"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should I ask her to be my gf?

dontknowbouthat

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
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Early in October, my buddy got me involved with a group of his friends who he'd been wanting me to chill with for a while. Before this I had hung with a few of them, but never at an actual party.

So at this party, my buddy told me that a girl whom I knew from school wanted to hook up with me. So I took her upstairs, and we fooled around for a while. Anyway, I left the party after this was over.

For a week after this hookup, I didn't think much of the girl, but since I was now beginning to hang with her group of friends, I saw her often, and whenever we were together at a party or gathering, we acted as if we were a couple.

About three weeks after the hookup, we began to hang out by ourselves. For example, we get dinner and go to each others' houses regularly.

So, now it's been about 6 weeks since the initial hookup and I've never once brought up the idea of becoming an official couple, because I never saw any need to. After browsing this site for a while it seems the general consensus is that bf/gf conversations should be initiated by the girl, not the guy.

So my question is, should I make it official, or just let things continue the way they are?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
702
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Location
Cloud 9
Go for what you want.
Don't ASK her though.
Say something like: "I want us to be exclusive."

When I say go for what you want, I mean tell her what you want, and don't ask her.
You could ask her to be your girlfriend and you two become exclusive, but this gives away a portion of your power.
It makes HER the selector. YOU want to be the selector.

Whatever you say, it must begin with "I want," NOT "Do you want" or anything alike.
 

Analyzeit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
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342
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Location
Auckland, New Zeland
Try like bring it up when your alone or something

she could easily be waiting for you to say something

try mention it, try pull it out of her but don't go in and just straight up ask
 

LesaneCrooks

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 13, 2005
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Do you want her to be your girlfriend, really? Honestly, there is nothing you will gain from that title, and a lot you will lose. The ability to honestly go after other chicks without guilt? Gone. The ability to do what you want to do without her nagging you about sh_t? Gone. Oh yeah, you will gain the right to pay for a lot of the useless crap she supposedly needs. Enjoy getting the rewards without the responsibility while it lasts, because there's nothing beneficial about the BF title, especially at your age.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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