She Tried to Hurt Me

[bigneil]

Then why dont you callllll meeee????? <3 <3 <3

Get a motel! You can expense me! God knows you both have been my 2 best psychologists.

 

[sazc]

She wanted to end it as quickly as possible, from HER perspective. She probably didn't give ANY thought to how it would affect you..

This is a completely uncomfortable thought to sit with, but very much a possibility.

 

[bigneil]

Get over yourself.

She wanted to end it as quickly as possible, from HER perspective.

Ok, but she asked me out twice after I said "congratulations".

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Ok, but she asked me out twice after I said "congratulations".

Have you ever studied game theory? It can be helpful in a situation like this.

Situation One

She hates you and wants to hurt you as much as possible.

Solution? Forget her and find somebody else.

Situation Two

Shes nuts. Hot and cold. Loves you one second and hates you the next.

Solution? Forget her and find somebody else.

Situation Three

She really DID want to end it, but because of your super hero alpha skills, she's not so sure now. But this means she'll continue to bounce around like a ping pong ball.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Situation Four

She is trying to keep you as a beta orbiter, because she wants to have her cake and eat it to.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Situation Five

She's just a modern woman who doesn't know what she wants, god bless her.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Unless you love drama as much as the ladies you find yourself with the answer is the same in all situations.

 

[bigneil]

Have you ever studied game theory? It can be helpful in a situation like this.

Situation One

She hates you and wants to hurt you as much as possible.

Solution? Forget her and find somebody else.

Situation Two

Shes nuts. Hot and cold. Loves you one second and hates you the next.

Solution? Forget her and find somebody else.

Situation Three

She really DID want to end it, but because of your super hero alpha skills, she's not so sure now. But this means she'll continue to bounce around like a ping pong ball.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Situation Four

She is trying to keep you as a beta orbiter, because she wants to have her cake and eat it to.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Situation Five

She's just a modern woman who doesn't know what she wants, god bless her.

Solution? Forget about her and find somebody else.

Unless you love drama as much as the ladies you find yourself with the answer is the same in all situations.

Situation Six

She was so upset that I said LJBF and because I flaked on 7 straight dates when she wouldn't basically let me tie her up, she wanted to get me back and see how I would react, because most guys cry when she dumps them. Since I withstood it, and since she sent the last text, and since I have an new model who is younger than her and hot enough to compete, within a week, her interest went up. When I see her again the chemistry will take over (I lost 15 lb since I last saw her) and we will have great makeup sex.

 

[sazc]

Situation Six

She was so upset that I said LJBF she wanted to get me back and see how I would react, because most guys cry when she dumps them. Since I withstood it (and have an we model) her interest went up. When I see her again the chemistry will take over and we will have great makeup sex.
Ok, but if I followed your advice from the start I would have missed out on the best sex of my life.

Gosh but ....

Let's say that's the case and her being in love with the other guy is a big head game from her to you. If you give in to the game, she's going to believe that head games work with you and will start to try and control the relationship using games. At least that would be my worry.

 

[sazc]

Whatever she says...She's a hot chick. I have proof.

lol, shut up

 

[Von]

Neil you à troll

Ever checked for austim? High functionnal?

You write 300 thread about how "rated" this girl is... how she's the love of your life

Another 100, how she was playing you and you were gaming her

Another 50 how she will be back or that you were "above her"

You at the BPD of trolling, but at least 1/10 good stuff comes from you.

Also why you always détail analyse and wanna share it, like a method

 

[sazc]

DID YOU SEND THE NUDES?!?

lol, uhhhh no
that's a kinda funny question tho.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She was so upset that I said LJBF and because I flaked on 7 straight dates when she wouldn't basically let me tie her up, she wanted to get me back and see how I would react, because most guys cry when she dumps them. Since I withstood it, and since she sent the last text, and since I have an new model who is younger than her and hot enough to compete, within a week, her interest went up. When I see her again the chemistry will take over (I lost 15 lb since I last saw her) and we will have great makeup sex.

Ah, I see what this thread is. Another "I'm so awesome" thread hidden inside the old, "what should I do with this girl" question.

What a surprise...

 

[soulforge]

I think if I had agreed to meet her for lunch a couple weeks ago she would have said it to my face, just to see me squirm.

I'm glad she did this because I won't trust her anymore, but I will still try to have sex with her again if she comes back. At least it never became about money (that's another way strippers often break down).

I've never known a girl to disappear forever. We went through something almost exactly like this 7 months ago. She had a ONS, was in the middle of a move, met a new neighbor who warned her not to date me, and she put our plans on hold. She later said her main fear was that I'd freak out because I had invested time and money. When I saw her again it was the best sex we ever had.

It doesn't make sense that a girl would divorce her husband and never see her lover again.

I think she was resenting me for something. This goes under Beware the After Effects (of a successful seduction).

Why are you even expecting this chick to come back, all this BS your dealing with for the sake of good sex..

Let it go man

You would have passed up 9 months of sex? 9 months is a long time for non-BPD relationships.

I think I speak for all of you - you would have done anything to sleep with her, and the odds are 99.9% she would have rejected you.

It's the fact that you will do ANYTHING to get that kinda sex, is whats getting you into chit like this..

she is too young too.. same as my ex was too fuking old haha

 

[LimaBean]

Older women are fun, but I'd never consider an LTR with one.

 

[bigneil]

Gosh but ....

Let's say that's the case and her being in love with the other guy is a big head game from her to you. If you give in to the game, she's going to believe that head games work with you and will start to try and control the relationship using games. At least that would be my worry.

