She is ignoring

[ialphamaster]

Hey members,

Just finished reading the Dj bible and so thought to share my situation here.

I met this girl few month's back, on face book - via mutual friend's. We talked for hours and finally met each other.

It was all going awesome but the bad part, I didn't knew anything about attraction, and that attraction is different for boy's and girl's. My belief was that all I need to attract a girl is look's.

But after reading all the material available on this wonderful website, I've come to realize that behavior play's a bigger role then our physical looks.

So I've learnt it but unfortunately I'm already stuck in this tough situation.

As an AFC, I gave her all the attention and played the role of "Nice and clingy" guy by calling her all the time expecting her to give me all her time. It all still kept going fine but few months back, I noticed her getting distant so I talked with a colleague of mine and he advised me to talk with her straight forwardly, which I think was a WRONG advice and I did this. I talked to her, asked her what's bothering you that you're getting distant? And told her that no talks is just like no love.

What she said? She said that it's nothing wrong and she's just busy in studies, it's true that she's studying very harder but guess what? She's doing this from the start. So why distant all of a sudden?

Well after this, I noticed thing's getting fine again and she again started talking to me. I thanked god and this went great again.

But now all of a sudden, it happened again. She don't talk, it's only me calling her and starting the talks. And her behavior is very rough, she don't tell anything from herself. It's just me discussing thing's with her and doing all the talks. But before, she used to tell me all the stuff of her friend's and her personal stuff.

So yesterday I got heated up (but controlled my anger) and I texted her asking what's wrong?

I said if she's no more into me, she can tell and no questions will be asked but if she kept acting strange then this I don't like. I asked her to tell me if I unintentionally did something due to which she's distant all of a sudden.

She said that I always keep asking this one thing that what's the reason of her changed behavior, this annoys her because when there is nothing wrong so how can she tell me what is wrong.

So I said when you don't talk at all, you expect me to think all is well?

And she said there is nothing wrong at all, it's only your misunderstanding and because your overthinking about it, when I don't talk to you, I also don't talk to other people.

Then I said her we used to be very understanding but thing's are getting ruined so let's just be how we were, let's finish all these arguments so end with the topic. She agreed happily and then we talked for 3 hour's on call ( Didn't even notice that we talked 3 hours).

But the problem is I'm sure something is wrong, it's I'm sure she's losing interest and maybe some interest is still left so she's at least not ending it up.

Kindly advice me some methods to bring her interest level back as it was. I know I've ruined the situation by asking her reason of avoiding me but still there must be some way's.

I guess she think's that if she won't text me, i'll call her so what If I start ignoring her? She wouldn't be expecting this from me and this may shock her.

I don't want those advices like "Move on, find a new one" and all. I want some solution to do with this girl.

Kind regards,
iAlphaMaster.

 

[foreverAFC]

dont be that guy who is constantly asking her whats wrong, cause she isnt going to tell you anyway, it will make you look very desperate

this one is over, the solution is to move on and not make these mistakes with the next woman

 

[Purefilth]

Not interested - NEXT

 

[alpha_ash]

I'm going to do you a favor because this is what you need absolute most right now.

YOU ARE BEING A ****ING LOSER AND SHE CAN SEE IT.

Now, for a solution. You need to stop initiating text/phone conversations with her. If she contacts you set up a time to meet in person. If she has 3 hours to talk to a ***** (yeah you) on the phone, then she has enough free time to see that ***** in person for an hour or two.

If she says she doesn't then her interest has dropped. At this point you go no contact again and see what she does. You have made far too many moves consecutively in this game of chess. Let her play a bit.

Edit: if you continue this pvssy behavior then please change your name on this forum to something that matches because you are far from being alpha.

 

[Mr. Bond]

You're in the friendzone. Big time. So far in the friendzone, that you're unlikely to ever get out of it with her.

Part of becoming good with women is understanding that no one woman is special, no matter how much you think she is right now. Another part of becoming good with them is understanding that you need to let go of them. Stop caring so much! You are so attached to the outcome you want (getting the girl) that you will never ever get it.

You are playing to avoid losing right now. Play to win. Let go of this girl, and all girls. Start gaming lots of them.

Good for you for reading the bible. It's a great start. I think you should read it again, though. You are not applying the principles laid out in it.

Good luck.

 

[ialphamaster]

Well almost all of you guy's haven't done what I asked you to.

I don't want those advices like "Move on, find a new one" and all. I want some solution to do with this girl.

