"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She offers to pay?

A

AriMamba

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What do you do in a situation where a woman offers to pay for your meal or drinks, when is not the first time you have been out with this person?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Serenity

Serenity

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Some guys really need to let go of chivalry, women don't like it and those who do are probably just using men as free meals.

I let her pay. Most people like a sense of fairness and gets a bad conscience if they're given more than they give back.
 
ubercat

ubercat

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Totally agree and even if it is a first date if she wants to let her pay. Generally it's a sign she doesn't want to be obligated to you and your not getting any so no profit in paying for a chick who isn't going to put out.
 
marmel75

marmel75

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In my experience a woman who offers to pay initially on a first date isnt interested in you..its almost like its a way of her saying if "I pay for everything he wont think I 'owe him something'"

I'm talking specifically immediately upon meeting up on the date, not once you buy the first drink and she offers to buy the next round...that typically signifies interest...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Duke

The Duke

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Its always to your benefit to allow people to invest in you. People that are invested have deeper interest, feel they are desired, are more committed, and there will be a greater chance of the relationship succeeding. Its natural for people to want to be a part of something and this is one way she can. Works the same in business.
 
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