She has a fiance but im confused

[justme1990]

I have a female coworker that is funny , attractive , the instagram type , most of her pictures are of her posing in her bikini , diamond gem in one of her tooth , some chinese message tattoo on her ribs

anyway she has a fiance so i wanted to keep my distance but she always came to sit close to me , trying to talk to me , asking me why im upset and i should smile more

we have 1 hour break and we usually go to the gym ( me , her and a couple of friends ) , one of my friends brought a T-shirt that he bought and was too big for him and he wanted to sell it to me , i took my shirt off to try it on and she was starring and one of the guys started laughing " you better put your shirt back one or X is gonna cancel her weeding "

after a couple of days i was showing another coworker a video on tiktok and she pressed her chest to my arm to look too , i took this as a sign of attraction so i tried getting close to her , one day i was laying down on the sofa and she was next to me , we started joking and i grabbed her thigh , she said " hey , what are you doing" and took my hand away while smiling , i understood the message so again i started distancing myself and talking to her only when necessary

one day she comes to me to fix an app on her phone and while i was doing it she put both her arms on my thigh and said " sorry if i stay like this " , i told her dont worry about it and she kept staying like that

I dont understand why she had a problem with me putting my hand on her thigh but was perfectly fine with her touching mine , is she just playing games ? or she doesnt want to seem like a girl that cheats on her boyfriend too fast ?

 

[Prepostereax]

Yeah, well yes she would like to fck you..
Now, before she gets hitched, or possibly after (give it some months, when the honeymoon is over).

She is crossing multiple lines that she wouldn't dare do in the presence of her fiance.
She's feeling now that she has to settle for just one guy, and maybe some bereavement about sacrificing freedoms.

I also have a coworker like this, met her husband via the apps.
She still stayed registered, still posting thirst pics on insta.. few months later, she banged 3 guys in one day, according to gossip from other co-workers (Not sure if it was a single occasion or 3 separate).

Think with your big head and be the guy she can never get.
Certainly stay friendly and playful, but have boundaries.
Refraining from crossing these boundaries communicates that you have more suitable options.
It will feed back positively to you, with respect for yourself and from others.

 

[Gamisch]

This is how you lose your life due to a simp- husband who takes his frustration out on YOU. Overhurr we rather learn how to create abundance.

Like the poster above me said: she should never be able to get you. Now you are just another orbiter ,while she is the sun. You are a just another moon from a planet.

You should be the sun, and make shyte revolve around YOU. You should be the star in the movie.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like a great way to get fired

 

[justme1990]

Yeah, well yes she would like to fck you..
Now, before she gets hitched, or possibly after (give it some months, when the honeymoon is over).

She is crossing multiple lines that she wouldn't dare do in the presence of her fiance.
She's feeling now that she has to settle for just one guy, and maybe some bereavement about sacrificing freedoms.

I also have a coworker like this, met her husband via the apps.
She still stayed registered, still posting thirst pics on insta.. few months later, she banged 3 guys in one day, according to gossip from other co-workers (Not sure if it was a single occasion or 3 separate).

Think with your big head and be the guy she can never get.
Certainly stay friendly and playful, but have boundaries.
Refraining from crossing these boundaries communicates that you have more suitable options.
It will feed back positively to you, with respect for yourself and from others.

yeah im not sure if i would cross that line and sleep with her , like i said she is very attractive and she is touchy with other guys so she could just be looking for some attention if the future husband doesnt give it to her

but i know him and he seems like a great guy , everytime she needs something she calls and he comes running , we laugh and say hes like a 24/7 customer service

 

[justme1990]

This is how you lose your life due to a simp- husband who takes his frustration out on YOU. Overhurr we rather learn how to create abundance.

Like the poster above me said: she should never be able to get you. Now you are just another orbiter ,while she is the sun. You are a just another moon from a planet.

You should be the sun, and make shyte revolve around YOU. You should be the star in the movie.

im not an oribiter , we barely talk , i never initiate anything , i dont go to see if she needs something , doing favors for her , she even told me once ( and i bet she was referring to me ) that she doesnt like people that walk past by her and dont say anything and always serious

she has a couple of guys at work that she always jokes around with , take selfies together , talk on snapchat , i dont waste my time with that

 

[justme1990]

Sounds like a great way to get fired

no its not like that at our firm especially her in bulgaria , coworker hooking up then marrying or breaking up and arguing is a normal thing , HR doesnt give a sh*t as long as the numbers go up

 

[BackInTheGame78]

no its not like that at our firm especially her in bulgaria , coworker hooking up then marrying or breaking up and arguing is a normal thing , HR doesnt give a sh*t as long as the numbers go up

Ah, probably should have got clarification. In the US that would be an issue.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It sounds like you’re just a coworker she can shoot the **** with, and you and the others are either a source of validation for her or just entertainment and good vibes. She feels safe with all of you. (I’m not saying this is a parasitic relationship since she probably brings something to the group too).

Either way, you said you don’t want to sleep with her, so the simplest move is not to try touching her again, making any moves, and keep your distance and inattention. Keep things neutral and there won’t be any mixed signals on your end and be free of workplace drama or issues with the fiancé.

