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She has doubts. Next? Indifference? No contact?
- Thread starter Lateralus
- Start date
Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
To be honest I deleted all stuff incl. messages.
I couldn't keep myself surfing the forum searching about cluster B women. Very good threads about it. A lot of her characteristics fit under this 'cluster B' classification. The honeymoon beginning: she recognized that what she felt with me was special and nothing like other relationships and that was the way she treated me. It was like heaven.
When we got 'official' things began to change and she started acting more and more distant and sometimes like a monster. It was never good enough, very negative, mood swings.. it made me more insecure and I started to get more and more jealous. She recently, before we broke up, went out with her girlfriends and I saw new guys added to facebook. I was so insecure about our relationship that I asked who they were and she got angry because I asked. After that everything went downhill quickly.
But whatever happened, BPD or not, I just can't understand how someone reacts so cold to a break up.
Anyway, I guess it's not relevant anymore. But I do have the "What the **** just happened!!?" feeling right now.
I couldn't keep myself surfing the forum searching about cluster B women. Very good threads about it. A lot of her characteristics fit under this 'cluster B' classification. The honeymoon beginning: she recognized that what she felt with me was special and nothing like other relationships and that was the way she treated me. It was like heaven.
When we got 'official' things began to change and she started acting more and more distant and sometimes like a monster. It was never good enough, very negative, mood swings.. it made me more insecure and I started to get more and more jealous. She recently, before we broke up, went out with her girlfriends and I saw new guys added to facebook. I was so insecure about our relationship that I asked who they were and she got angry because I asked. After that everything went downhill quickly.
But whatever happened, BPD or not, I just can't understand how someone reacts so cold to a break up.
Anyway, I guess it's not relevant anymore. But I do have the "What the **** just happened!!?" feeling right now.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Why are you worried about some girl that you never even fvcked???
Nothing was ever "official" with you two. You mean nothing to her yet you are all broken up about some girl that isn't even interested in you.
Until you have fvcked a girl, she is only a prospect or a potential plate.
You are never "official" until after you have fvcked her and then you let the woman decide the relationship. You just keep fvcking her.
Go meet more women, identify more prospects, qualify your prospects, try to fvck them all, and then spin as many plates as you can until you find one that is worthy of being "official" or exclusive with in a LTR with.
Nothing was ever "official" with you two. You mean nothing to her yet you are all broken up about some girl that isn't even interested in you.
Until you have fvcked a girl, she is only a prospect or a potential plate.
You are never "official" until after you have fvcked her and then you let the woman decide the relationship. You just keep fvcking her.
Go meet more women, identify more prospects, qualify your prospects, try to fvck them all, and then spin as many plates as you can until you find one that is worthy of being "official" or exclusive with in a LTR with.
Die Hard
Master Don Juan
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Keep reading those BPD/cluster B threads. Like I said before, you are gonna need to make a very conscious effort to stay away from this girl.
I'm sure your resolve to stay away from her is strong right now, but it isn't gonna stay like that, you will experience weak moments... Seek advice and support on SoSuave on those moments.
You will have to deal with your need for "closure" and try to make sense of this whole affair you had with her.... Be sure to seek the answers OVER HERE, instead of succumbing to your urge to contact her!
I'm sure your resolve to stay away from her is strong right now, but it isn't gonna stay like that, you will experience weak moments... Seek advice and support on SoSuave on those moments.
You will have to deal with your need for "closure" and try to make sense of this whole affair you had with her.... Be sure to seek the answers OVER HERE, instead of succumbing to your urge to contact her!
I must have missed that fact when reading your thread. My bad.Lateralus said:
You had your fun with her. No reason to let her continue to plague your mind.
Cut off all contact and make her jealous by ignoring her and becoming the best man you can be. Continuous improvement of yourself throughout life and spin, spin, spin more plates.
I promise when you have lots of options your mind does not have time to worry about one girl.
Your goal is not to get her back. Your goal is to have your revenge by being the best man you can possibly be and finding a better woman so she will always have to live with the regret of letting you get away.
Good luck! Go out and have some fun.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Lateralis,
What a drama Queen,her strange behaviour suggests that she has read these tactics in some Fem Magazine or other....If you want to get close again,just push her away....Much easier to play your own game if you spin a few Plates...This Girl is just for fun,she is not a keeper,don't move in with her,she is controlling and perhaps dangerous,this business about wanting "To hit you in the face" is a definite alarm bell...Should you escalate the relationship to de-facto or worse,she will exploit your vulnerability in very destructive ways.
