'She doesn't see you as alpha'

GrowingPains

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Someone said something to this ^ effect in another thread I posted.

Their misunderstanding was that I had this girl in bed and didn't do anything with her. But something similar to what they thought happened today.

I went for coffee with this girl, we were having a good time. She's a cool girl. Hard to really touch and escalate at a coffee table but I did touch her knee a couple times. Whatever.

So we go back to my place. We're on the bed, and in my mind I'm thinking 'This girl made it all the way to my place and is on my bed, she must know what I want'. So I'm not really trying to do a whole lot at this point. And to be honest, I'm not the best at creating opportunities for escalating physically, so I was a bit in my head about it. But she's in my bed, so I'm not really worried about it.

So anyways I go on trying to think of ways to create opportunities to get physical but couldn't. So while after she finished talking, I just kind of stopped and then leaned in for a kiss. She giggled but didn't kiss me. So I just went on playing songs and talking about what we were talking about.

Later I had my arm around her with my hand on her hip while we're watching videos. She keeps adjusting to the point where she can get her head on my shoulder. But other than that nothing else happened.

I'm just kind of stuck with this kind of thing. It's happened a few other times and I wanna know how to improve/deal with it. I wasn't sure if I should:

a) end it after the kiss rejection? Seems kind of harsh tbh. But I feel like the general consensus on here would be like 'I'm an alpha, either I get what I want or she's out. She doesn't kiss you then she sees you as beta'. But is that really true..? Idk, maybe she's just not ready for it yet? But then again... she's in my bed. Idk, need some perspective
b) play it cool as I did and just chill
c) ask her what the problem is after the rejection - saw this somewhere on here a while ago

She told me she had a good time before we split. I'm curious what I can do to get better at escalating - will check the DJ Bible. And are things so black and white that if she doesn't accept your advances that you're beta? I think a second date is worth pursuing but I dunno.
 
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Snake-eyes

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If a woman that I went on a date with lays on my bed, you best believe we ****ing or she’s walking.
Should of have went mode one on her man
Her telling you “I had a good time” doesn’t mean anything. Just a comforting sentence
 

GrowingPains

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If a woman that I went on a date with lays on my bed, you best believe we ****ing or she’s walking.
Should of have went mode one on her man
Her telling you “I had a good time” doesn’t mean anything. Just a comforting sentence
So what if she just wasn't ready to fvck, but she's into you?

I don't see the advantage in telling her to walk. Besides showing her that you wanted one thing and if you don't get it then.. peace. Maybe you can help me understand.
 

ubercat

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Just a touch of lmr totally normal. The normal rule is two steps forward one step back. So after she rejected your kiss I'm assuming by turning her head away. play with her hair nuzzle on her ears whatever you like to do. And if you can feel she's warminging up then take your finger under her chin and gently and I mean a very gently move her head into a kiss.

I mean to be honest I d just start kissing her other places. But you're obviously a young guy and might find that a little bit harder to pull off

Cupping a breast i e just holding it gently while you go in for the kiss is a nice distraction especially if you are behind her.
 

ubercat

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My current girlfriend put up epic lmr on our 3rd date. Had her on my bed half peeled and she still escaped. but I knew she wanted the dirty deed done because she came back to my place again for a fourth date. So don't stress if this chick is into you she will come back.
 
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ShePays

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Considering that she was alone with you in your bedroom, it is possible that she only rejected your kiss because she wasn't ready for what it would lead to, and would have been in no position to halt a further escalation, from that point. That's only speculation, though. In retrospect, it might have been better to take the first kiss in a setting where the possibility of escalation was more limited.

The thing about not spending any money on a girl is that it truly does strip things down to the bare essence of why she wants to spend her time with you. It doesn't always have to be about sex, every time. When guys spend money on, girls, though, they always feel like they're playing the slut slots, and are waiting to hit the big jackpot. Stop paying and you stop playing. When she's paying, you will no longer wonder what she wants from you.

