'She doesn't see you as alpha'

Tilex

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Couple of things I want to mention.

1) Coffee dates are bad.
It is a cheap date, I agree with that. But nothing gets that panties off quicker than liquor. The only thing that tops liquor in the seduction phase is xtc.
At least keep some alcohol at your home if you're planning to invite a woman over.
Plus, all the caffeine from coffee tends to make people edgy and nervous sometimes.

2) You need to do a lot more compliance testing.
You need her to touch you more. One of my favorite techniques if I'm sitting down with a chick is to get her to massage the back of my neck or my shoulders.

3) More Kino teasing
If a girl acts jittery from the first kiss like you described, I would kino tease her.
I would bring my mouth close to her neck with my lips pressing gently against it, inhale with a deep breath, and tell her "Damn........ you smell SO sexy"
If you do this correctly it should generate a physical response from her.
Almost like she's melting in your arms.
 
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Suave88

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I never bring anyone to my place, room, bed, etc.... I go to their. After the first kiss date, typically the second time, they ask me to come in or we go to hotel.
 

stringpuller

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Someone said something to this ^ effect in another thread I posted.

Their misunderstanding was that I had this girl in bed and didn't do anything with her. But something similar to what they thought happened today.

I went for coffee with this girl, we were having a good time. She's a cool girl. Hard to really touch and escalate at a coffee table but I did touch her knee a couple times. Whatever.

So we go back to my place. We're on the bed, and in my mind I'm thinking 'This girl made it all the way to my place and is on my bed, she must know what I want'. So I'm not really trying to do a whole lot at this point. And to be honest, I'm not the best at creating opportunities for escalating physically, so I was a bit in my head about it. But she's in my bed, so I'm not really worried about it.

So anyways I go on trying to think of ways to create opportunities to get physical but couldn't. So while after she finished talking, I just kind of stopped and then leaned in for a kiss. She giggled but didn't kiss me. So I just went on playing songs and talking about what we were talking about.

Later I had my arm around her with my hand on her hip while we're watching videos. She keeps adjusting to the point where she can get her head on my shoulder. But other than that nothing else happened.

I'm just kind of stuck with this kind of thing. It's happened a few other times and I wanna know how to improve/deal with it. I wasn't sure if I should:

a) end it after the kiss rejection? Seems kind of harsh tbh. But I feel like the general consensus on here would be like 'I'm an alpha, either I get what I want or she's out. She doesn't kiss you then she sees you as beta'. But is that really true..? Idk, maybe she's just not ready for it yet? But then again... she's in my bed. Idk, need some perspective
b) play it cool as I did and just chill
c) ask her what the problem is after the rejection - saw this somewhere on here a while ago

She told me she had a good time before we split. I'm curious what I can do to get better at escalating - will check the DJ Bible. And are things so black and white that if she doesn't accept your advances that you're beta? I think a second date is worth pursuing but I dunno.
Touch her legs. The legs. The legs. The legs. The neck is good too. Touch touch touch. Forget the kiss first.
 

Mauser96

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You need to be subtly escalating the whole evening. When you left the coffee shop, you should have taken her hand. A playful pat on the butt along the way perhaps, teasing. Don't sweat it, it's the first date. Keep your texting and attention to a minimum for a week, but when you do reply to her texts, be fun and playful. But end it after a text or two. Give her a chance to miss you.

Ask her out in another week
 

Suave88

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You need to be subtly escalating the whole evening. When you left the coffee shop, you should have taken her hand. A playful pat on the butt along the way perhaps, teasing. Don't sweat it, it's the first date. Keep your texting and attention to a minimum for a week, but when you do reply to her texts, be fun and playful. But end it after a text or two. Give her a chance to miss you.

Ask her out in another week
Long time ago, I went out with a girl I met in college. It was my first time going out with her. She brought along with her another guy, not her man. A gay guy, he was. I went out and took her on the dancing floor and asked her to kiss me.

We kissed, and I made up, but when I was outside the bar, I touched her ass. I put my hand over. She was quick to react and said. "I don't do that on my first date."

That was it. She never went out with me again and I never laid down with her. I don't recommend grabbing hands, touching ass or any other part of body. A kiss in the mouth. I long kiss. But not French kissing until the fvckingtime.
Typically in a week, I go out on a weekend and the next time we go out, she is mine.
 
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Spaz

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My current girlfriend put up epic lmr on our 3rd date. Had her on my bed half peeled and she still escaped. but I knew she wanted the dirty deed done because she came back to my place again for a fourth date. So don't stress if this chick is into you she will come back.
Then be prepared brother for she is on her way out.

You hv a few months to mentally strengthen urself.
 

stringpuller

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Long time ago, I went out with a girl I met in college. It was my first time going out with her. She brought along with her another guy, not her man. A gay guy, he was. I went out and took her on the dancing floor and asked her to kiss me.

We kissed, and I made up, but when I was outside the bar, I touched her ass. I put my hand over. She was quick to react and said. "I don't do that on my first date."

That was it. She never went out with me again and I never laid down with her. I don't recommend grabbing hands, touching ass or any other part of body. A kiss in the mouth. I long kiss. But not French kissing until the fvckingtime.
Typically in a week, I go out on a weekend and the next time we go out, she is mine.
She was at his place. Not out in public. He didnt flirt at the right time. Appropriate touching at the appropriate times is important OP.
 

djthiago1

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Couple of things I want to mention.

