"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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She's moving in with me

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randalljohnson

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I just wanted to drop in to post this update for everybody who is familiar with me and my previous posts about my girlfriend and the worries that I had due to her questionable (mostly online) behavior and her dysfunctional past:

It's now been just shy of a year that we've been together, and she has decided to take the plunge to move in with me. She's uprooting herself and her child, and is moving 40 miles across state lines to live with me and my child. I'm honestly surprised she took that plunge, considering all the friends she's made and her kid has made. All the connections she had where she lived.I'm also a bit surprise because I didn't know if this would be possible due to legal reasons with her kids father.

Of course, I'm always open for opinions and constructive criticism. If there's still naysayers that believe our relationship won't pan out. Or people who believe that "she'll marry me for my resources." Or she'll "monkey branch because it's in her DNA to be promiscuous." Anything that you guys want to throw at me, I always have an open ear and I don't mind being challenged by you guys.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trump

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I just wanted to drop in to post this update for everybody who is familiar with me and my previous posts about my girlfriend and the worries that I had due to her questionable (mostly online) behavior and her dysfunctional past:

It's now been just shy of a year that we've been together, and she has decided to take the plunge to move in with me. She's uprooting herself and her child, and is moving 40 miles across state lines to live with me and my child. I'm honestly surprised she took that plunge, considering all the friends she's made and her kid has made. All the connections she had where she lived.I'm also a bit surprise because I didn't know if this would be possible due to legal reasons with her kids father.

Of course, I'm always open for opinions and constructive criticism. If there's still naysayers that believe our relationship won't pan out. Or people who believe that "she'll marry me for my resources." Or she'll "monkey branch because it's in her DNA to be promiscuous." Anything that you guys want to throw at me, I always have an open ear and I don't mind being challenged by you guys.
Who said we will challenge you? It may be good idea to have said woman and her child physically move in with you.

Frankly, a slut; or divorced; or even older woman is better. Heck, even a bit overweight beats a woman with a kid. Something about a woman having a kid really really turns me off.
 

HoneyHitter

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Don't let her decide the course of YOUR life! Stay on the wheel!

How does SHE decide to move in with you? She's not doing you any favor! Stop and think for a minute: what would YOU gain from letting her move in? More, better intimacy? With TWO kids around the house? Not a chance.
 

bigneil

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girlfriend that had questionable behavior and dysfunctional past decided uprooting herself and child is moving to live with me and my child.
Keywords highlighted.

I hope it works out. You will need to find a way to give her space and get space and that won't be easy. You'll be on babysitter duty most of the time. You better put her to work earning her stay there, from the start.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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