What you really should be considering is how you would've felt about how your night went, if she had picked up the check. Would it have bothered you as much that it didn't end in sex? Women tend to be a bit more sexually aggressive when your time costs them something,
 

LARaiders85

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Women don't marry the alpha because he is too much of a flight risk so who cares
 

ubercat

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Possibly. But the fact that she was willing to let OP get handsy after that seems to point to it just being normal lmr ie not wanting to appear a slvt. A chick's like an oven they take a while to warm up
 

lgbs2004

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For me this “alpha” thing is bull****e.
Some women wanna **** you or they wont, so Whats a man to do? Learn to read women And how to make her hamster spin
 

ShePays

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For me this “alpha” thing is bull****e.
Some women wanna **** you or they wont, so Whats a man to do? Learn to read women And how to make her hamster spin
Yeah. That lingo reminds me of when I got my wife a dog, when we were first married, and he wouldn't mind her, when I left the house. I had to explain to her that he thought he was the alpha dog, when I left. She never could get him to mind, and i ended up having to take him to work with me.

Now, thanks to internet PUAs, everything is Alpha this and Beta that. It's fvcking embarrassing.
 
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lgbs2004

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Do
Yeah. That lingo reminds me of when I got my wife a dog, when we were first married, and he wouldn't mind her, when I left the house. I had to explain to her that he thought he was the alpha dog, when I left. She never could get him to mind, and i ended up having to take him to work with me.

Now, thanks to internet PUAs, everything is Alpha this and Beta that. It's fvcking embarrassing.
dogs know game better then men kkkk
 

BeExcellent

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+1 what @ubercat said. You’re a young dude. You’re learning. You’ll get there (with this girl if she likes you or as you learn to read & respond to nonverbal cues.)

Be chill & patient & see her again if you like her. Be playful.

I’ve advised guys to tell women “Gee I’m not like that...I don’t want you to think I’m too easy (with a smirk & big grin) while kissing the back of her neck....

But if you aren’t quite to that level of smooth it’s cool. Just relax & let things flow. Be patient and allow a little tension to build. Tension is your friend. If she’s into you she will want to relieve the tension at some point.

And voila there you are ;)
 

ShePays

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Yep, dogs do that. They have an innate ability to recognize the alpha lead dog. That would be you the man. Probably why they like to follow us everywhere we go at home like a clingy woman…
My wife does the same thing. If i lock my study door, she brings me something, so I'll let her in. Says she can't help it.
 
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Suave88

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Someone said something to this ^ effect in another thread I posted.

Their misunderstanding was that I had this girl in bed and didn't do anything with her. But something similar to what they thought happened today.

I went for coffee with this girl, we were having a good time. She's a cool girl. Hard to really touch and escalate at a coffee table but I did touch her knee a couple times. Whatever.

So we go back to my place. We're on the bed, and in my mind I'm thinking 'This girl made it all the way to my place and is on my bed, she must know what I want'. So I'm not really trying to do a whole lot at this point. And to be honest, I'm not the best at creating opportunities for escalating physically, so I was a bit in my head about it. But she's in my bed, so I'm not really worried about it.

So anyways I go on trying to think of ways to create opportunities to get physical but couldn't. So while after she finished talking, I just kind of stopped and then leaned in for a kiss. She giggled but didn't kiss me. So I just went on playing songs and talking about what we were talking about.

Later I had my arm around her with my hand on her hip while we're watching videos. She keeps adjusting to the point where she can get her head on my shoulder. But other than that nothing else happened.

I'm just kind of stuck with this kind of thing. It's happened a few other times and I wanna know how to improve/deal with it. I wasn't sure if I should:

a) end it after the kiss rejection? Seems kind of harsh tbh. But I feel like the general consensus on here would be like 'I'm an alpha, either I get what I want or she's out. She doesn't kiss you then she sees you as beta'. But is that really true..? Idk, maybe she's just not ready for it yet? But then again... she's in my bed. Idk, need some perspective
b) play it cool as I did and just chill
c) ask her what the problem is after the rejection - saw this somewhere on here a while ago

She told me she had a good time before we split. I'm curious what I can do to get better at escalating - will check the DJ Bible. And are things so black and white that if she doesn't accept your advances that you're beta? I think a second date is worth pursuing but I dunno.
Hello, I was who commented on your post.

All I can tell you is.... if we are alone, and she is in my bed or her bed and I am around, you can rest a sure she wants some sausage. I am not sure if this girl or the other one was or is your girlfriend or just a friend. In my life, I have had females asked me to come lay in bed with them. I dont take it as a test, but as a sign they want some.

In any case, they have never implied they want to have sex, but taking or being taken by someone to your house or dorm, moving from the living room to the bedroom and to bed is symbolic.

