"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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She Said, "You Demand Too Much"

Fela Kuti

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It doesn't matter you should not be bothered if he's new or old.
-So you're saying that it's okay for her to "date" other men freely? I'm sure many wouldn't agree with you on this.

I don't understand. Please explain.
-Well, one day when we're talking, I found out that she have a big secret that known only to her selected friends. She wouldn't tell me what it was, and still is. So I felt that her trust level was low.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JDA70

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It doesn't matter you should not be bothered if he's new or old.
-So you're saying that it's okay for her to "date" other men freely? I'm sure many wouldn't agree with you on this.
No I'm not say that at all.
I was simply saying to not worry
if she talks to other guys. If shes talks to others guys
don't go thinking shes cheating on you.

I don't understand. Please explain.
-Well, one day when we're talking, I found out that she have a big secret that known only to her selected friends. She wouldn't tell me what it was, and still is. So I felt that her trust level was low.
Did you ask her why she won't tell you?
 

Fela Kuti

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No I'm not say that at all.
I was simply saying to not worry
if she talks to other guys. If shes talks to others guys
don't go thinking shes cheating on you.
-While on the topic, how can I found out if my gf is cheating or not without coming as insecure?


Did you ask her why she won't tell you?
-She said it's because she's afraid it might change my perception on her. That made me even more curious!
 

Fela Kuti

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one thing i don't like about my gf is she likes to say, "i don't like you" or "you're cruel" or "you're annoying" or something like that out of the blue, mainly on sms. but when i ask why is that, she answers, "no reason. haha, just kidding." I don't know about you, but this annoys me. Because she wouldn't have said that if she's really kidding. She's kinda passive aggressive. She's not used to tell directly her problems to me. What should I do? Pushing her for an answer might only get her pressured.
 
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Fela Kuti said:
one thing i don't like about my gf is she likes to say, "i don't like you" or "you're cruel" or "you're annoying" or something like that out of the blue, mainly on sms. but when i ask why is that, she answers, "no reason. haha, just kidding." I don't know about you, but this annoys me. Because she wouldn't have said that if she's really kidding. She's kinda passive aggressive. She's not used to tell directly her problems to me. What should I do? Pushing her for an answer might only get her pressured.
Don't trust her - she is playing with your head!!

When you have to make "demands" on what should already be known and practiced, then you know that something is wrong - she is not the girl for you!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Fela Kuti

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Last Man Standing said:
Don't trust her - she is playing with your head!!

When you have to make "demands" on what should already be known and practiced, then you know that something is wrong - she is not the girl for you!
don't trust what? her saying i'm cruel? or her saying she's kidding?
 
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Don't trust her! A g/f who calls you annoying is not trustworthy!! If she does this often then it is not a joke anymore!!
 

Fela Kuti

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hmmm, really? you got any examples? btw, she always type that in joking way. for example: "you're annoying :p haha"
 
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You can't get emotion over a computer - so maybe she is joking
But the issue here is her comments about your demands - a demand is made only when it is not being already done!! Too many demands tells me that you are not compatible and in the end you will be disappointed because she will do as she wants anyway - behind your back - then you'll be pissed and feel disrespected!!
 

Fela Kuti

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no no, i don't think the problem is not that serious. my demands are not heavy and in the end, she agreed to fulfill it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Fela Kuti said:
no no, i don't think the problem is not that serious. my demands are not heavy and in the end, she agreed to fulfill it.
I know they are not heavy that is the problem! If she thinks that these demands are out of the ordinary then this is a cause for concern. These demands are a given and shouldn't be looked at as demands.
 

Fela Kuti

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oh i see what you mean. but her complaint was not about the demands itself. she didn't mind to fulfill them AFAIK. but her complaint is about how I often make demands.
 
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