So I need advices to plan about what to do with this women to regain her interest. And how much are the chances.

 

[Plutoman]

You aren't understanding that there is no solution to getting back the girl. This relationship is done.

If you are choosing not to move on, then you are very evidently ignoring the advice given to you in the DJ Bible.

Would you rather continue to play a game you've already lost, wasting months of your time, or close it out, accept the loss, and start up a new round?

 

[Mr. Bond]

Well almost all of you guy's haven't done what I asked you to.


So I need advices to plan about what to do with this women to regain her interest. And how much are the chances.

I know what you're asking. The point is that what you want is almost impossible, and continuing to focus on it will only hurt you.

 

[Trailboss]

This isn't some Dear Abbey relationship site bro: It's a "pickup women and bang the sh*t outta them" site...nobody cares that you got a bad case of Oneitis and want to continue playing a losing game...your getting the "wrong" answers cus you are asking the "wrong" questions. Bang 'em and move on, is the basic premise here...you already got the only relevant answer that can come from this site: NEXT!

 

[Cremasta]

Ok, so you want to keep this girl around, it's your call...

She is either not very interested in you, or you both are simply not that compatible (you like to talk, she doesn't).

You don't have many options open to you, but here's one:

From now on, you do NOT ask her what she wants to do. You find interesting and fun things that you want to do and you INFORM her of what you'll be doing and that she is welcome to come along.
For example "Hey HB, I'm heading off to the beach tomorrow morning, if you want to come along, let me know."
Someone studying hard is fine, good for her. But don't let her write the script anymore, it's obvious you don't have the lead part.

You really should trust your gut though.

 

[foreverAFC]

Well almost all of you guy's haven't done what I asked you to.


So I need advices to plan about what to do with this women to regain her interest. And how much are the chances.

maybe you should keep asking her what you did wrong and call her more, she will eventually fall in love you with you right

 

[Crazystarf]

@OP: something everyone else has not said is that the girl here is clearly disrespecting you. Assuming that you've given her some free space and stuff, the best solution here is to ignore her (emphasizing this). If she slowly comes back to you, there's a chance that it can be salvaged.

However if I was in your shoes, I would just move on and find a different girl altogether.

 

[VladPatton]

Look, you don't have to follow what we advise, most likely you think we are wrong when we tell you to Next her and that is your call.

Here's the real deal, like it or not:

You have a window of opportunity to make your moves on a girl. These so called 'moves' are a way of ensuring you do not end up in your current position. Excessive calling and texting, acting like one of her girlfriends does not make you score points with a woman. You get dropped in The Friend Zone. The fence is high, electric, and most likely you will not get out. Once you are here, abandon all hope of a sexual relationship. This is not bųllṣhit from this particular site. Look it up on the net, it is well known.

In response to your question regarding your girl:

You fųcked it up pretty bad and she lost every ounce of attraction for you. It is a classic text book scenario. You can keep persisting, but one day she will tell you to fųck off when she gets herself an actual boyfriend. You, my friend, are gonna be one hurt, pissed off panda!

Let this girl go, it is finished. Let HER contact you for a change. If she doesn't, guess what? NOT INTERESTED. Face the music like a man and give her peace. Do yourself a favor and read this:

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

Now, do us a favor and change your name, we'll make believe this post never happened.

 

[ialphamaster]

@OP: something everyone else has not said is that the girl here is clearly disrespecting you. Assuming that you've given her some free space and stuff, the best solution here is to ignore her (emphasizing this). If she slowly comes back to you, there's a chance that it can be salvaged.

However if I was in your shoes, I would just move on and find a different girl altogether.

I didn't gave her the space, that's the problem. I kept asking as I've said in the first post. I kept on asking for the reason of changed behavior. And well she isn't disrespecting me, her behavior is just okay and acceptable. The quality is acceptable but quantity is not. I meant to say the amount of time she spend with me is not acceptable but when she talk, it's still acceptable as last time we talked, she again did some talks on her own.

Like all my classmate's and friend's, you've also advised me to ignore you. But what's the logic behind ignoring her? Is there chances that she'll try to come to me slowly? And if that happened, I'll have some attitude.

And my plan is, I want her to at least try talking to me, and then I'll take time to talk to her, i'll **** my response time to her texts and that MAY make her wonder that what happened. And as a result she'll be exactly in the same situation where I am, but for that to happen -- she must at least talk to me on her own.

