"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She has doubts. Next? Indifference? No contact?
- Thread starter Lateralus
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I couldn't keep myself surfing the forum searching about cluster B women. Very good threads about it. A lot of her characteristics fit under this 'cluster B' classification. The honeymoon beginning: she recognized that what she felt with me was special and nothing like other relationships and that was the way she treated me. It was like heaven.
When we got 'official' things began to change and she started acting more and more distant and sometimes like a monster. It was never good enough, very negative, mood swings.. it made me more insecure and I started to get more and more jealous. She recently, before we broke up, went out with her girlfriends and I saw new guys added to facebook. I was so insecure about our relationship that I asked who they were and she got angry because I asked. After that everything went downhill quickly.
But whatever happened, BPD or not, I just can't understand how someone reacts so cold to a break up.
Anyway, I guess it's not relevant anymore. But I do have the "What the **** just happened!!?" feeling right now.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Nothing was ever "official" with you two. You mean nothing to her yet you are all broken up about some girl that isn't even interested in you.
Until you have fvcked a girl, she is only a prospect or a potential plate.
You are never "official" until after you have fvcked her and then you let the woman decide the relationship. You just keep fvcking her.
Go meet more women, identify more prospects, qualify your prospects, try to fvck them all, and then spin as many plates as you can until you find one that is worthy of being "official" or exclusive with in a LTR with.
Die Hard
Master Don Juan
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I'm sure your resolve to stay away from her is strong right now, but it isn't gonna stay like that, you will experience weak moments... Seek advice and support on SoSuave on those moments.
You will have to deal with your need for "closure" and try to make sense of this whole affair you had with her.... Be sure to seek the answers OVER HERE, instead of succumbing to your urge to contact her!
I must have missed that fact when reading your thread. My bad.Lateralus said:
You had your fun with her. No reason to let her continue to plague your mind.
Cut off all contact and make her jealous by ignoring her and becoming the best man you can be. Continuous improvement of yourself throughout life and spin, spin, spin more plates.
I promise when you have lots of options your mind does not have time to worry about one girl.
Your goal is not to get her back. Your goal is to have your revenge by being the best man you can possibly be and finding a better woman so she will always have to live with the regret of letting you get away.
Good luck! Go out and have some fun.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
What a drama Queen,her strange behaviour suggests that she has read these tactics in some Fem Magazine or other....If you want to get close again,just push her away....Much easier to play your own game if you spin a few Plates...This Girl is just for fun,she is not a keeper,don't move in with her,she is controlling and perhaps dangerous,this business about wanting "To hit you in the face" is a definite alarm bell...Should you escalate the relationship to de-facto or worse,she will exploit your vulnerability in very destructive ways.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
. Although I'm not sure how to weapon myself against mockery or something...I have had fun with her and her behavior was definitely not normal. Those rages and everything... red flags.
Thanks for the site Mauser, I was already on it. Very good one.
HoneyHitter
Senior Don Juan
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Lol, I swear this girl must be 8 y/o. :crackup:Lateralus said:
I will keep at it at least 30 days.Jules_Winfield
Don Juan
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When I was younger, I was messing up the end of relationships until a friend told me to never end things on bad terms. They will eventually contacted you down the line, then you can use them as booty calls. I only allow things to end on bad terms if the sex is bad.
Another thing: you are special, but not that special. When they contact you it's because they are currently in a bad relationship, just left a relationship, or they're lonely. You can date them if you want, but don't make it long-term. You will be a placeholder.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
If you get that chance, it will be when you no longer care if you do. Either way, you might as well answer "no" to your own question.Lateralus said:
I read this thread, and the last message I've quoted and I can feel your frustration. I almost guarantee she can too.
Scar gave you good advice and Jules brings up a very good point too.
Some people are ultra sensitive to your mood / desire / feelings. For instance, if it's out of character for you to ignore her or anyone, then she likely feels she is still in control with you avoiding eye contact.
Best thing you can do is be a bigger man, smile, say hello if eye contact occurs and go about your life without her in it. When you truly accept that direction and live it, that's when she'll notice. Reiterating what I said in the first place ... you may / should not even care if she notices.
1) your frustration will be solved as you replace her.
2) your hunger will be sated on another.
Spend no more time on this thread. Start a new thread on your plan / implementation and progression with getting and maintaining some female company. There you'll get positive advice!
SH
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
I think you are driven by your prvick,nothing we say will prevent you putting your head in the Lions mouth...both of you are well suited,you are both drama Queens!...Pretty soon it will be last chance Day,so make your choice:five or so years of constant bickering,a life of servitude,followed by a life shattering divorce,or go no contact,spin plates,take this one back on that basis too(Believe me she will batter your door down to get in)....Best option,find someone less controlling,makes for a more peaceful life!