"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
she has a bf, she kissed me... now what?
- Thread starter JD2313
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
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1) Never tell a girl that you have feelings for her, at least at not before you've slept with her and you are in a committed relationship. The "confessing your feelings method" of seducing a girl only works in Hollywood movies, I'm afraid. In real life, you have to take ACTIONS and see if she complies. For example, you like a girl? Invite her out for a drink alone, just the two of you. Try to kiss her and physically escalate from there.
2) The girl you talk about in your thread is playing both you and her bf perfectly at the moment. She is, as we say on here quite a lot, "having her cake and eating it." That is to say, she is enjoying the attention from both you and her bf simultaneously, whilst both of you are pining over her. I'm not sure how old you are, but don't believe her when she says she hasn't done anything physical with her bf. The chances are, if they're together, she made out with him as an absolute bare minimum, and very likely slept with him.
3) Most importantly, this girl is neither going to leave her bf for you (as you yourself say in your post) nor complying with your physical escalation beyond making out. Therefore, whilst the girl is getting emotional and physical attention from 2 guys (see point 2), you are getting precisely NOTHING out of this. Just think about that for a moment. Nothing whatsoever. Don't you feel you deserve to have a hot gf all to yourself to sleep with? Why settle for less than you deserve?
On the basis of the above, your best course of action is to keep contact with this girl to a minimum and see other girls. Scroll down to the bottom left corner of the page to a link called "DJ Bible" and start reading- it'll make the advice you receive make much more sense.
Good luck!
TopGun2000
Don Juan
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
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On a slightly different point, never take what a girl says at face value, particularly if you haven't slept with her and particularly if the girl is talking about her sexual history. Girls have a vested interest in trying to seem as "pure" and sexually inexperienced as possible, and will therefore lie about their sexual past. Don't be naive and assume that the girl's sister will tell the truth about her sister- the chances are that she will do everything she can to make her sister look good. I repeat what I said before: the chances that your oneitis girl has slept with her bf are very very high.
And that's why she's with you now cause she wants a real man that is going to make her feel like a woman.
I think you know what you have to do next. Bang her like if there's no tomorrow because this poor girl is probably dying for it after 5 months of suffering of no action with that guy
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
This may be true for a period.f283000 said:And that's why she's with you now cause she wants a real man that is going to make her feel like a woman.
I think you know what you have to do next. Bang her like if there's no tomorrow because this poor girl is probably dying for it after 5 months of suffering of no action with that guy
Actions are all that matter, and the fact that she has left her b/f (who sounded like a loser anyway) is a good sign.
But the true test is after he actually sleeps with her (if he does). Girls give out kisses like candy these days...kissing means almost nothing these days.
Even if it happens and he bangs her brains out, the way he is talking about her already sounds dangerously like oneitis, and unless he gets that under control, it won't last long.