And everyone else, as you're advising me to change the name. Well I used to be a "BETA" but I picked up this name when I started learning about attraction and the dj bible. The situation in which I'm right now is due to my old wussy behavior.

 

[backseatjuan]

If a girl is ignoring you or isn't receptive towards you then she's not worth your time.

Stop looking at women from the scarcity point of view.

A lot of women are f`cked up and rotten on the inside, find a good apple for yourself. The bad you don't want, because it tastes sower.

 

[Trailboss]

Dude...you need to go No Contact NOW. Is that what you wanted to hear? You may have to resolve yourself to going No Contact for 60 days...are you prepared to do that? Bottom line is: you are in her subconscious, somewhere. She may not know *where* you fit in, but she *will* miss you once you are not there. Women miss a fu**ing tiny earring if the lose it! If some guy just suddenly drops out of her life for no reason: she will notice it. But...it's going to take a lot of ballz on your part: once you go NC, you will FAIL if you end it before the imposed time limit. Are you prepared to do that...?

 

[Blistex]

I don't want those advices like "Move on, find a new one" and all. I want some solution to do with this girl.

Women like mystery and right now you've been too predictable by contacting her regularly. You should go No Contact because that will create mystery in her mind as to why you no longer are contacting her regularly like you used to. She most likely will contact you to find out why you've stopped contacting her but you've got to play it like you don't care about her and have more important things to do than to sit around and listen to her talk. It's all a game and either you know how to play it or you don't.

You're too focused on this girl and way too emotionally invested as well. If she gets a boyfriend that's not you, I can bet one million dollars you'll become depressed and beat yourself up for it. You need to detach yourself from this girl, meet more women, expand your list of options and spin some plates.

Right now, you're thinking of how to get this girl after making a ton of AFC errors. So things already got off to a bad start and the interest level is low which is why people are telling you to move on. It is very good advice and could play to your advantage. If you take the advice of going NC, not caring about her and meeting more women - there is a possibility she will notice, become jealous and this could up the interest level working to your advantage. This is the only option that can achieve what you want but it will only work if you don't think about her any more because I can tell your life is too centered around her = desperate and clingy.

 

[ialphamaster]

Women like mystery and right now you've been too predictable by contacting her regularly. You should go No Contact because that will create mystery in her mind as to why you no longer are contacting her regularly like you used to. She most likely will contact you to find out why you've stopped contacting her but you've got to play it like you don't care about her and have more important things to do than to sit around and listen to her talk. It's all a game and either you know how to play it or you don't.

You're too focused on this girl and way too emotionally invested as well. If she gets a boyfriend that's not you, I can bet one million dollars you'll become depressed and beat yourself up for it. You need to detach yourself from this girl, meet more women, expand your list of options and spin some plates.

Right now, you're thinking of how to get this girl after making a ton of AFC errors. So things already got off to a bad start and the interest level is low which is why people are telling you to move on. It is very good advice and could play to your advantage. If you take the advice of going NC, not caring about her and meeting more women - there is a possibility she will notice, become jealous and this could up the interest level working to your advantage. This is the only option that can achieve what you want but it will only work if you don't think about her any more because I can tell your life is too centered around her = desperate and clingy.

A real advice, really appreciate it. And well so I stopped talking to her and texting her. Went NC, for 2 days or 3 only. The first day she didn't texted but on 2nd she texted me and then we talked and her mood was on as well, now today, she acted a lot more better behavior wise, but still talked very less. I didn't asked her to talk, just she was the one to end conversation and I did. I know it should be me to first end conversation but I can see her behavior is improving and it's just 3 day's.

 

[benzo_72]

Alot of GREAT advice here man. I too have been through this and i agree with them and say go to NC. I know this because i have done this. Everything aas great then for no reason at all she got distant. Yes its normal to ask why, but if your persistant about it, you will look pathetic. So it took a week of NC and just as predicted she starts to text late one night, i didnt reply. The next morning text after text and i still didnt answerright away. So then she starts to call persistantly, back to back. I let her sweat it out, i return her call later. It says that i have a life, i dont depend on her, nor do i need her. Everything went back to normalm for a bit, then she is doibg it again. So i do nothing, she comes back again!! Then we meet up again, hace a great time and so on. Best of luck to you... people here seem to know their stufff, listen to them!!

 

[ialphamaster]

Okay so during NC, if she contacts me, should I talk normally or a reserved/ignoring attitude?