Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

She won’t hang with me but texts me constantly

youngdeniro

New Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2021
Messages
4
Reaction score
7
Age
26
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2,792
Reaction score
2,135
Block her on all platforms and only talk to her in person, if she asks just tell her you'd prefer to speak in person.

Im sure her friends are giving her a hard time about you, they like to set thirst traps and show their friends how desired they are, she's using your attention to get social status in her group, so you block her, only speak in person, even if it gets serious and if you never see her again then that's that
 

Grounded eagle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
564
Reaction score
640
Age
25
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
You,my friend,are being turned into an orbiter. Understand that there is a more than high chance that she’s seeing some other guy, and that she will only deign to look in your direction if things go south for her with him.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,543
Reaction score
2,228
Location
NYC
Definitely tell her that you're not interested in talking to someone who doesn't want to hang out with you. And when she makes whatever excuse just say "if you want to hang out with me, you'll find the time or make it just like you do for anyone else, let's hang out." And if not tell her goodbye until she plays ball. (She most likely won't.)

There's a girl who hasn't met up with me yet that I've been texting since October who I suspect will either flake or make another excuse next week when the time we're supposed to make plans (after finals week) comes up. But she likes to send memes and talk about sex so even if I gotta go bang other chicks and leave her in the Friendzone, talking to her is still fun for now.
 
Last edited:

youngdeniro

New Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2021
Messages
4
Reaction score
7
Age
26
You,my friend,are being turned into an orbiter. Understand that there is a more than high chance that she’s seeing some other guy, and that she will only deign to look in your direction if things go south for her with him.
Thought as much but she won’t stop texting me saying she misses me. Obviously I know she’s probably lying so I’ll just distance myself and focus on other girls who aren’t making it difficult for me.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,439
Reaction score
2,395
Age
36
But she likes to send memes and talk about sex so even if I gotta go bang other chicks and leave her in the Friendzone, talking to her is still fun for now.
At the very least, it gives you a chance to hone your sexting skills.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
1,126
Reaction score
1,828
Age
33
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
Clearly it wasn't a good time for her, otherwise she'd be bouncing on your lap.

In the future if a woman gives you an excuse without a counteroffer, never ask again. If a woman wants to see you she'll make it very easy, she'll say something like "oh shoot *insert excuse*, I'm so sorry I promise this won't happen again! How about Monday at 5pm? I can meet you at x,y,z."

Any form of breadcrumbs is most likely an attempt to exploit the validation you've so easily provided in the past. Insecure women are strange, they'll use breadcrumbs under the guise of not wanting to hurt your feelings. It doesn't sound like she's tried to call or catch you somewhere in person, and it sounds like her texts are all fluff/crumbs and no apologies or counteroffers.

If she's made excuses for multiple offers then you've already shown you're a bit desperate and lack some self respect. The best thing to do is go out and have fun with other women, as you've stated you'll do. She'll either make up for her mistakes by going out of her way (unlikely), or you'll meet a woman that would love to hang out with you, win win.

You probably shouldn't try the below, but I'm mentioning it here for everyone's benefit.
A more sophisticated approach is to learn to demote women to the friendzone. It's a great counter to breadcrumbs or disrespect. And if she doesn't seem like good friend material then simply place your attention on other people and demote her further. If I was in your place; if she asks me out I'd say I'm not interested in going beyond my front door. If she says something I find funny I'd just send a lol. She's demoted, so she no longer has a chance with me. I'll rarely respond with a question, unless it's a polite gesture that I would show any acquaintance or stranger. Otherwise I will put zero effort into a conversation. She'll either have to make up for her mistakes, or she'll never see me again (except randomly when I'm out). This comes from a place of effortless and care-free self respect, not out of anger or spite.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
2,258
Age
34
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)
1. ACTIONS always speak the truth, not words. Here, her actions obviously communicated an obvious lack of interest.

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me.
2. Exactly.

3. OP, when in doubts, always look at the action, not the words. She can send you millions of texts a day but it means nothing if she won't go out with you. If I were you, I would just forget all about her, and start investing my time & energy on other women instead. And remember, a girl is not a bad person just because she won't go out with you, but you'll be a bad person to yourself if you keep chasing after someone who's not interested in you enough to go out with you.
 

manfrombelow

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
1,760
Reaction score
2,258
Age
34
Definitely tell her that you're not interested in talking to someone who doesn't want to hang out with you. And when she makes whatever excuse just say "if you want to hang out with me, you'll find the time or make it just like you do for anyone else, let's hang out." And if not tell her goodbye until she plays ball. (She most likely won't.)
I would advise against this, because there's no need and no point in making a verbal statement like that.

When you see that a woman has no interest in you by rejecting your invitation to go out the second time (maximum), you don't tell her what you think, you don't whine, you don't convince her, you don't sound butthurt, you don't do anything but silently removing yourself and your attention right away. You communicate your intention via your actions, not words. Because you are a man.
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
Block her.
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,121
Reaction score
1,296
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
Remember this when it comes to interaction with women: respect is everything. It sounds counter intuitive, but when you set up standards and boundaries, women will like you more because they will respect you more.

