"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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She said she'd go out with me, but she has a bf... what now?

Skriz

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First post here guys, so take it easy with me ;)

A little preface - I consult for a living (computers) and I've been spending a lot of time at a particular dentist's office lately due to some major upgrades. (Please note, I'm not the "geek" type ;) ) There's this hygenist that I've had my eye on since day one and over the past three weeks, we've been "flirting" back and forth pretty heavily - at least thats how I perceive it anyway. Whenever I get the chance, I stop by her room and try to make small talk, etc. On top of that, it turns out that we frequent the same bars "afterhours" ;)

So after beating myself in the head over it for over a week, I finally asked her out. I made sure we were the last two to leave the office, and just as we were walking out the door, I said I had something to ask her. She asked what, and I said: "What would you say if I asked you out to dinner and a movie?" She replied with "I would say YES, but I have a boyfriend." I was so speechless, the only thing I could say was "Oh, I'm sorry.", to which she replied, "No, I'm sorry".... At this point, I pretty much just walked away and went to my car. I dont 'remember' anything after that. I was just speechless. After thinking it through afterwards, a good save to that would be to say "Thats OK, he doesn't have to come!" (Not sure if this is assholish or what at this point) :confused:

So, now I'm wondering - how do I re-approach her, or better yet, SHOULD I re-approach her? I am REALLY into this girl, more than anyone I've ever been. We are still exchanging smiles and messing around during the day, so I know I didn't freak her out, in case you were wondering how it went the day after when we saw eachother at work. She really brightens up my day the minute she walks through the door. On another note, I'm kind of suspicious of her "boyfriend". After talking to a few friends about my situation and reading here on the forums, it seems that women will often use the "I already have a BF" thing to "test" the guy who asks her out, even if she doesnt really have one.

HELP!!!!!!

Skriz

PS: I'm 21 and she's 23
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DonJuanQuixote

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Understand that girls love to flirt. What you might have perceived as interest was probably just her being playful. You are obviously infatuated with her. Get over it. If it makes you feel good, ask her again, but I would'nt count on it.

Do this soon. You are entering oneitis mode.
 

TizZle

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shoulda used the mr fingers i have a boyfriend too line =)
 

Skriz

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Well, I was really hoping you guys were gonna tell me to just ask her out again, but oh well. I'll keep up the flirting and see what happens... i'll wait a few weeks and maybe ask her out in a "friendly" manner (not to be confused with the "friend zone") ;)

Any more insight from you lurkers out there?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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