Should hubby not ask wifey to do things she used to do with prior lovers?

[skinnyguy]

The way I read it is that she most likely didn't want to do those things with her past lovers, but she suppressed her honest feelings in favor of him, and participated.

Now she has decided to be healthy, and completely honest, and not do things in the bedroom that she doesn't want to.

If she didn't want to participate in these acts in the past, and she's decided to honor her truth, why would he pressure her to do things that she found sexually uncomfortable?

That's a man who is being selfish, not a man who really cares about her feelings. If he feels that strongly that she needs to be more sexually adventurous then he should dump her due to incompatibility.

If he continues to press her to perform sexually in a manner that she is not comfortable, then she should dump him due to incompatibility.

Nobody is wrong here. If people would get TOTALLY HONEST about compatibility they would waste less time and not ake things personally.

I didn’t read anything that indicated she got forced to do sex sh*t with other guys. Am I missing something?

If anything he should be the one dumping her first, cause she did nasty stuff with ex lovers and clearly isn’t as invested in this guy.

 

[marmel75]

I am not a fan of anal, so I think I would find it difficult to continue with a woman who had done anal.

Then i guess you shoukd go become a monk because 90% of them have if they tell you or don't.

 

[EyeBRollin]

A relationship where she was a freak with others but not the husband is a fail.

Sounds like a strawman argument.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sounds like a strawman argument.

I don't care what it's called, its' bad energy. It's not a good thing dude. Not at all.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Or, she wanted to do those things with those guys but not with her beta "partner." Really shouldn't be up to the guy to distinguish.

What a recipe for success and happiness

 

[R.U.G.]

She's done having fun. Sex to her nowadays is only for procreation. Once the kiddies are out or she's not ovulating, then the orifices are closed.

 

[Macaframalama]

Sooo... Girl tries something in the past, that she is curious about and thinks she may be into, but finds out it's not all cracked up to be like she might have thought and doesn't like it, buuutttt she should be forced to engage in it in the present to appease her new mans frail ego. Lol. Ridiculous!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sooo... Girl tries something in the past, that she is curious about and thinks she may be into, but finds out it's not all cracked up to be like she might have thought and doesn't like it, buuutttt she should be forced to engage in it in the present to appease her new mans frail ego. Lol. Ridiculous!

We're not saying she "tried" and gave up . She tried and enjoyed doing that for folks she was into . Now she secured a dude that love her and she wants to offer a very limited course selection. Removing items she'd do with folks she like enough .

 

[Macaframalama]

We're not saying she "tried" and gave up . She tried and enjoyed doing that for folks she was into . Now she secured a dude that love her and she wants to offer a very limited course selection. Removing items she'd do with folks she like enough .

Where, in the article does it say she enjoyed it? Regardless, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like it now. Would you expect to be manipulated into doing something for a current female, that you engaged in with a past female, even though you didn't want to do it? If it's that big of a deal, there are literally millions of other women out there.

 

[AJ84]

Where, in the article does it say she enjoyed it? Regardless, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like it now. Would you expect to be manipulated into doing something for a current female, that you engaged in with a past female, even though you didn't want to do it? If it's that big of a deal, there are literally millions of other women out there.

Lol spot on. Because being guilted into doing sexual stuff you really don't enjoy is how not to have a sexual connection. Most of the sexual stuff we discover we don't like is from trying it at least once. Maybe some guys here had a girl put her finger up his butt, decided it wasn't his thing, now his current girl is guilting him into letting her do it because well he let his ex do it?

Such whining.

Again, this is why it's best not to bring up sexual stuff unless it's stuff you want to do and that conversation doesn't have to start with, " my ex and I used to..." It should just be, " Can we try..?"

 

[R.U.G.]

No one should be forced, but if the woman has been doing anal for years and did so with you during your dating stage, then all of a sudden stopped, WTF? Or, you were having morning sex for years, then all of a sudden, I really do not life morning sex... LOL.

 

[Macaframalama]

Not that it matters, but there's some context missing here or maybe my browser isn't loading the same article everyone else has read. I missed the details about anal sex, morning sex, her liking it and for how long. If we are just assuming, let's assume, that those "things" might have been FFM threesoms or MMF threesoms or pegging, pi$$ play or some other wild chit. What then?

 

[highSpeed]

Lol spot on. Because being guilted into doing sexual stuff you really don't enjoy is how not to have a sexual connection. Most of the sexual stuff we discover we don't like is from trying it at least once. Maybe some guys here had a girl put her finger up his butt, decided it wasn't his thing, now his current girl is guilting him into letting her do it because well he let his ex do it?

Such whining.

Again, this is why it's best not to bring up sexual stuff unless it's stuff you want to do and that conversation doesn't have to start with, " my ex and I used to..." It should just be, " Can we try..?"

So assuming that it's something she has done on numerous occasions but now all of a sudden doesn't like anymore we're now to believe she doesn't like doing it and is being guilted into it? A leap of logic on that one isn't it? If I tried some nasty food I hated, I wouldn't do it multiple times and then tell someone else I don't like it. I would try it once and be done with it, that doesn't sound like this situation. This sounds an awful lot like someone who, for some reason, got prudish as it relates to sex. Perhaps he should get prudish as it relates to his pocketbook. I wonder how well it would go over if he got her some cheap gift on her birthday. Gee, I used to buy all my other girlfriends expensive gifts on their birthdays but now I don't like doing that.

