Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Shes asked her ex to fix her car?

d2j

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2006
Messages
82
Reaction score
1
Been with her for nearly a year and its going great, i keep her extremely attracted, as you should.

The other day there was a problem with her car and i knew it was anything major so i said just leave it until u get a better car, as shes not having it for long.

Meet tonight and she said "i got my friend to look at it and its some minor problem".

I asked who looked at it and she said her ex and hes going to fix it.

i went a bit quite and she said "i hope you havnt got the wrong idea" and later i said "how comes u didnt take it to a machanic?" she said "im only getting him to do it because its 4 free.

i found a SAVED txt on her fone from bout 5 months ago saying "u and ur mates lookd fit the other night"

She also got a lift home from a nightclub from him bout 5 months ago..

and also, she said she that she texted him to ask if he would look at the car. BUT theres no messages to him on her fone. shes been deleting her messages and just leaving her gfs texts on there.

Am i just being a wuss about this ?

Or is it possible that shes doing the two time.. or is open to it with her ex?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Could you have fixed it?
 

d2j

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2006
Messages
82
Reaction score
1
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Could you have fixed it?
I guees i know a few people but i don't want her to think that im tryin to stop her seeing him because im jealous

what would you do?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
d2j said:
I guees i know a few people
I take that as a no...
d2j said:
but i don't want her to think that im tryin to stop her seeing him because im jealous
Too late.
d2j said:
what would you do?
Stop obsessing over it, it's not helping one bit and is probably making things worse.
 

Teflon_Mcgee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
918
Reaction score
27
There are two ways to look at it.

1: This dude spent a few hours busting knuckles and getting dirty while your chick sat and thought about whatever stupid sh!t chicks think about and you chilled.

At the end of the day he was dirty, the car was fixed for free, and you screwed your girl.

Or...

2: Well, the way you're looking at it now.

Now for my humble opinion. The chances she's two timing with him are most likely slim to none. That being said, I find it innappropriate for a girl in an LTR to do such things.

That's either her man's job or a proffesional's job (assuming no family or family like friends.)

I wouldn't ask an ex to come over and cook or clean for me because my girl was busy.

It's just an issue of respect for my role as a man and her role as a woman
(this is assuming a commited LTR).

But then again, if you don't care about such things then there was no violation. Or, if you haven't made it clear as to what you will tolerate and consider appropriate then you can't put any blame on her.

Others may disagree.

To sum it up, yeah, what Fransisco said. don't obsess.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
Teflon_Mcgee said:
There are two ways to look at it.

1: This dude spent a few hours busting knuckles and getting dirty while your chick sat and thought about whatever stupid sh!t chicks think about and you chilled.

At the end of the day he was dirty, the car was fixed for free, and you screwed your girl.

Or...

2: Well, the way you're looking at it now.

Now for my humble opinion. The chances she's two timing with him are most likely slim to none. That being said, I find it innappropriate for a girl in an LTR to do such things.

That's either her man's job or a proffesional's job (assuming no family or family like friends.)

I wouldn't ask an ex to come over and cook or clean for me because my girl was busy.

It's just an issue of respect for my role as a man and her role as a woman
(this is assuming a commited LTR).

But then again, if you don't care about such things then there was no violation. Or, if you haven't made it clear as to what you will tolerate and consider appropriate then you can't put any blame on her.

Others may disagree.

To sum it up, yeah, what Fransisco said. don't obsess.
That’s it!!

Make a statement about the house work that has to be done and meals that you want and haven’t had in a while. Than invite one of your ex's over to clean and cook... See how she likes it.


:yes:
 

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
^Stereotypical?! :whistle:
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
6,366
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
i found a SAVED txt on her fone from bout 5 months ago saying "u and ur mates lookd fit the other night"

and also, she said she that she texted him to ask if he would look at the car. BUT theres no messages to him on her fone. shes been deleting her messages and just leaving her gfs texts on there.


Of course she's deleting her messages - you're going through her phone! Cut that sh!t out. He's obviously an afc anyway. Would you give rides and free mechanic work to an ex? He's going to sweat and toil over her car, then she's going to say "thanks" and go home and have sex with you. And you are jealous of this guy?
 

zerocelcius

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
924
Reaction score
2
Age
47
Location
CA
Or she is going to bang the $hit out of him and come home and tell you she has a headace! |Money|
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
6,366
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Worrying about it, showing jealousy and insecurity, and going through her phone will all make that more likely to happen.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
"That’s it!!

Make a statement about the house work that has to be done and meals that you want and haven’t had in a while. Than invite one of your ex's over to clean and cook... See how she likes it."


Exactly.

The ex shouldn't be in her life in any capacity.

Though since this was a first time offense on her part you can let it slide but just keep your eyes open.

If you feel on a deep level that she is untrustworthy then you must cut her loose before she does this to you.

You may just be insecure like a ton of posters said or your gut instinct feeling may be giving you signs to bail out of this relationship before you get stabbed in the back.

Only time will tell but yeah next time you post let us know if this is the only time she's made you feel uneasy about trusting her.
 

hbxdoode

Banned
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
73
Reaction score
0
i think you're a little bit paranoid bro... maybe she's deleting his textes because she'll know you'll be mad, maybe she's looking out for you. i'm very good friends with my ex, once its over its over. i dont think you should be worried... you should be more confident in yourself, relationship is based on trust if you dont trust her then maybe you shouldnt be with her.
 

Rudra

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 25, 2007
Messages
224
Reaction score
1
Location
Russia
Typical chick behavior.
For some reason, a lot of chicks think that their exes are some kind of service pool or catering/ driving/ whatever serving to them. So they just have to whistle. Joe, I need your car for the weekend. Jack, get me tickets for that concert please. James, change my wheels until Friday.

And a lot of guys play along with it... Just don´t sweat it.
 

Hullothere

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
63
Reaction score
1
you're a chump hbxdoode if you are still good friends with your ex - move on. I wouldn't let this behavior bother me but I also wouldn't tolerate it. Its simply disrespectful to you.

Since this is a first time offense you need to put your foot down and lay the boundries of the relationship.
 

xdreamz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 24, 2006
Messages
545
Reaction score
10
definately don't obsess over it. be your happy self but definately be a little more careful what she be doing on her freetime
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

kingwilliam

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2006
Messages
228
Reaction score
3
Age
48
Location
Nashville, TN
I have always trusted my gut instinct and I swear it has never failed me.......I suggest you think deep. I agree with those who say that its disrespectful.
 

Someone Much cooler

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 8, 2007
Messages
450
Reaction score
6
Location
East Coast
she is outta line cause if you had another woman cook for you cause she wasn't around then she would be tight. your jealous and insecure. I mean there really isn't anything you can do about it? Maybe she is pucishing you for not being a man and fixing her whip. dunno?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
I seems that there's a lot of guys out there who have their egos easily challenged.
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,255
Reaction score
235
Age
49
Location
at our house
why didn't you say "great, because i haven't had the time to fix it and i know you were worried about it. what time do we drop the car off to him and what time should we be back to pick it up? oh, do you need help paying him for parts or anything?"

then you own the situation.

what, is she going to forbid you to go with her to drop it off? if so, then she knows that you would not stand for it.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Top