If it were him for me I would understand, but are you saying the divorce with the man she lived with since age 14 (8/21 years) isn't a factor?

She can't exactly go public with her having been dating a 46 year old man for nearly a year. She needed to rebound with someone else. IMO nothing will send her back to me faster than a 21 year old man she lives with.

Neil you à troll

Ever checked for austim? High functional?

Von can't even spell the letter a!

Here's an idea: have a point.

Show me a hotter girl who you had more success with.

 

[sazc]

If it were him for me I would understand, but are you saying the divorce with the man she lived with since age 14 (8/21 years) isn't a factor?

She can't exactly go public with her having been dating a 46 year old man for nearly a year. She needed to rebound with someone else. IMO nothing will send her back to me faster than a 21 year old man she lives with.

Yea, again, idk. I can only digest what I read from you (and I do miss stuff) and tell you what I think.
I, personally, think she is too young for you. But I also feel as if you really like this age bracket. Just be prepared for flighty behavior from he young ones. Even if she comes back, she may get restless and want to leave again.

 

[bigneil]

Yea, again, idk. I can only digest what I read from you (and I do miss stuff) and tell you what I think.
I, personally, think she is too young for you. But I also feel as if you really like this age bracket. Just be prepared for flighty behavior from he young ones. Even if she comes back, she may get restless and want to leave again.

Have you ever left (arguably) the 2 most important men (at a minimum 2 out of the top 4) who you ever dated on the same exact day? I don't think it's possible.

I took her under my wing and (along with giving her her first orgasm) proved to her that she was nearly a picture perfect model, and her dad who she always adored but who left her when she was 13 took her back and shelled out $20K or so for her divorce and move. She isn't going to forget me. I have strippers in 10 states who still send me love letters.

 

[sazc]

Have you ever left (arguably) the 2 most important men (at a minimum 2 out of the top 4) who you ever dated on the same exact day? I don't think it's possible.

Now that I cannot answer because I've never dated two people at the same time.

My guess, after reading everything you have posted about her, was that she's been dealing with a ton of heavy stuff for a very long time and it appears that she finally got super stressed and snapped about it all and had to get away from 'stuff', and you became a casualty in that.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

@bigneil you are a glutton for punishment!

She disappeared for 10 days man, you should have taken the hint then and went N/C.

 

[bigneil]

@bigneil you are a glutton for punishment!

She disappeared for 10 days man, you should have taken the hint then and went N/C.

I did. I withdrew the next 9 dates in a row. June 2, 8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 17, 23 and 24.

Question: if she were trying to dump me, would her interest in me peak the week of her divorce? Would she text me 10/12 days the week of the divorce? Would she introduce me to her father the week of the divorce? Would she ask me to send photos of her and her father to my father the week of the divorce? Would she plan a cross-country trip with me two weeks before the divorce? Would her last words be "Can I count on you no matter what?" the week of the divorce if she were dumping me forever, along with her husband? I don't think it's possible to dump 2 SO's at once. I do think the mess of one breakup can overshadow another romance - for a time.

I think that in the emotion of the divorce she hooked up with one of the few men she knew longer (age 13 versus her husband who she met at age 14). As Coach Corey Wayne says "any time my game has been tight but I lost a girl, it was to someone who she had a longer connection with".

 

[Von]

If it were him for me I would understand, but are you saying the divorce with the man she lived with since age 14 (8/21 years) isn't a factor?

She can't exactly go public with her having been dating a 46 year old man for nearly a year. She needed to rebound with someone else. IMO nothing will send her back to me faster than a 21 year old man she lives with.


Von can't even spell the letter a!

Here's an idea: have a point.

Show me a hotter girl who you had more success with.

Neil, learn your autocorrect for French cellphone type.

Show you? Maybe. But know It's not à competition

 

[Jifto]

I did. I withdrew the next 9 dates in a row. June 2, 8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 17, 23 and 24.

Question: if she were trying to dump me, would her interest in me peak the week of her divorce? Would she text me 10/12 days the week of the divorce? Would she introduce me to her father the week of the divorce? Would she ask me to send photos of her and her father to my father the week of the divorce? Would she plan a cross-country trip with me two weeks before the divorce? Would her last words be "Can I count on you no matter what?" the week of the divorce if she were dumping me forever, along with her husband? I don't think it's possible to dump 2 SO's at once. I do think the mess of one breakup can overshadow another romance - for a time.

I think that in the emotion of the divorce she hooked up with one of the few men she knew longer (age 13 versus her husband who she met at age 14). As Coach Corey Wayne says "any time my game has been tight but I lost a girl, it was to someone who she had a longer connection with".

Bigneil, you've inspired me in your posts on this forum and given me hard, honest feedback when I've needed it. I sincerely appreciate your help in pulling me out of some tough stuff. Really.

That's why I can say with nothing but love for you man...let it go. All the questions you're asking, all the examples, second guessing all the things that were said and done. It doesn't matter. I've had women tell me they wanted me to meet their parents, travel internationally with them, celebrate "me"...all days before it's ended. People say things man. They do things. They don't have a grandiose plan. They can and will say something one minute and forget it the next. You CAN be forgotten nearly instantly.

It really sucks man. I totally get it. It's an ego hit and it blows to lose great sex and an emotional connection. But it's just this crazy world we live in.

I'd give up and if something changes, great. If not, you're on the way to recovery. Watch the first scene of "Swingers" to put it into perspective.

Of course this is just my opinion and like I said, it comes from a good place. I really respect your posts brother, but I feel like this a case where YOU would tell ME this if the shoe was on the other foot.