However, taking morality out of this, if you do want to sleep with her, next time she does this and while she is doing this, ask her to go for lunch outside of work during your lunch hours at a later date with some finesse. If she keeps mentioning her finance while you keep moving forward or she declines the invitation then this is a boundary you will never break.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have a female coworker that is funny , attractive , the instagram type , most of her pictures are of her posing in her bikini , diamond gem in one of her tooth , some chinese message tattoo on her ribs

More of a red flag than discovering that she considers Aileen Wuornos her idol

 

[justme1990]

More of a red flag than discovering that she considers Aileen Wuornos her idol

Because she is a coworker ? Or because of her description ?

I cant understand why someone would think like that , even her facebook wall picture is her in the bikini lying down with a curved back

People see this and think that she is a toth but she is different , she is actually a great , loving person

 

[justme1990]

It sounds like you’re just a coworker she can shoot the **** with, and you and the others are either a source of validation for her or just entertainment and good vibes. She feels safe with all of you. (I’m not saying this is a parasitic relationship since she probably brings something to the group too).

Either way, you said you don’t want to sleep with her, so the simplest move is not to try touching her again, making any moves, and keep your distance and inattention. Keep things neutral and there won’t be any mixed signals on your end and be free of workplace drama or issues with the fiancé.

However, taking morality out of this, if you do want to sleep with her, next time she does this and while she is doing this, ask her to go for lunch outside of work during your lunch hours at a later date with some finesse. If she keeps mentioning her finance while you keep moving forward or she declines the invitation then this is a boundary you will never break.

To be honest i dont know what i want , if i knew 100% that she would want to have sex ( i know that there is no way to know that ) i would probably say yes

Im just gonna wait but if i wait too long she will most likely lose all interest

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I grabbed her thigh , she said " hey , what are you doing" and took my hand away while smiling , i understood the message so again i started distancing myself and talking to her only when necessary

Maybe you should have doubled down instead of moving your hand away.

If i knew 100% that she would want to have sex ( i know that there is no way to know that ) i would probably say yes

Maybe she just needs an opportunity (in regards to logistics) and plausible deniability. Focus on creating these things (logistics where sex can happen, and giving her plausible deniability) and maybe she wont be able to resist. Isolate her and make excuses to take off your shirt off.

Either she wants your D, or just wants attention (or drama). Its on you to figure out which one is it and act accordingly. If she´s just teasing you but wont put out, just cut her loose.

 

[justme1990]

Maybe you should have doubled down instead of moving your hand

She took my hand away , i didnt move it by myself , she was moving it and after 90 degree angle i was resisting and she couldnt budge it and said " you really are strong "

If i insisted to keep my hand there she could have gotten really mad

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I dont understand why she had a problem with me putting my hand on her thigh but was perfectly fine with her touching mine ,

That's the way the game works. Stop expecting it to be logical and understandable.

You push a little, she pushes back, you push a little, she pushes back.

The game is to keep it playful (even over days or whatever) and slowly escalate while noticing her responses.

if i knew 100% that she would want to have sex

She likely just likes enjoying the "touchy-flirting" game with a relatively "safe" coworker.

Don't expect any obvious signs or signals.

Just keep playing the game and enjoy it.

BUT you need to make a decision if it is YOUR intention (guys are always waiting for the girl to make it clear what she wants and end up blowing it) to bang her or just to flirt with her. That is YOUR job.

If you want to bang her, keep flirting, slowly push the envelop and just look for opportunities to escalate.

But since she's a coworker AND engaged, I'd recommend not doing that.

Don't make the mistake of thinking she actually wants to leave her fiance for you.

You're just a playtoy on the way to her wedding.

 

[magushero18]

thats a tough one

 

[Vanderdonck]

She's looking for a side D and thinks yours might be nice. She probably also sees you as mature enough to be able to handle it. Assuming she is young and bored at home, they are all c0ck fiends at that age whether their husbands accept it or not.

Not saying you should do it though, that's a separate question.

 

[Gamisch]

im not an oribiter , we barely talk , i never initiate anything , i dont go to see if she needs something , doing favors for her , she even told me once ( and i bet she was referring to me ) that she doesnt like people that walk past by her and dont say anything and always serious

she has a couple of guys at work that she always jokes around with , take selfies together , talk on snapchat , i dont waste my time with that

1 You go to the gym with her
2 you work with her
3 you make a thread about her on a forum for seduction
4 you actually touched her

Orbiter come in many shapes and sizes. Let's assume that all men who go to the gym with her are now thinking about hitting that. All of you are orbiters at this point.

 

[justme1990]

1 You go to the gym with her
2 you work with her
3 you make a thread about her on a forum for seduction
4 you actually touched her

Orbiter come in many shapes and sizes. Let's assume that all men who go to the gym with her are now thinking about hitting that. All of you are orbiters at this point.

yeah i guess you are right , i think im just gonna stay away from her , she flirts with other guys aswell at work ( playfight and stupid stuff like that ) so its better for me to just mind my own business

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

How old is she? Sounds extremely attention seeking. Bikini photo with curved back is totally show off/attention seeking, so is flirty behavior.

Eastern European men that I know tend to be quite possessive so I'd say be careful if she keeps getting touchy.

If you were to double down (are you always this naughty, touching another man??) you may cross a line you are not aware of and get yourself in trouble with her or 24/7 service center fiance or his friends.

She is his problem. Don't let her become yours. There are other pretty girls.