She wants a second public date before coming to my place.

[Peaks&Valleys]

Not everything undesirable from a woman is done by her as an insult or frame steal maneuver. Maybe her anti-slut defense nature would simply prefer to be able START the date out with a drink, rather than walking straight through his front door.

Yes. A little tease and "maybe it's going to happen" thrown in there. Even after they've prepped and groomed for you to blow their doors off. The song and dance.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Women break their own rules if they are highly attracted. The last thing you want is a woman who sticks to her guns.

Why is this? Because women ultimately want to submit to the frame of a worthy man. She doesn't want to stick to her guns, because then she's leading the relationship. Her hindbrain doesn't want this, even if her forebrain is saying "He must respect me".

It's not about rules. Women have no "rules" when it comes to men. It's all instinct.

 

[jimwho]

Also, don't give the impression that the date at your place means sex. You don't want to give her the impression that you want to bang her.

Are you kidding he played with her snatchh at a public park. On the first date!

 

[TheNewStyle123]

I wouldn’t cancel the 2nd date. I don’t think her saying she doesn’t want to come straight to your home is her saying she won’t bang by the end of the night. I’d go and do what you did the first time (since it sounds like you did everything right). I would continue to escalate. If you aren’t getting the feel good vibes and you don’t at least get farther than date 1 then I would eject and find other women.

You’ve been at this long enough you KNOW when you are fighting an uphill battle. If you feel that way then it’s time to move on. And for the record, despite what other posters have said, I tend to find women who do not put out date #1 are higher quality than those who do. This sometimes has nothing to do with how “alpha” you are.

Thanks man! I’m with you. I agree, I think a girl who waits tends to usually be higher quality and an overall better lay.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

It's far, far better getting to know a woman after you've already banged her.

There's a terrible notion that you get to know a woman before banging her. It's the reverse. The foundation for getting to know a woman is first ensuring that she's highly attracted to you - and she demonstrates her attraction through sex.

You are highly mistaken here.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Are you kidding he played with her snatchh at a public park. On the first date!

Hahahaha there was a lot of heavy petting literally going on on a park bench (no one else around that I could see though!)

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Women certainly have rules when it comes to betas. Those rules disappear when she has "chosen" a guy.

Women have a logical mind that they use to filter betas, and this is where they make rules. Their instinctual hindbrain takes over when attraction is triggered.

Okay when it comes to "betas" yes, they all of the sudden become logical, it's like the skies opened up and God suddenly blessed them with some magical skill they never had before, agreed. But when it comes to a desirable male, it's different, that's where I feel we're not understanding each other.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

The mistake is getting to know a woman who you haven't banged yet. That investment is not warranted because there is no ongoing-relationship potential if she is not highly attracted. And counter to what most people think, a woman knows if she's attracted to a guy very quickly. Her assessment is made within an hour of the first date.

So a female who is highly attracted to you must have sex with you on the first or second date? My point: A FEMALE WHO IS HIGHLY ATTRACTED TO YOU BUT DOESN'T HAVE SEX WITH YOU, is relationship material.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

" a highly-attracted woman wants is to know that you don't see her as an easy slvt"

Why is that?

Would you prefer her to have sex on demand with any man she finds attractive?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Some posts here are delusional. Most women aren’t coming to your place for date #2. Take the broad on another date then ask again for date #3.

 

[EyeBRollin]

That's not an ultimatum. You're giving her a choice. You would never say to a woman "If you don't come to my place then I'm not seeing you anymore" - that's pathetic.

You frame this as her choice (which it is). "Either you let me take you on a journey, or I wish you all the best, my darling." - do it with a cheeky smile and a positive vibe.

That's leaving a ton of ass on the table

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

This is very simple.

Women don't want Men to see her as "easy" because men don't find promiscuous women attractive, so women have evolved to hide their nature from men.

Men don't find promiscuous women attractive because it's a threat to paternity assurance, in evolution-speak. The existential threat for men is raising another man's children and wasting his resources on another man's offspring. The existential threat for women is being left alone to fend for herself, while impregnated.

Women would prefer a man to think she is highly-selective and chastened because a man is more likely to invest his resources into her.

