"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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she said i was intense

cNfny

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not in a good way, this chick i started talkin to online and we had left off on a good note. stopped talkin to me so i sent her a text askin what her deal was and she said "you're really intense" so i replied with "i know isnt it great? i guess i'll go be "intense" with someone else who can handle it"

wondering how to properly handle a situation like this
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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szof

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In my AFC recovery days I was once called "intense." I think it was because, I had too much passion and my personality was too strong.

It may mean, therefore, you need to become more aloof and detached - that is, if you want to cater to her frame. Alternatively, you can continue what you're doing and put her in your frame. Depends on your style - I'd recommend the latter.
 

aussiegoat55

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I was called intense once by a girl, had no idea what she meant, if it was good or bad, but I think what she meant is that I made her feel intense emotions. As long as you make a girl feel something that's a start, haha.
 

cNfny

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It may mean, therefore, you need to become more aloof and detached - that is, if you want to cater to her frame
what exactly do you mean?

also is there anyway to get this girl's interest back, was my response appropiate?
 

kratosnofear

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It sounds like your being too needy. Why did you need to ask what her deal is? You shouldn't care what her deal is, you should have just talked to her like everything is all good because in a DJs mindset it really is all good considering a DJ has other girls he's enjoying. Your response probably creeped her out even more, I doubt you could salvage this.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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