"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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She said she'd go out with me, but she has a bf... what now?

Skriz

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First post here guys, so take it easy with me ;)

A little preface - I consult for a living (computers) and I've been spending a lot of time at a particular dentist's office lately due to some major upgrades. (Please note, I'm not the "geek" type ;) ) There's this hygenist that I've had my eye on since day one and over the past three weeks, we've been "flirting" back and forth pretty heavily - at least thats how I perceive it anyway. Whenever I get the chance, I stop by her room and try to make small talk, etc. On top of that, it turns out that we frequent the same bars "afterhours" ;)

So after beating myself in the head over it for over a week, I finally asked her out. I made sure we were the last two to leave the office, and just as we were walking out the door, I said I had something to ask her. She asked what, and I said: "What would you say if I asked you out to dinner and a movie?" She replied with "I would say YES, but I have a boyfriend." I was so speechless, the only thing I could say was "Oh, I'm sorry.", to which she replied, "No, I'm sorry".... At this point, I pretty much just walked away and went to my car. I dont 'remember' anything after that. I was just speechless. After thinking it through afterwards, a good save to that would be to say "Thats OK, he doesn't have to come!" (Not sure if this is assholish or what at this point) :confused:

So, now I'm wondering - how do I re-approach her, or better yet, SHOULD I re-approach her? I am REALLY into this girl, more than anyone I've ever been. We are still exchanging smiles and messing around during the day, so I know I didn't freak her out, in case you were wondering how it went the day after when we saw eachother at work. She really brightens up my day the minute she walks through the door. On another note, I'm kind of suspicious of her "boyfriend". After talking to a few friends about my situation and reading here on the forums, it seems that women will often use the "I already have a BF" thing to "test" the guy who asks her out, even if she doesnt really have one.

HELP!!!!!!

Skriz

PS: I'm 21 and she's 23
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DonJuanQuixote

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Understand that girls love to flirt. What you might have perceived as interest was probably just her being playful. You are obviously infatuated with her. Get over it. If it makes you feel good, ask her again, but I would'nt count on it.

Do this soon. You are entering oneitis mode.
 

TizZle

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shoulda used the mr fingers i have a boyfriend too line =)
 

Skriz

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Well, I was really hoping you guys were gonna tell me to just ask her out again, but oh well. I'll keep up the flirting and see what happens... i'll wait a few weeks and maybe ask her out in a "friendly" manner (not to be confused with the "friend zone") ;)

Any more insight from you lurkers out there?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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