"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She wanted me to pay for everything.

ARrocket

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There is this girl who had been showing obvious interest. I've known/flirted with her for awhile but never really made a move. She is obviously the type that loves playing hard to get, and she's really good looking, and so she has guys all over her (so she can get away with playing hard to get). I called her the other day and invited her someplace with me. She asks if I'm paying right away. I said I'd buy her dinner if she was nice...and she says "you're inviting me, you should pay for everything." I said "I don't think so" and she changes her tone, and says that the thing I had invited her to do was boring, and that she didn't want to go. I said ok and hung up. Today, as usual, I saw her at school, making and maintaining direct eye contact with me. However, instead of the usual smirk on her face, she seemed a little nervous....my question is, is she a lost cause? To tell you the truth, I'm not really that hung up on this girl, I just think she's hot :)

Should I just forget about her? Or is she worth trying a different tactic with?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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ezily

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If she seemed nervous I think you have a chance. You're probably the only guy who has stood up to her unlike all those other AFCs. Dude, I would definitely try again and use that same kind of C&F thing you were doing with her. She is not a lost cause. If she is that hot you probably just have to try a little bit harder. Also, she at least answered the phone when you called. That's a good sign I think.
 

ARrocket

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Yeah, I guess she isn't used to that....but idk, it seems like a pretty bad sign when the first thing she asks is if I'm gonna pay right? Not only a sign of her interest, but of her character? Or am I over analyzing?
 

Effington

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I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no broke...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ezily

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no. she probably just said that because she is used to getting everything she wants. now if you don't want to try and play that game then forget about her. But if she's hot I still think you have a chance if you play your cards right. I mean that C&F stuff seems to work with girls like this. You just can't be like every other guy out there. That's the key with getting hot girls I think.
 

Bible_Belt

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Maybe she's insecure about being broke?

If you are not broke, then I am not against paying. Nothing expensive, nothing fancy, but if it makes her feel like less of a wh0re when I buy her a meal before we fvck on the first date, then that is ok with me.
 

Jitterbug

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Bible_Belt said:
if it makes her feel like less of a wh0re when I buy her a meal before we fvck on the first date, then that is ok with me.
So she'd feel like less of a wh0re if she ****s for food? :D Nevermind, I just find it amusing. :)

I think ARrocket did the right thing, but regardless of whether he has a chance or not, I don't think this girl is at all good for a relationship after her tactless display of her gold-digging nature. **** her & chuck her.
 

aldaris

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THE RULES:

1)pay only for pretty virgins.
2)if she isn't a virgin and you don't bang her after the second date you will never bang her.
 

Beffing

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shes probably not used to a confident male like yourself, more aware of the common female. Maybe shes even a bit intimitated. Id play the same game youre playing, just as long as she shows interest.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bible_Belt

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you don't bang her after the second date you will never bang her.


Virginity issues aside, that is my rule, which is why I don't mind paying for dinner.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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I think you might be too quick too judge. If she keeps asking you to pay her way and do all this sh!t. Then, you will know she is using you.
 

JackPrescott

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ezily said:
If she seemed nervous I think you have a chance. You're probably the only guy who has stood up to her unlike all those other AFCs. Dude, I would definitely try again and use that same kind of C&F thing you were doing with her. She is not a lost cause. If she is that hot you probably just have to try a little bit harder. Also, she at least answered the phone when you called. That's a good sign I think.
Tell her unless you are sleeping with her, it's "Waiter, seperate checks"
 

Phyzzle

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she says "you're inviting me, you should pay for everything."
She's right, I'm afraid.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Birdem

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WoW, What kinda bull**** is that. So what you invited her, she should be happy just to chill with you that should be enough for her. In my opinion you should next her or wait and see how can she redeem herself. If she can't redeem her self( like pay for your dinner) you should next this chick in a heartbeat. You don't have the time and energy to deal with this sort of bull****. I'am still kind of shocked how someone can come off so rude like that.
 

ARrocket

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So what would you guys recommend? She and I have a long-running joke where we both ask when the other is gonna buy us dinner....should I tell her that now she "has" to buy me dinner to make it up to me?
 

Bible_Belt

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So drop twenty bucks on Chinese food for two, and then have sex with her. If she won't, then you never spend a dime on her again. The most you can lose with this approach is the ten bucks for her half of the meal.
 

Tear Gas

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well, she does have a point of expecting you to pay for her due to the fact that YOU asked her out, but the fact that she said it right after asking her out was very rude of her..If you REALLY want to chill with her, i would take her somewhere not very expensive like lunch or coffee and pay for her...if you don't get at least a kiss after the second date i would drop her ass. Looks like she likes to use guys OR is afraid that you'll be like the last guy that took her out and made her pay...just don't let her use you if you know she's interested in you...

what did you ask her to do anyway?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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