Shedding the Player Vibe with Brutal Honesty.

[LJC]

So I mentioned on the forums recently that I signed up on Tinder a few weeks ago just for sh!ts, giggles and curiosity. Passive approach for the most part. Matched up with a few "Ivy league", lawyer, entrepreneur, personal trainer, bull****, high maintenance types, a few of which made first contact and I ignored. I don't really consider myself too good for such types, I stay humble enough, but the "look" in these women's faces often tells my gut that I'm just too tired to deal with this sh!t. I dunno. Call it intuition...

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

I read her bio and it's stand-off-ish. "No games! No BS! No Hook Ups! IF we match and you don't respond I'm deleting you!". If she was the high-cheek bone, "worldly", duck lips type, I would have swiped left faster than the app can keep up with. But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

So I break the passive approach and make first contact.

I start off light with some humor than ask her where she's from. Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

 

[RichardTheFrog]

That girl is hot to you?

This is why I always ask people to post pictures of the girls.

 

[ApolloSunGod]

To much game invested this is where you tell her your single & tell her straight up take it or leave it if not she can kick rocks..

 

[El Payaso]

She sounds like damaged goods.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Zero fvcks given if they think I'm giving off "player" vibes. IMO I think woman prefer that over a guy that's possibly a stage 5 clinger.

If she just has face pics on tiner usually it means she's a chunky monkey.

Based off her "no games, no BS, no hook ups"
that's pretty typical of a chick thats been pumped and dumped playing the tinder cöck carousel game.

 

[Julian]

That girl is hot to you?

This is why I always ask people to post pictures of the girls.

Thats funny coming from someone who never posts pics and always has some histerically ridiculous beta viewpoints.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Thats funny coming from someone who never posts pics and always has some histerically ridiculous beta viewpoints.

I just posted pics a few days ago, and I'm way more alpha than you'll ever be.

Never seen you post any pics.

 

[Julian]

I just posted pics a few days ago, and I'm way more alpha than you'll ever be.

Never seen you post any pics.

Link the pics frogger.

 

[MrJack]

So I mentioned on the forums recently that I signed up on Tinder a few weeks ago just for sh!ts, giggles and curiosity. Passive approach for the most part. Matched up with a few "Ivy league", lawyer, entrepreneur, personal trainer, bull****, high maintenance types, a few of which made first contact and I ignored. I don't really consider myself too good for such types, I stay humble enough, but the "look" in these women's faces often tells my gut that I'm just too tired to deal with this sh!t. I dunno. Call it intuition...

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

I read her bio and it's stand-off-ish. "No games! No BS! No Hook Ups! IF we match and you don't respond I'm deleting you!". If she was the high-cheek bone, "worldly", duck lips type, I would have swiped left faster than the app can keep up with. But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

So I break the passive approach and make first contact.

I start off light with some humor than ask her where she's from. Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

Frog must be a billionaire CEO because that girl is definitely hot based on that picture. I'd say HB7.5-8

BUT

These girls are kinda rare on tinder (the type who respond super fast like that right away to a tinder stranger) and just by reading this I can tell it would be absolute hell being in an LTR with her.

She so open for you right off the bat because nobody else will take her.. hence why she's on tinder if all places looking for a legit relationship she claims. Tinder isn't the place for relationships it's for hookups.

And she does seem like a girl who responds to player types because ALL girls are attracted to player personality traits.

I'd try and smash as long as I can until the fling dies out. Then find new plate to replace.

@El Payaso is right she sounds like damaged goods.

 

[The Duke]

@LJC- you triggered her emotions by putting it out there like that. Thats what they want. Doesn't matter how you did it, just that you did. It won't work for every one of them, but good job.

Like the others said, be careful.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Frog must be a billionaire CEO because that girl is definitely hot based on that picture. I'd say HB7.5-8

BUT

These girls are kinda rare on tinder (the type who respond super fast like that right away to a tinder stranger) and just by reading this I can tell it would be absolute hell being in an LTR with her.

She so open for you right off the bat because nobody else will take her.. hence why she's on tinder if all places looking for a legit relationship she claims. Tinder isn't the place for relationships it's for hookups.

And she does seem like a girl who responds to player types because ALL girls are attracted to player personality traits.

I'd try and smash as long as I can until the fling dies out. Then find new plate to replace.

@El Payaso is right she sounds like damaged goods.

Her hair is dyed. She's overweight. Looks stupid. Also, the whole "damaged goods" thing which were never "goods" in the first place.

 

[MrJack]

Her hair is dyed. She's overweight. Looks stupid. Also, the whole "damaged goods" thing which were never "goods" in the first place.

Lol she doesn't look overweight you can tell in the face. I guess you can't say for sure though.

 

[sosousage]

its been confirmed by graph statistically that most women on edating are seeking just for attention. having same profiles for 4 years not even bothering texting but still matching with us. they all are extremaly mad for "sex jokes" or any "jokes" and will report/remove you but what can you do when they are both boring and barely replying.

