"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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She's starting to try contact..

Trance

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Some of you guys may have read my full story that i posted like 1 week ago here. I was with her 3 years, i had broke up with her twice and wanted no more, and she managed to get me back by sex. Eventually she made me really like her in the final part of the relation, but still many discussions and we decided to give a time 3 months ago. During that month she was seeing other guy. After that, we started again, i was enjoying her, but she was thinking of ending it, and so we ended up 1 month ago. I was AFC for like 2 or 3 weeks, she started dating the same guy like 2 weeks ago. I was going jealous and doing the usual AFC kind of stuff, a lot of questions, trying to be with her, being a bit mushy. Of course that she barelly answered at msn or at phone would say she would call me latter. Then i found this forum and realized the same **** happens to everyone, and i identifyed the problem and made my new goal.

So since 1 week ago i never called her again, never sent her a msg on msn nor ****. And the last 2 days she started to send small messages at msg like saying hello, im going to college now, do you know when is the deadline for paying xxx? And then at night again: Hello, everything fine? I only replyed her saying something like, "all fine", or simple "yes" or "no". She was expecting some questions about her and how she is or the guy she's dating, but im not ever gona do that **** again geee!

I still have some feelings for her cause it was a 3 year LTR, but i dont need her and i dont feel anymore any problem dealing with her, neither any need to contact her. This saturday i went for a date with this crazy girl, and it was so great, i never had so much fun with my ex.

So what i wanna ask is this: How should i deal with her msn msg's or phone call's, or any other type of contact if she starts making them? Or if i see her in the street. What's the atitude that will give me the power of being superior and banging her if i want?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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NewMan

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So what i wanna ask is this: How should i deal with her msn msg's or phone call's, or any other type of contact if she starts making them? Or if i see her in the street. What's the atitude that will give me the power of being superior and banging her if i want?


You would not be asking these questions if you were really over her - would you!!!!

If you were really over her - and ready to move on, you wouldn't feel this way - you wouldn't care what she thought - or what she was doing.

I'd keep doing what your doing. Don't call, don't email etc - and I wouldn't pick up her calls.

Talk to her (if you see her) - but don't be overly helpfull - or "Nice" - or interested in anything she's doing.

Just do your own thing - and keep her out of your sh#t.
 

Trance

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Its like i said:

Originally posted by Trance

I still have some feelings for her cause it was a 3 year LTR, but i dont need her and i dont feel anymore any problem dealing with her, neither any need to contact her. This saturday i went for a date with this crazy girl, and it was so great, i never had so much fun with my ex.

So what i wanna ask is this: How should i deal with her msn msg's or phone call's, or any other type of contact if she starts making them? Or if i see her in the street. What's the atitude that will give me the power of being superior and banging her if i want?
Its just a question of even that i dont want her back, i want her to want me back, and regret that i didnt want her. Is this a wrong atitude? Its just about ego, it would make me feel cool, she after me while im seeing other girls.
 

NatureGuy

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I like NewMan's advice. You basically
would like her back, but more on your terms.
Do as you've been doing, stay a bit cool (No
behavior suggesting insecurity or your
needing her) and create the conditions in
which she can "chase" you. She'll like you even more (you are more desirable) and those conditions will enable you to get together on a more even basis.
 

Cremasta

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Originally posted by Trance
This saturday i went for a date with this crazy girl, and it was so great, i never had so much fun with my ex...

What's the atitude that will give me the power of being superior and banging her if i want?
I don't know about banging her, that would depend on her level of jealousy over you moving on. Of course we all like to think that we can snap our fingers and have the ex gagging for it, but unless it ended relatively amicably, there isn't much chance of that.

As to feeling superior and/or having moved on, just remember that Saturday night with the crazy girl. When you see your ex the next time, just think to yourself "I can do better, I have had better!". That's all it needs.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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