Should I be caring, or cold and distansed?

[der_meister]

This maybe be a ``noob´´ dilemma, but anyway

The problem:

I have never managed to keep a girl as my girlfriend (Im 25years old). I have dated and screwed, not many, but still a few (at least according to myself) considerably good-looking women.

But the constantly returning problem is that I NEVER manage to make them stay with me. The situation always slipps out of my hands, out of my control. The sequence of events has almost always been the same. After a short period of dating, she starts giving imbecill excuses (lies..) of why she cannot see me anymore. You know the usual yadda-yadda consisting of ´´I need my time etc´´. All those times, she has shortly afterwards started to meet (and sleep with) other guys. Ergo, I feel like a real bigtime-looser.

The problem partly, I have guessed, is beacause I always get TO EXCITED when I get a nice girl to sleep with me. I get overly-enthusiastic and, start to be wery varm and caring. Giving her many compliments, often holding her hand and try to be a reaaally nice guy overall. And maybe to much so considering the constant outcome.

So my question(s) is:
Is it better to be a little bit cold and unimpressed by her prescense? Is it better not to care so much about how she feels? Instead of being very present, upthight and caring, is it better to be casual and uncaring?
The thing maybe that a better method of pleasing women, is to not TRY and please them all the time?

regards der Meister

 

[woods]

you have a lot of reading up to do. you're in the right place. Dont be her puppy dog, she can get one of those at the pound. You are being clingy and needy. The two biggest turnoffs there are. Women want there emotions stirred, not worshipped. You're better off picking a fight with them the next day, than being RREEEAALLLYYY nice. Try getting with a chick that you really dont like at all. Thats how you need to act to the ones you do, to a certain extent.
All I know, is that you have a LONG road ahead of you, so read and reread every thread in this forum. After that, keep forcing yourself to be a man and not a needy, cilngy wuss. Good luck to you.

 

[bigjohnson]

Basically you gave her what said she wanted, only she doesn't really know what she wants. It's the reason relationships in the western world are so screwed up.

Browse around.