A situation like this should be simple and clear-cut. Either she has the respect for you to meet up with you somewhere, or she doesn't.
 

derby1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
3,316
Reaction score
3,461
Thought as much but she won’t stop texting me saying she misses me. Obviously I know she’s probably lying so I’ll just distance myself and focus on other girls who aren’t making it difficult for me.
She doesn't miss you, she is rinsing you of "Non sexual attention" (remember that term for as long as you live), it is like a mind orgasm to a woman knowing she is desired by another man, but she has to give you NOTHING.

they get this through Likes, DM's, baiting men etc, then they ghost when theyve had their fix.

you sit messaging a girl all night thinking things are great, shes actually rinsing you of non sexual attention, and she will ghost the day after, which will send you into a confused rage.

whatever you do, do not think its Alpha male to "put a chic in her place" she will use it to clown you even more, and you havent laid down some serious D, so you are not important to her.

always do the total opposite of what your logic wants to do, basically you ghost aswell
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,007
Reaction score
4,521
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
She wants a “text buddy.” She is definitely using you for non-sexual attention. It’s pretty much a friendzone situation.

1. Ignore her and move on.

Or

2. Grind her gears a bit by double-downing on friendzone. Ask her advice about another girl. “I met this girl Amy. We’ve been out once. I want to take her to a nice place for dinner. Do you think XYZ restaurant is a good choice for a second date?”
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,293
Reaction score
4,811
Age
44
Thought as much but she won’t stop texting me saying she misses me. Obviously I know she’s probably lying so I’ll just distance myself and focus on other girls who aren’t making it difficult for me.
Another way of seeing this is looking as words vs. actions.

Words: she texts all day long, tells you she misses you
Actions: she doesn't want to meet up

Always believe a woman's actions and disregard her words. If there's a contradiction between the two, then what that means is that she's trying to deceive you.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,263
Reaction score
10,515
Agree with the general consensus to ignore her texting and move on. She probably does not want to do much in person. She only sees you as an orbiter.
 

BDDazza

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 10, 2010
Messages
136
Reaction score
74
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
During the date, or immediately after the date something had happened to turn her off. She is no longer interested, otherwise she would've met you a second time.

I know in your mind the date went well, but in her mind things didn't click well enough to pursue another date. She is keeping you around for attention and validation and she might have found somebody new or returned to an ex boyfriend meanwhile. Now its possible that in a few weeks or months the guy she is seeing regularly might drop off the radar and get replaced with you, but this is very unlikely as you are firmly in the orbiter zone.

Women whom are interested will open their diaries and tell you their availability. In fact they'll chase you down to meet!

Thought as much but she won’t stop texting me saying she misses me. Obviously I know she’s probably lying so I’ll just distance myself and focus on other girls who aren’t making it difficult for me.
She doesn't miss you, she is playing with your emotions, continue to distance yourself and focus on other girls.

 

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,751
Reaction score
3,448
Location
Mile High City, USA
Don't block her...quite yet.

Tell her you are looking for a cool woman to hang out with, not a pen pal (Google it if you don't know what it is) and to hit you up only when she's ready to meet up. Then, if she DOES actually want meet, make it as easy for you as possible; close to your house, a place you like to go with good food and drinks in the event she bails, and maybe a place where your friends hangout, again, if she bails.

There's a place I go on about 95% of my first dates. They know me there, awesome food, drinks, and apps, very cool venue, and I usually see people I know there too. Got stood up (first time ever in a long dating career, lol) around 3 years ago and just hung out, had a couple beers and dinner, and listened to music. I called the girl after she was about 20 minutes late (she picked up right away and knew it was me...read on) and she said, "Well, because you never confirmed I assumed the date was off." I say, "I'm a grown man and keep my commitments. If there was ever any question as to whether we were meeting or not, why didn't you confirm with me?" She stumbled for an answer. And this is someone I went out with a few times a number of months back--AND who is a veterinarian. So proof-positive there's ZERO correlation to a woman's' education level and her common sense and etiquette.

Let us know how this works out.

Ciao.
Dash
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,497
Reaction score
2,631
So me and this girl hang out once and even kissed I think we had a good time. At least I did. But ever since then she always has an excuse whenever I ask her hangout but she’d willingly hangout with her friends and post pics on her whatsapp status (probably to make me jealous idk)

So I decided why invest myself in somebody who’s obviously not interested in me. She even saved me in her phone as ‘name ’ on whatsapp I recently discovered. No big deal I can take a hint but she’s been constantly trying to message me and I have been leaving her on read and she still tries to get in contact.

Should I respond to her or stay no contact or just delete and block her once and for all?
If you were really a young DeNiro you would know the answer.

Which you already have the answer to anyway so I am unsure why you need the approval/perspective from others here in such a simple and straightforward scenario.


Modern Man Advice
 
Top