On an occasion, I went to see this girl. We had kissed before in the mouth, so we made up already a few days before. Anyway, Upon arriving, I found her dressed provocative and she asked me to come to bed, but once in bed, she said she only wanted to talk..... I told her "to talk to who?....Do you think I am stupid???., The game was on.... My dyxk in her puss and my finger in her ass. Don't waste any time my friend. Time waits for no man.
Question.
Are you trying to maintain your frame by not fvcking some of these girls you meet?

As I mentioned before in here, some girls make it easy for the guys they like and imposible for the guys they don't like. Some play hard or are shy, but eventually they give up.
 
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GrowingPains

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Thought about it a little bit. Read some good ole SS articles.

https://www.sosuave.com/articles/firstmove.htm & https://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip194.htm

I didn't look for any signals or try to build up to it. I think that's one source of my problem.

I find it difficult, though, to lead into a conversation that
Hello, I was who commented on your post.

All I can tell you is.... if we are alone, and she is in my bed or her bed and I am around, you can rest a sure she wants some sausage. I am not sure if this girl or the other one was or is your girlfriend or just a friend. In my life, I have had females asked me to come lay in bed with them. I dont take it as a test, but as a sign they want some.

In any case, they have never implied they want to have sex, but taking or being taken by someone to your house or dorm, moving from the living room to the bedroom and to bed is symbolic.

On an occasion, I went to see this girl. We had kissed before in the mouth, so we made up already a few days before. Anyway, Upon arriving, I found her dressed provocative and she asked me to come to bed, but once in bed, she said she only wanted to talk..... I told her "to talk to who?....Do you think I am stupid???., The game was on.... My dyxk in her puss and my finger in her ass. Don't waste any time my friend. Time waits for no man.
Question.
Are you trying to maintain your frame by not fvcking some of these girls you meet?

As I mentioned before in here, some girls make it easy for the guys they like and imposible for the guys they don't like. Some play hard or are shy, but eventually they give up.
I wasn't calling you out but thanks for responding. I just wanted to investigate the thought a little further.

Nah, it's literally NEVER crossed my mind to not have sex to maintain frame. But if the situation were right I would. Like if I didn't like her behavior and she was trying to brush it under the rug via sex. But in the first few dates, nah.

This was just the first date. Different girl from the other post.


@BeExcellent @ubercat That's some smooth shi' righ' der. Noted. I think ultimately it boils down to 1. Me needing to build up to it better. 2. Reading the situation. 3. Executing a lot more smoothly.

Besides experience, do you all have any suggestions where I can get inspiration for smooth moves like the ones you suggested? When I'm with a girl that I know likes me or we've already done the deed, I feel like I'm pretty smooth. But if I'm uncertain it falls to pieces.
 

Trump

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I went for coffee with this girl, we were having a good time. She's a cool girl. Hard to really touch and escalate at a coffee table but I did touch her knee a couple times. Whatever.
It’s easy to escalate in coffee.

So we go back to my place. We're on the bed, and in my mind I'm thinking 'This girl made it all the way to my place and is on my bed, she must know what I want'. So I'm not really trying to do a whole lot at this point. And to be honest, I'm not the best at creating opportunities for escalating physically, so I was a bit in my head about it. But she's in my bed, so I'm not really worried about it.

So anyways I go on trying to think of ways to create opportunities to get physical but couldn't. So while after she finished talking, I just kind of stopped and then leaned in for a kiss. She giggled but didn't kiss me. So I just went on playing songs and talking about what we were talking about.

Later I had my arm around her with my hand on her hip while we're watching videos. She keeps adjusting to the point where she can get her head on my shoulder. But other than that nothing else happened.

I'm just kind of stuck with this kind of thing. It's happened a few other times and I wanna know how to improve/deal with it. I wasn't sure if I should:

a) end it after the kiss rejection? Seems kind of harsh tbh. But I feel like the general consensus on here would be like 'I'm an alpha, either I get what I want or she's out. She doesn't kiss you then she sees you as beta'. But is that really true..? Idk, maybe she's just not ready for it yet? But then again... she's in my bed. Idk, need some perspective
b) play it cool as I did and just chill
c) ask her what the problem is after the rejection - saw this somewhere on here a while ago
(b)

How do you guys

1) meet these good looking girls
2) get their info
3) set a date
4) bring them back to your place
5) get them on your bed
6) And THEN don't know what to do, It’s like its self sabotage.

Most guys have problems with 1,2,3,4,5. Number 6 is so easy.
 
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