 

[R.U.G.]

Not that it matters, but there's some context missing here or maybe my browser isn't loading the same article everyone else has read. I missed the details about anal sex, morning sex, her liking it and for how long. If we are just assuming, let's assume, that those "things" might have been FFM threesoms or MMF threesoms or pegging, pi$$ play or some other wild chit. What then?

A women who's having "fun" is looking for a different guy than a woman she wants to "settle down" with. It hurts when I hear it, but women have told me I am more of the type of guy to have fun with than settle down. Still stings. Not that I'd ever marry again. Once per lifetime.... Rather 86 myself that do that stupid sh!t again.

 

[Macaframalama]

So assuming that it's something she has done on numerous occasions but now all of a sudden doesn't like anymore we're now to believe she doesn't like doing it and is being guilted into it? A leap of logic on that one isn't it? If I tried some nasty food I hated, I wouldn't do it multiple times and then tell someone else I don't like it. I would try it once and be done with it, that doesn't sound like this situation. This sounds an awful lot like someone who, for some reason, got prudish as it relates to sex. Perhaps he should get prudish as it relates to his pocketbook. I wonder how well it would go over if he got her some cheap gift on her birthday. Gee, I used to buy all my other girlfriends expensive gifts on their birthdays but now I don't like doing that.

Lots of assuming going on in this thread. Let's go with what we all do know and look at it from a different perspective. The typical guy that comes to this site looking for help has been doing things for and to try woo the opposite sex for probably his whole life, because he thinks it will make her happy and she will want to be with him. They come here with zero frame, nor have ever even heard of the concept. We've all probably been that way at one point in our lives. Allot of us don't even know who we are or where we want to be in our early 20's, but some of the guys here are able to cultivate their standards and principles and literally become a new man. Are we saying women can't do this too?

A women who's having "fun" is looking for a different guy than a woman she wants to "settle down" with.

More assuming. Assuming that a man can't be both.

 

[R.U.G.]

More assuming. Assuming that a man can't be both.

When you assume, you make an a-s-s out of you and me. My post was not based of assumption my friend, it was based of live experience with my ex-wife. She's an ex for a reason... Well, a few of them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Where, in the article does it say she enjoyed it? Regardless, it doesn't matter. She doesn't like it now. Would you expect to be manipulated into doing something for a current female, that you engaged in with a past female, even though you didn't want to do it? If it's that big of a deal, there are literally millions of other women out there.

I finally received the article . It seems the act was something she tried but didn't like. It was stressing her out.

 

[AJ84]

So assuming that it's something she has done on numerous occasions but now all of a sudden doesn't like anymore we're now to believe she doesn't like doing it and is being guilted into it? A leap of logic on that one isn't it? If I tried some nasty food I hated, I wouldn't do it multiple times and then tell someone else I don't like it. I would try it once and be done with it, that doesn't sound like this situation. This sounds an awful lot like someone who, for some reason, got prudish as it relates to sex. Perhaps he should get prudish as it relates to his pocketbook. I wonder how well it would go over if he got her some cheap gift on her birthday. Gee, I used to buy all my other girlfriends expensive gifts on their birthdays but now I don't like doing that.

In the link, she stated that he is mad because she won't try something with him she did with something else. That's all she said about it. We don't know if it was a one time thing she tried, or tried it and enjoyed it numerous times.

Assuming she tried it and enjoyed it numerous times, she, like most women who like sex, would likely want to to it again with another guy she liked. If she didn't, she's the exception, most women do not stop doing sexually enjoyable things unless they no longer like the guy or there is some other issues going on in the relationship or a health problem.

The fact that she doesn't want to do it is implying that perhaps it's not something she liked.

 

[sazc]

Or, she wanted to do those things with those guys but not with her beta "partner." Really shouldn't be up to the guy to distinguish.

My guess is that they were having a normal exploratory conversation about "what have you done sexually before" (we all have them) and she, following her "honesty" policy told him the truth and, at some point, also told him she decided she didn't like "whatever it was" or decided she wasn't into "whatever it was" and expected the man she was dating to care more about respecting her feelings than getting his sexual fantasies fulfilled.

Now, from what she was saying, her honesty has become aweapon for him. A means for him to inflict guilt and threats on her. From what she says, he is trying to emotionally blackmail her (force) her into sexual situations she has already said no too.

Do I believe she danced around singing "la la la la la la I did this sexually with these guys but not with yoooouuuu la la la la la la"

No. But anything is possible. Maybe she is using it as a tool to fvck with him. Who knows.

In the sanes woman's world, we do try things sexually. Some of them were like, some of them we don't like. If we are honest about what we tried, and honest about what our limits are now, we expect a loving partner to respect our boundaries. Sane women don't use sex as a weapon.

If sex is being used as a weapon it's time to extracate

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So, we can go down the list.

What if she was talking about BJs?

What if she was talking about threesomes?

Anal
Swallowing
Dressing up in lingerie
Bathing a dude
Massages