"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
she has a bf, she kissed me... now what?
- Thread starter JD2313
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
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1) Never tell a girl that you have feelings for her, at least at not before you've slept with her and you are in a committed relationship. The "confessing your feelings method" of seducing a girl only works in Hollywood movies, I'm afraid. In real life, you have to take ACTIONS and see if she complies. For example, you like a girl? Invite her out for a drink alone, just the two of you. Try to kiss her and physically escalate from there.
2) The girl you talk about in your thread is playing both you and her bf perfectly at the moment. She is, as we say on here quite a lot, "having her cake and eating it." That is to say, she is enjoying the attention from both you and her bf simultaneously, whilst both of you are pining over her. I'm not sure how old you are, but don't believe her when she says she hasn't done anything physical with her bf. The chances are, if they're together, she made out with him as an absolute bare minimum, and very likely slept with him.
3) Most importantly, this girl is neither going to leave her bf for you (as you yourself say in your post) nor complying with your physical escalation beyond making out. Therefore, whilst the girl is getting emotional and physical attention from 2 guys (see point 2), you are getting precisely NOTHING out of this. Just think about that for a moment. Nothing whatsoever. Don't you feel you deserve to have a hot gf all to yourself to sleep with? Why settle for less than you deserve?
On the basis of the above, your best course of action is to keep contact with this girl to a minimum and see other girls. Scroll down to the bottom left corner of the page to a link called "DJ Bible" and start reading- it'll make the advice you receive make much more sense.
Good luck!
TopGun2000
Don Juan
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 9
On a slightly different point, never take what a girl says at face value, particularly if you haven't slept with her and particularly if the girl is talking about her sexual history. Girls have a vested interest in trying to seem as "pure" and sexually inexperienced as possible, and will therefore lie about their sexual past. Don't be naive and assume that the girl's sister will tell the truth about her sister- the chances are that she will do everything she can to make her sister look good. I repeat what I said before: the chances that your oneitis girl has slept with her bf are very very high.
And that's why she's with you now cause she wants a real man that is going to make her feel like a woman.
I think you know what you have to do next. Bang her like if there's no tomorrow because this poor girl is probably dying for it after 5 months of suffering of no action with that guy
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This may be true for a period.f283000 said:And that's why she's with you now cause she wants a real man that is going to make her feel like a woman.
I think you know what you have to do next. Bang her like if there's no tomorrow because this poor girl is probably dying for it after 5 months of suffering of no action with that guy
Actions are all that matter, and the fact that she has left her b/f (who sounded like a loser anyway) is a good sign.
But the true test is after he actually sleeps with her (if he does). Girls give out kisses like candy these days...kissing means almost nothing these days.
Even if it happens and he bangs her brains out, the way he is talking about her already sounds dangerously like oneitis, and unless he gets that under control, it won't last long.