"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Should a guy pay on the first date? (Poll)

Should a guy pay for the first date?

  • yes

    Votes: 43 55.8%
  • no

    Votes: 34 44.2%

  • Total voters
    77

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Crank_It_Up

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Originally posted by Maxtro
I think I read about it here or at Fast Seduction and also in several seduction eBooks I've read.

Spending a lot of money on her is not going to get her to sleep with you. It may even have the opposite effect and she might hold off on sex because she sees you as a long term guy.
the question was not a lot of money but just the first date, to which you said you shouldn't even have a date until after you've had sex

I wanna know where did you get the idea you should have sex before you even ask her out?
 

Maxtro

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By all means ask her out, but not for the traditional formal dates like dinner plus a movie where you pay for everything. Those should be saved for girls that you are already sleeping with and only have those dates on occasion.

For the girls you haven't had sex with yet. Go out for lunch; get together for drinks or coffee. Do action dates like miniature golf or bowling, I'm not sure about paying for those though.

Just to make myself clear; buying her a fancy dinner and taking her to a movie is a no no. It will not get you sex and may even cause her to hold off on sex because she will now see you as a provider. The kind of guy she would marry.
 

Crank_It_Up

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ok, now I see what you're saying, dates are ok before sex, just not expensive dates. That makes a lot more sense than not asking for any date before sex.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I_Only_Live_Once

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yeah I think so
 

\O/

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I normally pay when I go on dates. However I do it in a very natural way. If you are in control and take the lead, paying will seem very natural and she won't feel like you are "buying her time".

When I invite girls on dates, I usually just tell them when and where to meet me. When they ask what we are going to do, I tell them "We'll see". Then I normally take them on action-dates. It would feel totally wrong if I should expect her to pay for herself when she hasn't even "agreed" on doing that thing. I do stuff I like and have fun with, and I take them with me. Paying for them is a given in my opinion.

After the "action-date" I usually take them to a cafè or bar. Here i let her pay for herself. I sometimes offer to pay, but most of the time they insist on paying for themselves...

It's all situation-dependant. My general rule is, If i invite her, I pay. If we decide to do something together, we both pay.
 

iCY

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do not waste your energy trying to argue on this topic lol
it varies. do what you want and what works for you.

but remember, if your game is tight enough, you can even get her to pay
 

PRMoon

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Originally posted by Maxtro
I heard that if you invite a girl out to drinks or coffee, you should offer to pay. As for a real eveing date the guy should pay. But, you shouldn't be going on dates untill after you've had sex with her.
I concur. Drinks and everything are okay but unless there's some physical connection from the get go then there's no way I'm dropping change.

I think my old room mate's pimp of an uncle told us this and we've stuck to it ever since. Seems kind of stiff and un reasonable but everybody needs tules to live by.
 
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