Ive speend my time on T and i have to say I wasted it. in most cases i date women of lower quality than me (only from that app) and its with all that time/frustration investment in the app. not worth it. I will uninstall it as I start doing day game or something else

 

[sosousage]

She's probably not 102 pounds, but she doesn't strike me as fat either. But whatever. Not going to over-analyze it. Truth always comes out sooner or later. I'm not the type to put all of my eggs in one basket anyway.

Matched up with this one today and she sent a simple "hi" message. Haven't responded yet. Sometimes I just swipe right to see what kind of interest I'm getting. I get the impression her heart is as black as her hair. lol.

whats wrong with their faces? looks plastic as hell. im not saying i wouldnt bang them, because i would, but they look bad

 

[MrJack]

whats wrong with their faces? looks plastic as hell. im not saying i wouldnt bang them, because i would, but they look bad

All women do nowadays is put some sort of filter on their photos. My buddy's gf filters her face in literally every photo she posts and tbh it looks like shyt. Some unnatural fake Barbie looking shyt. But I guess that's one of the big media influences with women.

 

[Trump]

Anyway, I make a few more swipes today and match up with this one:

Spare me your rating system. I'm good with anything between a 7 and a 9, so long as I'm stricken with the right impression. I'm not out there to score "HB high" for you. I'm out there for me.

6.8

But "the look" on this one had struck my interest. I don't know why.

Because she is blond and bitchy looking.

Just so happens I know a woman from her town and asks if she knows her. Her response:

"No. Why did you date her?"

I replied briefly in HS but were just friends. I then ask her what she's looking for. Her response:

"You didn't read my profile!"

Within seconds I respond that I did, and spit some of it back to her.

She then answers my question: "I'm looking for something long term"

I'm thinking: No sh!t. Really?

So I respond: "OK. So what do you want to know about me? Ask away".

She immediately grills me on if I've ever been married, when was my last relationship, etc. and after my response, she then asks how long it has been since I split up with my ex.

I tell her over a year.

She then asks how long I've been single.

What the fvck, right?

At this point I consider cutting lose. 20 minutes goes by. I don't respond. She then messages:

"Nice chatting with ya! lol".

As if she just caught me with my pants down.....

I then hit her with this response:

"I took a year off to focus on my own thing after the split. Back in Spring I started dating again through my social circles. I had a few "hook ups" here and there, but nothing of quality worth pursuing.

A few months ago I started talking to a woman I once hung out with who now lives out of state. We had some chemistry, had a few visits back and forth, but ultimately decided the distance was too much of a hurdle. We settled on a "friends with benefits" situation, but we also came to an agreement that if either of us were to find someone we wanted to be with, the other would back off and respect it.

I'm telling you this because I'm not a unick. I'm a man. A single man. And this is my life right now. I try to keep an open book with people, and like my ad said, I'm not afraid of the consequences of being honest.

In my opinion, this is what "no bullsh!t" should really look like with any man who is worth a damn. Everyone else is lying."

She not only agreed with me profusely, but even thanked me "truly" for giving it to her straight.

I then give her my number through Tinder and tell her to "Shoot me a text sometime if she's still interested".

I get a text seconds later: "Of course I am, silly!"

3 minutes passes by.....

She messages me though Tinder again:

"Sent you a text! lol! (heart emoji)"

A few more minutes passes by.

I respond via text: "Good. I'm out of town for a few days but maybe we can meet up when I get back. Keep in touch when the mood strikes and we'll work out the details".

"Sounds good!", she responds.

Now, I didn't post this sh1t to toot my own horn so I can show you how "alpha blah blah blah" I am. After all, I haven't won yet. I haven't closed yet. But I posted it in hopes of displaying to some guys how over-playing the game or trying way too hard to spin plates and keep secrets can work against you in unnecessary ways. How "red flags" are sometimes really just a "sh1t test". I posted this in hopes of showing how sometimes brutal honesty, indifference and transparency can benefit a man in this game, even if he is a player, and even if he is dealing with women who know and play the game.

It's not about analyzing the psyche of women and then tricking them. In my opinion, it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

Discuss......

OK whatever works. I would have just said

"I read your profile and thought we could connect, do you have a phone number we can chat?"

 

[QuadDeuces]

One of the chicks I'm boning atm has been telling me from the start that she doesn't do hookup's, is looking for something long term, and would like a long term boyfriend. I always nod and smile and say OK baby let's watch a movie.
In the meantime she has svcked my **** 6x and I have fvcked her 4x and she doesn't know anything about me, hasn't been at my house, updates her Tinder profile daily with sexy pics and only calls/texts me when she needs sex, and a hug.

