She wants a second public date before coming to my place.

[TheNewStyle123]

What's up guys.

Went on a date yesterday to a local spot with a new girl. Date went really well - we each got one drink and she even offered to split the bill (I thanked her but paid the bill, after all it was only one drink). We then went for a walk, I initiated kino for most of the date, conversation was good, and we ended up making out a few times during the remainder of the date.

I invited her to my place this Wednesday night for dinner (and she would bring us some wine). I have not had a girl yet that I have met in person want to meet up a second time prior coming to my place, but this girl asked if we could meet up again in a public setting prior to coming to my apartment. She said it's not that she "doesn't feel comfortable", but "it's just not something I usually do on date #2, I would like to get to know you a little bit better if that's ok."

IL seemed very high on the date and still does, I am just not sure if this is a characteristic of a more quality girl vs. what I have been used to from OLD (some have come to my place either on the first date, or most have come to my place for a second date after getting a drink or coffee first).

Definitely interested in seeing her again though. HB 7.5, really sweet, great conversation, similar interests, well put together, etc. My plan is to meet up with her again in person this Wednesday for another drink. This time, if/when she offers to split the bill I will accept.

What do you guys think?

 

[Grinderman]

Yeah would perhaps have been better to invite her for a wine at a bar very close to yours......
....and then bring her back on the pretext of seeing your cactus / record collection / wine collection / open another...
she's got plausible deniability. She's going with the flow.

You gave her too much time to think about the possibility of being perceived as a slut.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Things are going well. Have fun on date #2.

Don't sweat her wanting to have one more date before coming to your place. That's no big deal.

Thanks buddy! Yeah I honestly had a great time and felt high IL from her. I don't want to read too much into it. I think it will be fun.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Yeah would perhaps have been better to invite her for a wine at a bar very close to yours......
....and then bring her back on the pretext of seeing your cactus / record collection / wine collection / open another...
she's got plausible deniability. She's going with the flow.

You gave her too much time to think about the possibility of being perceived as a slut.

The bar we went to yesterday is actually very close to my place - that would normally be my move but I had another plate coming over that night and wouldn't of had enough time to turn around the apartment if she came over... hahaha

 

[derby1]

"I don't do that on Date #2" means she is controlling the frame, and the journey of your relationship.

I personally believe she sees OP as LTR material, so is selling him the GF vibes.

Women are backwards. they will give the fruits to a guy who is a complete dossa, (probably not even all that).

then they punish the good guy and make him wait 3 dates

 

[TheNewStyle123]

LTR Material means "provider". That means "no sex" - she'll take the alpha seed and get "LTR Material Guy" to raise the sprog.

Think I should cancel the date?

 

[derby1]

LTR Material means "provider". That means "no sex" - she'll take the alpha seed and get "LTR Material Guy" to raise the sprog.

Black pill overload. take some time off before it you shoot a shopping mall up

 

[derby1]

Think I should cancel the date?

No,

look your gonna have to accept women have put out to certain guys on night 1.

some guys wait till night 3.

you may be better looking but now your gonna get punished!!

this is the weird stuff women do

wait like a spider and bail if you think its taking the P

 

[derby1]

There's no Black Pill in me.

you mention alpha and cucking in nearly every post.

In the Uk , its safe to say women get pregnant by normal every day guys

 

[TheNewStyle123]

No,

look your gonna have to accept women have put out to certain guys on night 1.

some guys wait till night 3.

you may be better looking but now your gonna get punished!!

this is the weird stuff women do

wait like a spider and bail if you think its taking the P

You're right man. That's exactly what I had gut feeling about. If things don't progress at all during this next date or two then I'll bail.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

One thing to always keep in mind is that an attractive woman always has 1 or 2 guys in her 'back pocket.'

These guys are there for when the Alphas that are currently digging her out get sick of her and inevitably drop her.

She needs to know that a nice, safe, respectable provider will always be there for her.

I'd still go on date #2.

I agree buddy - thanks for the advice!

 

[Bigpapa]

you mention alpha and cucking in nearly every post.

In the Uk , its safe to say women get pregnant by normal every day guys

it would be an interesting experiment to do an dna test on all the babies born in a certain year to see how many of them match the official dad dna

as we already have statistics that most marriages crumble and usually the women do the 1st step

 

[Bigpapa]

Sperm Wars by Robin Baker goes into this in quite a bit of detail. Eye-opening stuff and it's a really taboo topic.

Betas would start hanging themselves en masse if they knew how this stuff really works.

dunno if it is entirely true what is in that book , but what I know is that how things are at the moment is not really working for most guys neither on the short and neither on the medium and long term

so for sure most guys are missing something that would change the results in their favor

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

What's up guys.

Went on a date yesterday to a local spot with a new girl. Date went really well - we each got one drink and she even offered to split the bill (I thanked her but paid the bill, after all it was only one drink). We then went for a walk, I initiated kino for most of the date, conversation was good, and we ended up making out a few times during the remainder of the date.

I invited her to my place this Wednesday night for dinner (and she would bring us some wine). I have not had a girl yet that I have met in person want to meet up a second time prior coming to my place, but this girl asked if we could meet up again in a public setting prior to coming to my apartment. She said it's not that she "doesn't feel comfortable", but "it's just not something I usually do on date #2, I would like to get to know you a little bit better if that's ok."

IL seemed very high on the date and still does, I am just not sure if this is a characteristic of a more quality girl vs. what I have been used to from OLD (some have come to my place either on the first date, or most have come to my place for a second date after getting a drink or coffee first).

