I met this girl a few months ago, we met at a friends party and chatted a good bit. It didn’t go anything beyond that but she looked me up on Facebook and reached out to me a few weeks ago. We went out several times but she’s showing none of the signs the typical woman is when she’s interested. Here’s the kicker, she pursues me like you wouldn’t believe, says she’s really into me (I didn’t bring it up, she did), says she’s not in a place for a relationship but she doesn’t want to be just friends either. Claims she has a low sex drive (I guessed mental health reasons?), says she never makes eye contact and holds it cause it makes her feel vulnerable, doesn’t flirt like normal woman. Basically everything that’s taught on here that a woman does if she’s into you this girl doesn’t do. Yet she claims to be really into me and wants to date. For instance, I can ask her out to do ANYTHING and she will jump at it with a big yes. She won’t have Sex with me though because she blames low sex drive.lol I swear just when I think I’ve seen it and heard it all I get to meet a woman that surprises me and I have no idea how to react. I can’t really ghost her cause she’s friends with my friends girlfriend and I know he will flip out. But damn chasing after some girl with all these backwards issues even if she’s into me like she claims.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She says one thing, my gut says different
- Thread starter Robert28
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
The dead eye and supposed low sex drive on a attractive babe was in my experience an energy parasite. She will consume you as you chase her strongly and try to make her have feelings. She had a few other personas with others she may be lively and have a strong sex drive. Babes wanna be round who they interested in and she will be looking at you alot. Dont fall for the okie doke.
That’s what’s so confusing, she wants to be around me. She’s pursuing me like any girl with high interest would. I just don’t buy the low sex drive thing, don’t really buy the no eye contact thing but I understand some girls can have an issue with that. I’ve just never met a girl that didn’t want to be friends, wants to date but not be in a relationship, says she’s very into me but has low sex drive. I swear man, I’ve never heard so much bs as I have in the last 2 years. Dating has really taken a tumble lol
Cmon bro, ignore the BS that she threw at you. (huge pile of shait)
It is something else for sure, yet at this point it will be inadequate to even try to guess it.
Few reasons that come to mind - wants to keep you around, waiting for someone else, some medical issues, huge issues with self esteem.... you know that the list can go over 1000...
My coin on the situation - withdraw and see what she will do, you will be able to tell how to proceed based on her actions. You didn't **** - you are her girlfriend... Not to mention that ****ing is actually bonding to most women.
backseatjuan
Banned
Turn on male hypergamy. Always be on look out for finer btches. Few months ago? Technology is a btch, always keeps getting better, upgrade time.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I’m getting the feeling her being able to pair bond is broken though. Just from things she’s said about past relationships she’s had. I think she could have self esteem issues too, I dunno if she’s on any medication or not though. I can’t pull back anymore than I have been, she always contacsts me first and she even mention that she waits to see if I contact her first lol
That’s what’s so weird, she went out of her way to look me up and stay in touch with me. She’s not the only girl in my life but she’s making the same effort if not more than other girls I’m sleeping with are making, she just doesn’t want to have sex. Like I said it’s a weird situation and something I’ve never come across until now.
did you ask for sex, or tried to scalate to a heavy makeout at least?
I could guess she is using you for validation, and her sex life is comming from someone else, tossing ultimatums are not a good thing, but I guess its time you tell her you won't waste more time with her if sex is out of the table, or just invite her to do things when you had nothing to do, something like you wanted to go out a day and no one wanted you then invite her
I could guess she is using you for validation, and her sex life is comming from someone else, tossing ultimatums are not a good thing, but I guess its time you tell her you won't waste more time with her if sex is out of the table, or just invite her to do things when you had nothing to do, something like you wanted to go out a day and no one wanted you then invite her
Invite her to your place and advance, see what happens.
How are you gonna escalate with a girl that says she has a low sex drive? I don’t think she’s seeing anyone else, I mean I have no proof but this didn’t seem like someone that had any other options besides me for now. Like I said this is a weird situation and doesn’t follow any rules being taught on here at all. Never seen anything like this in my 36 years lol
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Not sure I want to invite her to my place. I’m trying to figure out if this girl has anxiety or depression issues first, which could be the whole low sex drive reason. This girl is hot but something is broken about her, not sure I want that all up in my house.
the same way as any other woman, kinno and start to scale, problem one you belive on what she is saying, if half of what you said is true, and she want to spend time, she secretly want it too, but maybe it her anti slut shield or something, or she is laying the grounds in the future when she is not interested anymore she can pull the I told you. but as a men you need to take action, if she block you on the way then you get you answer and can start to get busy with someone else.
or get busy with someone else already and move on
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Robert28. Im sure the collective wisdom will conclude each of us screwed ourselves behind any woman we overanalyzed.
backseatjuan
Banned
Haha! She does not want to be another hoe.
Does she have a power of vag*na to trap and imprison you?
Does she have a power of vag*na to trap and imprison you?
Well luckily she isn’t my only option so I don’t have to invest much into her. She’s investing more into me though, this girl is pursuing me very aggressively. I’ve tried to escalate but I can only get so far before I get shut down. This isn’t a oneitis case at all, I was more curious if other men had heard the “low sex drive” excuse from women before and if it was legit or just an excuse. I know some medication and BC women take does have an effect on sex drive but I don’t know how that lines up with her.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
No lol she has to work hard to get me to hangout. This girl knows I’m not so easily swayed and if she’s smart she would have put two and two together by now that her claiming low sex drive has turned me off on her.
I tend to overanilyze when I encounter a women that throws up barriers I have no prior experience with. Seems to be happening more often the last couple of years too which is weird because I thought I’d seen it all. I have a lot of dating experience and experience with women but lately it’s like they’re throwing stuff at me I have no clue how to react to.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She might do it because men fall for it. Show disinterest in response to her wierdness.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Don't fake it. Just be round someone showing more obvious interest.
Tilex
Master Don Juan
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She's an attention wh0re with you, but has another dude she's sexually interested in on the back burner.
I've seen and experienced this before.
She's enjoying your non-sexual attention because you keep giving it away for free.
I've seen and experienced this before.
She's enjoying your non-sexual attention because you keep giving it away for free.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.