can't even think straight. He literally thinks tinder is a prostitution app and that a random crackhead and onlyfans skanks are representative of all women.

There's no way his smv is above 5/10. There's no way to pull hot girls when you are a mediocre or below average male.
 

metalwater

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In my humble opinion. If you as a grown man above the age of 25 have to come to SoSuave and make a post about a woman and a lengthy one at that then your real problem
Is “Inner Game”.

You’re so invested into this woman that you’re now playing “defend the lines at all cost”. You can stroke your ego as much as you like but you’ve already started to lose the frame and are looking for help to gain it back.

The way the world works is that as a man you should be putting your life and your life goals ahead of everything else. After that comes family (that’s if you had a good relationship with your folks) after that it’s your neat friends be they male or female. After that cultivate some serious hobbies that require dedication and time to perfect and enjoy. Once at this point should you really look into dating anyone seriously as now you have a wide array of “safety nets” to protect your heart if things go south.

At this point in life it is when you should be spinning plates even if it’s only 2 or 3 women but be willing to drop them at a moments notice. You NEED to be seen as the higher SMV person in the relationship (casual or serious).

If you are seen as a notch or 3 higher than her (in her eyes not your endeared ego’s sense of worth) then there will never ever be a question of “making time for you” “talking about orbiters or friends” “talking about the ex”. She will work 10x harder to be seen as the “woman you should marry because I’m perfect and good”.

They will delete the numbers of male orbiters off their phone. They will stop going out on “girls night outs”. They will do everything in their power not to lose you.

It may sound controlling BUT if you’re seen as “the catch” trust me the behaviour will be very different and the women will behave like an AFC trying to get you to commit.

Now if you’re a stable self made fit healthy man with options in every aspect of his life. This becomes second nature and you won’t have to think about or worry about much. If things work awesome if they don’t you’ve got enough going on that you won’t drop into a slump.

Instead of focusing on the small issues build a lifestyle that supports your health and wellbeing first and suddenly everything falls into place ...... regardless of how much “game” you have or how attractive the woman is.
how to teach this to others in a way they can hear. and then how can they learn it.

this is 101 percent correct. it's the same as telling only deal with very high-interest women.

depending on where a man is, affects how things are heard.

it is a skill of great value to know how to present in a way that the other can get value from.

=
results justify actions.
=
 

joesbigship

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White males tend to inflate asian female hb ratings by at least 3 points. That's a conservative estimate and it's very often 4 points.

An asian female 6 or 7 typically rates a 9 or 10 to white guys especially if they have asian fever.

In such a case you can't really blame asian females for fleecing these dumb white dudes out of every cent they've got. Either that, or they toy with these guys emotionally and leave them emotionally wrecked.

Missouri looks like he's falling into the both trap even though either/or is bad enough.
 
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