1) Coffee dates are bad.
It is a cheap date, I agree with that. But nothing gets that panties off quicker than liquor. The only thing that tops liquor in the seduction phase is xtc.
At least keep some alcohol at your home if you're planning to invite a woman over.
Plus, all the caffeine from coffee tends to make people edgy and nervous sometimes.

2) You need to do a lot more compliance testing.
You need her to touch you more. One of my favorite techniques if I'm sitting down with a chick is to get her to massage the back of my neck or my shoulders.

3) More Kino teasing
If a girl acts jittery from the first kiss like you described, I would kino tease her.
I would bring my mouth close to her neck with my lips pressing gently against it, inhale with a deep breath, and tell her "Damn........ you smell SO sexy"
If you do this correctly it should generate a physical response from her.
Almost like she's melting in your arms.
Here's the thing, if youre looking for a ltr, coffee first dates are excellent, gold diggers hate them.
 
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GrowingPains

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Went for a walk with her this morning.

My goal was just to use more kino this time. To build that comfort and because well.. i wanna touch her, quite simple really. Beautiful body + dude = wanna touch. Found that in my textbook yesterday. Good stuff.

Anyways, I did put my hand on her shoulder many times, 'bumped into her' and pulled her close while joking around, put my arm around her twice, touched her lower back to read what was on her shirt., etc. But I noticed that she wasn't touching me back - which would indicate that she liked it. I can make her laugh easily, in fact, we have a great time together and she's constantly laughing. Not because I'm being a clown but she's a cheery girl and I keep the convo light and fun.

But when I put my arm around her she kept her arms at her side. Both times. Didn't go for a kiss this time because of that.

I'm unsure how to read this one. The absence of physical reciprocation makes me feel she isnt interested. But she seems to really enjoy my company. So.. how do I play this one?

1. Invite her out again next week? Perhaps to something obviously intimate?

2. Could just talk to her about it, I mean that's the least sexy option but it gets the job done. Sometimes I feel like there's a lot of guessing in the game when there doesn't need to be. And by this I mean asking if she's interested in continuing to go on dates. But I mean, if she continues to hang out with me then theres my answer. So i guess talking is unnecessary.
 

MatureDJ

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I've had a woman before in which we were both in the same bed. Mr. Happy made it quite clear that he wanted to be fed poontang.
 

GrowingPains

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Edit:
3. I'm thinking I just pull back a bit. For my own sake and hers. I like her, but I don't want to let a scarcity mindset control my actions and I also would like it to work out. So ill have her a chance to miss me and time for myself to realize that even if it doesn't work out, life goes on. She's currently the only option and I haven't been feeling great about myself lately so I think pulling back is a solid move for the inner game. Avoid seeking validation and putting too much thought into her. And for her, if she's really on the fence about it then she'll be at least leaning to one side after I give her some space.

Either way would be good. If it doesn't work, mental bandwidth is freed up to focus harder on my goals and inner game. If it continues, she's a cool girl and I'm sure we'd have at least a few more good times.

We'll see.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Went for a walk with her this morning.

My goal was just to use more kino this time. To build that comfort and because well.. i wanna touch her, quite simple really. Beautiful body + dude = wanna touch. Found that in my textbook yesterday. Good stuff.

Anyways, I did put my hand on her shoulder many times, 'bumped into her' and pulled her close while joking around, put my arm around her twice, touched her lower back to read what was on her shirt., etc. But I noticed that she wasn't touching me back - which would indicate that she liked it. I can make her laugh easily, in fact, we have a great time together and she's constantly laughing. Not because I'm being a clown but she's a cheery girl and I keep the convo light and fun.

But when I put my arm around her she kept her arms at her side. Both times. Didn't go for a kiss this time because of that.

I'm unsure how to read this one. The absence of physical reciprocation makes me feel she isnt interested. But she seems to really enjoy my company. So.. how do I play this one?

1. Invite her out again next week? Perhaps to something obviously intimate?

2. Could just talk to her about it, I mean that's the least sexy option but it gets the job done. Sometimes I feel like there's a lot of guessing in the game when there doesn't need to be. And by this I mean asking if she's interested in continuing to go on dates. But I mean, if she continues to hang out with me then theres my answer. So i guess talking is unnecessary.
She has to want to touch you. I know how you feel but the right dynamic is she must hunger for and desire you.
 

stringpuller

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She has to want to touch you. I know how you feel but the right dynamic is she must hunger for and desire you.
You know this is so true. And these certain cold situations if she does touch play a little hard to get in return. Push her hand away, toy with it and have fun with a bit of cat and mouse. Its catnip to them.
 
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Mauser96

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One girl I met on OLD, and dated afterwards for 2.5 years.......we spoke on the phone before we met, and I told her I was going to give her a big kiss the first time I saw her. She laughed, "yeah right"

We met at a restaurant, I walked over to her vehicle after she pulled in, as soon as she got out I gave her a kiss on the lips and said "Nice to finally meet you"

The ice was broken, everything was easy after that and bedded her down 3 hours later.

It is a good move I plan to use the rest of my life.
 

mrgoodstuff

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One girl I met on OLD, and dated afterwards for 2.5 years.......we spoke on the phone before we met, and I told her I was going to give her a big kiss the first time I saw her. She laughed, "yeah right"

We met at a restaurant, I walked over to her vehicle after she pulled in, as soon as she got out I gave her a kiss on the lips and said "Nice to finally meet you"

The ice was broken, everything was easy after that and bedded her down 3 hours later.

It is a good move I plan to use the rest of my life.
Fvck them early and often.
 
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