What a drama Queen,her strange behaviour suggests that she has read these tactics in some Fem Magazine or other....If you want to get close again,just push her away....Much easier to play your own game if you spin a few Plates...This Girl is just for fun,she is not a keeper,don't move in with her,she is controlling and perhaps dangerous,this business about wanting "To hit you in the face" is a definite alarm bell...Should you escalate the relationship to de-facto or worse,she will exploit your vulnerability in very destructive ways.
Thanks, I experienced weak moments already. These a re the moments I look in my phone to see if she contacted me. The worst is yet to come: I have a side job (to finance my studies) where she works fulltime. A different departement though, so I do not have to talk to her, but I will see her 3 times a week. I will see her wednesday again. My plan is to just ignore her and have fun with my collegues. IT's going to be hard, but at least she can see me not giving a **** 
. Although I'm not sure how to weapon myself against mockery or something...
I have had fun with her and her behavior was definitely not normal. Those rages and everything... red flags.
Thanks for the site Mauser, I was already on it. Very good one.
. Although I'm not sure how to weapon myself against mockery or something...I have had fun with her and her behavior was definitely not normal. Those rages and everything... red flags.
Thanks for the site Mauser, I was already on it. Very good one.
HoneyHitter
Senior Don Juan
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Lol, I swear this girl must be 8 y/o. :crackup:Lateralus said:
We haven't talked or anything since the breakup. We totally ignore each other at work. It's damn hard to see her 3 times a week, hear her talk and everything!! Wonder how she feels... I will keep at it at least 30 days.
I will keep at it at least 30 days.Jules_Winfield
Don Juan
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Lateralus,
When I was younger, I was messing up the end of relationships until a friend told me to never end things on bad terms. They will eventually contacted you down the line, then you can use them as booty calls. I only allow things to end on bad terms if the sex is bad.
Another thing: you are special, but not that special. When they contact you it's because they are currently in a bad relationship, just left a relationship, or they're lonely. You can date them if you want, but don't make it long-term. You will be a placeholder.
When I was younger, I was messing up the end of relationships until a friend told me to never end things on bad terms. They will eventually contacted you down the line, then you can use them as booty calls. I only allow things to end on bad terms if the sex is bad.
Another thing: you are special, but not that special. When they contact you it's because they are currently in a bad relationship, just left a relationship, or they're lonely. You can date them if you want, but don't make it long-term. You will be a placeholder.
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
If you get that chance, it will be when you no longer care if you do. Either way, you might as well answer "no" to your own question.Lateralus said:
I read this thread, and the last message I've quoted and I can feel your frustration. I almost guarantee she can too.
Scar gave you good advice and Jules brings up a very good point too.
Some people are ultra sensitive to your mood / desire / feelings. For instance, if it's out of character for you to ignore her or anyone, then she likely feels she is still in control with you avoiding eye contact.
Best thing you can do is be a bigger man, smile, say hello if eye contact occurs and go about your life without her in it. When you truly accept that direction and live it, that's when she'll notice. Reiterating what I said in the first place ... you may / should not even care if she notices.
1) your frustration will be solved as you replace her.
2) your hunger will be sated on another.
Spend no more time on this thread. Start a new thread on your plan / implementation and progression with getting and maintaining some female company. There you'll get positive advice!
SH
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Lateralis,
I think you are driven by your prvick,nothing we say will prevent you putting your head in the Lions mouth...both of you are well suited,you are both drama Queens!...Pretty soon it will be last chance Day,so make your choice:five or so years of constant bickering,a life of servitude,followed by a life shattering divorce,or go no contact,spin plates,take this one back on that basis too(Believe me she will batter your door down to get in)....Best option,find someone less controlling,makes for a more peaceful life!
I think you are driven by your prvick,nothing we say will prevent you putting your head in the Lions mouth...both of you are well suited,you are both drama Queens!...Pretty soon it will be last chance Day,so make your choice:five or so years of constant bickering,a life of servitude,followed by a life shattering divorce,or go no contact,spin plates,take this one back on that basis too(Believe me she will batter your door down to get in)....Best option,find someone less controlling,makes for a more peaceful life!
DJ SO STEVE
Don Juan
How can you fall in love with someone so fast? Love has a lot of meaning and a people these days throw it around like soccer. What you experienced with her is infatuation not love. You are infatuated with her and if you continue to care about her it will consume you.