"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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She kissed another guy and now is begging...

styleman

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A girl I was/am seeing kissed some other guy after I left at a party. I know because a friend photographed her, and friends told me...
I am ignoring her calls... she calls 10+ times a day for the last two days, I as yet, have not answered...
She's sent texts saying things like:
"Please, please talk to me! Xxxx"
"Baby, I'm sorry, I was really drunk the other night, I don't know what I was doing, please talk to me. I'm sorry. Xxxx"

What would you do?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Daddy The Pimp

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Once cheater , always cheater .

If u want , go out with her one more time or two , do all u wanna do with her and than say i cant continue this since i know that when ur not with me u can be with other guys .

Or or , if it happened to me i would just say to fvck off , to forget about me .

But i would give her a good offer :D . To be my sex buddy :D Nothing more , nothing less
 

nando

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tell her to fck off, cuz if u take her back she will do it again, trust me ....
 

KontrollerX

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Yep, once a cheater always a cheater.

Alcohol is simply an excuse to do what she wanted to do all along.

What I would do is next this one. She's worthless to you.

"tell her to fck off, cuz if u take her back she will do it again, trust me ...."

Exactly and this isn't even the worst possibility.

The worst possibility is she could be begging to get you back with her so that in the future she gets to be the one that dumps you and in so doing keeps her fragile ego together while in the meanwhile you get to feel all the horrible emotions that come with that as well as feeling like a dumb fvck for not cutting this cancer loose sooner.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Were you just "seeing" her or were you actually "dating" her? There's a difference. Either way, you could use her current desperation to make it up to you to your own advantage or you can do like everyone else and just throw away the opportunity.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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everywomanshero

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I wouldn't be tht upset man. She got drunk and *kissed* a guy. Big sh1t.

Here's what you do: Tell her yu'r pissed and you want her to make it up to you. How? By doing a threesome with another girl and you.

Fair?
 

styleman

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Were you just "seeing" her or were you actually "dating" her? There's a difference. Either way, you could use her current desperation to make it up to you to your own advantage or you can do like everyone else and just throw away the opportunity.

Thank you to everyone for the advice.

I was not properly 'dating' (as you put it) her, just seeing, as in we had slept with each other plenty of times, but it was not what one would call a committal relationship.
 

Master Bates

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The "I was drunk" excuse is always bullsh1t. She was well aware of what she was doing and she used the fact that she was drunk as justification for doing something she knew was wrong. Think about it, would she feel so guilty and be begging for your forgiveness if nobody had caught her and told you about it?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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styleman said:
Thank you to everyone for the advice.

I was not properly 'dating' (as you put it) her, just seeing, as in we had slept with each other plenty of times, but it was not what one would call a committal relationship.
That puts a different spin on things. Think about this, if she were not taking your "seeing each other" relationship somewhat seriously, she wouldn't be making a big deal out of her so called indiscretions. Also, be careful of your so-called friends actions. For some reason they either don't know the true nature of your relationship or they are drama seekers. Whatever it may be, don't let it derail your game.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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I have to go with everywomanshero and Master Bates on this one.
 

AfRoSwiss-Disiac

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She knew what she was doing...Alcohol just gives you the guts to do it :)
 

KarmaSutra

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AfRoSwiss-Disiac said:
She knew what she was doing...Alcohol just gives you the guts to do it :)
Agreed. Although I would use the term excuse in exchange for guts. We don't need booze to get the nerve up to do something. What we get "drunk" for is the plausable deniability afterwards to do what we want.
 

young_gun

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This is an interesting situation. First of all, I would say that because you aren't exclusively dating, she didn't do anything wrong. Since she isn't your girlfriend, she doesn't really have to answer to you right now, just like you don't have to answer to her.

However, the fact that you were at the same party and this happened after you had left is really f*cked up. Inside, she knew that you would get upset about this if you found out about it, but she went ahead and did it anyway. Alcohol is no excuse. It really isn't all that big of a deal that she kissed this guy (this kind of sh*t happens all the time) but if you two end up dating in the near future, this is something that is going to mess with your head for a while. It's something you can get over, but take some time to evaluate her character. If she proves to you that she is someone you can trust, then it's probably best for the both of you for you to just drop it (remember, she wasn't your girlfriend when it happened). But if it's something you can't get over, or you find that she can't be trusted, drop her @ss like a sack of potatoes. The foundation for a healthy relationship is being able to trust your partner, and if you can't do that, it would be best not to date her.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Bible_Belt

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All I see here is opportunity. If you would stop boo-hooing about your feelings and give up the self-pity, you could get a lot of great sex out of this. Start fvcking her friends. When she finds out, she will forgive you, because in her mind she deserved it for cheating. She would probably throw herself at you even more. If she doesn't (she will, at least the first few times) then all of her friends will want you, anyway. But she'll know that, thus the throwing herself at you.
 

Rata Blanca

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You are mad with your friend with benefits
(Read: NON-MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP)
because she was kissing another guy?

She is not your freaking girlfriend. Stop treating her like one.
 

DonJuan11

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styleman said:
A girl I was/am seeing kissed some other guy after I left at a party. I know because a friend photographed her, and friends told me...
I am ignoring her calls... she calls 10+ times a day for the last two days, I as yet, have not answered...
She's sent texts saying things like:
"Please, please talk to me! Xxxx"
"Baby, I'm sorry, I was really drunk the other night, I don't know what I was doing, please talk to me. I'm sorry. Xxx
You're friend photographed her kissing another guy and showed it to you? Sounds like this "friend" is in love with her too.

By ignoring her calls, that means you have feelings for her. If you didn't, you would say "no problem, lets go to Burger King". Better make sure she understands you really like her and stop playing games with her.
 

styleman

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Rata Blanca said:
You are mad with your friend with benefits
(Read: NON-MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP)
because she was kissing another guy?

She is not your freaking girlfriend. Stop treating her like one.
What??

I'm sorry, but if I don't want to keep ****ing a woman if she's ****ing someone else on the side...
I'm not the one treating her like a girlfriend. I think it just makes me look like a stupid coon if she's ****ing me and another guy at the same time, so I'm not going to put up with it.
 

styleman

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Bible_Belt said:
All I see here is opportunity. If you would stop boo-hooing about your feelings and give up the self-pity, you could get a lot of great sex out of this. Start fvcking her friends. When she finds out, she will forgive you, because in her mind she deserved it for cheating. She would probably throw herself at you even more. If she doesn't (she will, at least the first few times) then all of her friends will want you, anyway. But she'll know that, thus the throwing herself at you.
The night after, I ****ed one of her friends, but she does not know about it yet...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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