These are all primitive forces that lurk behind the forebrain.

I'm on the notion that modern feminists should be burned at the stake, no? Well... what if modern women don't want to act like feminists and give up on the first date?

 

[TheProspect]

Mostly a good result. Not perfect, but good.

I second this.

There's a lot of extreme black and white thinking going on in this thread, OP I recommend taking it with a grain of salt.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Quite the opposite. I found myself over-whelmed with ass when I started setting the frame of the dates.

I've tried the methods expressed here i.e. mandatory multiple dates before sex. Yes, you can definitely bang women doing this but I'd maintain that she would've banged you anyway on the first or second date if you guided her there. The risk with multiple dates is it actually worsens your chance - you're investing in a woman without her banging you is actually a turn-off for a woman. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but women do seem counter-intuitive when viewed through the male lens.

No. You guys want cheap sex. It doesn’t work that way. The most consistent way to get her to first dates sex is taking her to a couple different spots on the first “date.” However, you just end up spending the same amount of money. I don’t know why you guys insist that “game” will get you laid without dropping some cash.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

@Pan87 You are personally compatible with women who are more than willing to be pumped and dumped on a first date.

Some men will sleep with just about anything to get a lay. Some men have higher standards.

Boom, exactly.

 

[Velasco]

A girl sleeping with you on the first date has nothing to do with whether or not shes high quality or not. If shes on the date with you in the first place it means shes attracted to you. From there all you need to do is make her feel like you guys are the same (cialdini's liking principle), up the sexual tension (verbal+physical escalation), and make her feel comfortable with the idea of sleeping with you on the first date (like shes not a slut for doing so). All failures to not closing girls on day 1, are usually down to on of these 3 points. From what I skimmed, it seems like he didn't do much in terms of making her feel comfortable with that, so he needs to take her out on another date outside of his home, for her do feel this way.

 

[manfrombelow]

Things are going well. Have fun on date #2.

Don't sweat her wanting to have one more date before coming to your place. That's no big deal.

I second this.

OP, you need to relax.

She is saying let's have at least another public date so I don't look like a slut before I fvck your brains out. It's only Anti-Slut Defense System. It's normal. No big deal here.

Have fun on your second date. Actually dating is more fun if you don't focus 100% of your mental energy thinking about the eventual outcome that is sex.

 

[EyeBRollin]

If your mindset is "I must drop cash on a woman and take her on dates in order to get laid" then you are very much viewing sex as an explicit transaction. Nothing turns a woman off more than this. It's actually why women will sometimes split the bill with you, as I described in an earlier post. Women know you're trying to transact your way into her pvssy.

Tapping into a woman's emotional landscape is how you get proper, high-attraction sex. It's all about how you make her "feel". Money has nothing to do with it.

Women never split the bill with me, as I don’t allow it. I deal in reality. It is delusional to think guys will have consistent first or second sex by not taking women out on dates. I call bullshvt when I see it. You don’t have to take broads to Ruth Chris or McCormicks but they at least want the bare minimum illusion of courtship.

 

[Velasco]

When ur relaxed and go without an agenda is when you get needing to spend extra time and money you wouldnt otherwise spend had you done things right on day 1. You're relaxed yet focused on leading things towards your end goal. Something I wouldnt expect a girl to understand. As shes takes the more passive stance. The man understands hes role is to make things happen. The girl only needs to allow it to happen (shes fine without sex happening cuz she has a billion men that would happily fck her if she were to snap her fingers). After sleeping with her. The next time you guys see each other, sex is already a given (your fbuddies now). Less agenda. More relaxed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She doesn't want an illusion of courtship - this is a transactional, medieval mating strategy.

She wants 2 things:

1. She wants to feel highly attracted to you

2. She doesn't want to feel like a slvt for having fast sex with you (so you give her plausible deniability, as discussed).

High attraction isn't built by an illusion of courtship. That's supplicating to her frame.

That is a strawman argument. You are leaving ass on the table by suggesting to the OP to next every chick that meets you at the park or whatever cheap ass first date you choose if she doesn’t sleep with you. It is terrible advice.