"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Should I bother asking her to join me? Girl in my class + assignment

seabumma

Don Juan
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Please read this, I know its kind of long.

Me and this girl have gotten to know each other in one of my college classes. She and I were group members on assignments and we sit next to each other. Got her phone number the first day of class too. We have sent texts to each other, but they are mostly initiated due to class stuff.

We have a field trip assignment that we have to individually go and do (the place we go is our decision) and then we have to do a little write up on it. Anyways, last class when she was looking at her syllabus I asked her what we had coming up as far as assignments due. We looked over the syllabus together and noticed the field trip thing which is due 2 weeks from now. I decide to say "hey, we should do this together". She responded with "Yea, we should!", sounding excited. I then mention that I am free either this weekend or the next. She says "ohhh weekends..hmm I have so much going on with work and stuff, I also did visit the science center a few weeks ago so i might be able to just write about that, but ill ask the professor first...weekends are just so hard with my work schedule and stuff lately".

At the end of class she gets up and talks to the professor and then comes back to me. She says the professor says it's alright for her to do the assignment on her science center trip. I go on to say, "Well if you'd like to still come along with me, send me a text or something. I'm going to such and such museum". She says "Actually can you send me a text before you go and if I am free ill come with you??" I tell her that I'll send her a text before going to check if she'd like to come along...but she then says "but please don't wait up for me if I am not able to make it..I don't want to mess up your schedule". I end the conversation with "I tell you what, if you decide to come along, we can also go have lunch at my cousin's restaurant (popular place). Free food! haha". She responds with "ohhhh I like food! Thanks [my name]!!". I tell her once more that ill text her.

So my question is, has she already silently rejected me? Should i text her today and ask if she'd like to come along tomorrow? Or should I wait till next weekend? I don't want to pressure her into hanging out, since that's not my style. Another thing is, I did notice when looking over her shoulder that she had "Alexis birthday!!" written down in her planner for tomorrow (or maybe it was today if I didn't see correctly) (NO STALKER).

If I do text I was thinking of sending this:

Hi [name], just checking to see if you'd like to join me on my little field trip adventure tomorrow afternoon haha. Well let me know, if I don't go tomm, then I'll be going next weekend for sure.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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coolness89

Don Juan
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after reading your post, she looks at you more as a friend. More fishes in the sea bro...get fishing
 

seabumma

Don Juan
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Captain said:
Stop texting.

Call.
I dont know what it is with girls who are ~20 years of age. they seem to prefer texting.

I tried calling her once but it went to her voice mail, and she ended up texting me the next day apologizing not calling back.

Another time we had to meet up to do a group assignment, and the night before she sent me a text asking me if its ok for her to call me tomorrow to see where I was on campus...

maybe she is phone shy, I don't know, but texting seems to be her preference...I have no problem calling.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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seabumma

Don Juan
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I sent her a text yesterday and she responded this morning saying:

"hey seabumma, thank you for the invite, but I already have plans for today. Good luck though!"

should I bother responding? I was thinking:

"Hey, no problem. Had change of plans on my side anyways. Have a nice day :)"

I do not plan on going to the museum today as some family plans ended up coming up in the morning.
 

nicelife

Don Juan
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na dont even reply man.. she doesnt sound very interested

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