When women say no hook ups, no one night stands, they just want to convey: "Look I'm special, a model citizen, I'm not a slut, please respect me"
But in the meanwhile they just want to be fvcked and hugged without any drama.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I'd rate the blond a 7, and the black-haired one I would unmatch immediately. For me though a woman's personality does so much more. If i had a date with an 8 one night who was just kinda blah and a 5 the next night who laughed at all my jokes and kept the convo going and our interaction fun, I'm going back to the 5 every time.

 

[BeExcellent]

Firstly, who cares how y'all would rate her. OP likes her look and OP's opinion is the only one that matters here. One person's 6 is another person's 8, although the better looking a woman gets the more universally men agree she's attractive.

it's about blazing trails in ways most men are afraid to, in the ways women come to admire.

I'll make a few observations FWIW. You had the balls to be utterly direct. Not vulgar, not snotty, not inappropriate and not snide. Just direct. To be direct in this way conveys IDGAF and also allows that you have other stuff going on. All attractive people always have options. Another attractive person is going to understand this and find it normal. To have such an attitude also conveys that you are NOT going to be clingy to her, women despise clingyness in a man and most hot women are drawn to people who display nonchalance about a pretty woman's looks. When you are nonchalant it gets across that you are accustomed to beautiful women. This adds a comfort factor. All good things.

I found that I actually benefit more when I am a little more open and direct about my lifestyle, regardless of the type of woman.

This may not work so well for other guys. Younger guys or guys with a different style and demeanor might benefit more, themselves, by playing it very differently. But that's the point. Sometimes, for some men, embracing that vibe is the best way to shed it.

I bolded the parts in your quote that I think are important for people here to understand. It's transparent. When you are transparent off the bat you are displaying trustworthiness. You are not apologizing for your present situation. You have self respect. You gotta own it and put it out there. This is an efficient strategy in the marketplace because it weeds out women who are put off by the information you have shared and it weeds them out quickly.

I talk some about being a "player magnet." That's generally the type of man that I end up in LTRs with and that's the type I married if you look only on the surface. But as I've noted in other posts, many men who are perceived as players get that way because of lack and the inability to find a woman they really enjoy (sexually and otherwise) who is emotionally stable and suits whatever other their individual criteria might be. Many of these men actually WILL gravitate to a relationship with the right (for them) sort of woman. But they are not going to be celibate while they keep an eye out for the right chick, either. That's the rub for many girls and it actually benefits the man in question.

What do I mean by that? Women know that players and perceived players are sought after in the SMP. The OP's disclosures to blondie are in line with this statement. Therefore women who are terribly insecure about a man who is already involved with other women are selected against. Really neurotic or insecure women cannot handle the fact that they enter this man's realm ALREADY with other competition (that he's actively having sex with) on the radar screen. A sexually confident woman who knows she has substance outside the bedroom to offer is not worried about throwing her hat in the ring. Such a woman understands that the player type WANTS to find something MORE than a FWB or hookup. She knows she can deliver that too. And so she doesn't worry about his other interests, she doesn't cling or act insecure, she simply enjoys her time with him, encourages him, gets to know him and demonstrates what she has to offer at the same time. She takes a "May the best gal win" attitude and herself has a DGAF attitude about her. She lets the chips fall and doesn't devolve into clinging or insecurity or drama. She knows this is unusual and she trusts that the player will recognize this in her.

Now as to the contents of Blondie's profile...It does reek of "my way or the highway", which appears in my view to indicate she has had sub-par outcomes in the past with various men. THAT to me is a red flag. There is a bitterness conveyed in this sort of attitude. I mean we all face disappointments in life and romance, but those with good self esteem and stable personalities are able to get up, dust off, and have an openness toward future potential relationships with out carting tons of baggage around. Such people have no need to try and frame the interaction from the get-go with "No THIS, No THAT, Certainly none of X, no Y and under no circumstances any Z!"

So this chick comes to new relationships with bitterness and distrust emanating from her past. New men have to OVERCOME this defense mechanism to be able to have a positive outcome. Most men couldn't be bothered and so will go along just enough to get what they want (sex) and move on. They'd rather not deal with her emotional baggage and therefore she, by her bitter, negative attitude has set herself up for failure. But she doesn't know she is doing that to herself.

And it's not your job to inform her either.

So I agree with your premise, @LJC that being straighforward about being a player or being known or percieved as a player can work in your favor. IMO the biggest advantage it gives you is the ability to select for women who can actually handle the player's perceived higher value in the marketplace. To me the jury is out on whether or not this chick is such a woman based on material she has written about herself. You'll have to let us know if that's so in order to field test the theory, lol.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I can tell a lot about a woman just from a picture.

The blonde is DTF. That's why she is showing her boobs and ranting about not wanting a ons.

She's also good at taking pictures of herself. I can tell she probably took a hundred to get those two shots where she looks the best. Weird angles and not showing her full body shape are red flags that she will look fatter when you see her in person. She's also really insecure about being seen as fat, too, so if she believes that you don't think of her that way, it will make it extra easy to fvck her.