Definitely interested in seeing her again though. HB 7.5, really sweet, great conversation, similar interests, well put together, etc. My plan is to meet up with her again in person this Wednesday for another drink. This time, if/when she offers to split the bill I will accept.

What do you guys think?

Good for you. She's thinking about a relationship, that's why she's taking it slow. Is that what you want?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

What's up guys.

Went on a date yesterday to a local spot with a new girl. Date went really well - we each got one drink and she even offered to split the bill (I thanked her but paid the bill, after all it was only one drink). We then went for a walk, I initiated kino for most of the date, conversation was good, and we ended up making out a few times during the remainder of the date.

I invited her to my place this Wednesday night for dinner (and she would bring us some wine). I have not had a girl yet that I have met in person want to meet up a second time prior coming to my place, but this girl asked if we could meet up again in a public setting prior to coming to my apartment. She said it's not that she "doesn't feel comfortable", but "it's just not something I usually do on date #2, I would like to get to know you a little bit better if that's ok."

IL seemed very high on the date and still does, I am just not sure if this is a characteristic of a more quality girl vs. what I have been used to from OLD (some have come to my place either on the first date, or most have come to my place for a second date after getting a drink or coffee first).

Definitely interested in seeing her again though. HB 7.5, really sweet, great conversation, similar interests, well put together, etc. My plan is to meet up with her again in person this Wednesday for another drink. This time, if/when she offers to split the bill I will accept.

What do you guys think?

Sounds like a keeper! We highly respect a woman that offers to pay for her stuff. Only then we suggest paying for the whole bill. If she just sits there and waits for you to open up your wallet then it is a red flag. But she offered and you made the right move by thanking her and paying for the drinks.

As far as her IL, she is def into you and wants to spend time and find out about you so that is a positive and should take that into consideration regarding this situation. While we would suggest not letting her make that call, and simply allow her to follow your lead and comply, because of her actions we would suggest meeting halfway. Go on the second date in public, keep enjoying yourself and being present, but be intentional about having her come to your place either at the end of the date (by planning the date close to your place) or making it a non-negotiable that 3rd date is in private.

if she does not comply, then she simply is not sure about you in that way. If a woman is sexually attracted to you (unless there is some underlying trauma or past experience), she won't have a problem being in private with you and giving in to your sexual advances. In fact, she will give you signals that she wants that.

About the bill next time, def allow her to invest in you. Many men make that mistake of always paying or doing all the work, while yes men lead, if you want a woman to chase you and think about you, you need to allow her to invest in you. Just like you did when you suggested she would bring the wine to your place. That is key. Think about it. So yes, not just split the bill let her pay next time.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Modern Man Advice]

This is wrong. Women pay because they don't want to feel obligated to have sex with a guy. Women talk about this alllll the time in their Dolly Magazines write-ins.

Women often talk about when a guy pays for her date, then he expects sex (like a covert contract). It's more likely that this Woman is just looking for a guy she's highly attracted to, and doesn't want to feel guilty about using guys for a free lunch.

Sounds like you got all the answers and know what women want and think, Nick Marshall. Thanks for sharing.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I just have lots of experience, through trial and error. I've seen what works, and what doesn't work. A woman paying for herself does not mean she's a keeper. It just means she's independent and doesn't want to feel like she owes you anything. It's neutral.

A woman is a keeper if she's highly attracted to you and is coming into your frame, and not saying things like "I don't do that on second dates".

"I don't do that on second dates". I understand what you're saying here: A friend of mine would always hear "yeah we can go (hang out in your car/back to your place) but I'm not having sex with you" and he would immediately know, from that statement, it meant they were having sex. But I don't think the OP framed it that way, I have been wrong in the past though.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Men are the gate-keepers of commitment/LTRs. All women want commitment (until they get it, then they go looking for another guy that she "wants commitment" from). The key to a woman's heart is getting her wanting you to commit to her, you not giving it to her, and getting her to anxiously give you pu$$y in the hopes that you'll commit.

A woman "wanting a relationship" means nothing on it's own. All women want this, in an abstract way. In OP's case, she's just using the "I want commitment, so you must wait for sex" ruse as a way to turn OP into dancing monkey that doesn't get laid.

In some cases yes. But "case by case", it's "easy come, easy go" IME. Yes, I can hit once and hit twice. But when it comes to relationships, give it a minute, see what develops. Personally, I respect a woman who won't give it up on the first or second date.

 

[Barrister]

I wouldn’t cancel the 2nd date. I don’t think her saying she doesn’t want to come straight to your home is her saying she won’t bang by the end of the night. I’d go and do what you did the first time (since it sounds like you did everything right). I would continue to escalate. If you aren’t getting the feel good vibes and you don’t at least get farther than date 1 then I would eject and find other women.

You’ve been at this long enough you KNOW when you are fighting an uphill battle. If you feel that way then it’s time to move on. And for the record, despite what other posters have said, I tend to find women who do not put out date #1 are higher quality than those who do. This sometimes has nothing to do with how “alpha” you are.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Exactly. Women say this so they can have plausible deniability - "I told him we wouldn't have sex if I went back to his place. And then it just happened. not my fault" - It's how women hamster their behavior. You can actually help her with this by giving her the plausible deniability yourself. It's as simple as telling her that the reason you're going back to your place is to show her your record collection, or something non-sexual.

Right right. That's MY point, but if she actually sticks to her guns, then, hey, that's a good woman, no?