She calls me to tell me she's engaged

[NewMan]

Just got off the phone with the ex...

She called me to tell me that she's engaged...

Don't know how I feel....

mixed emotions.

It was weird because it was some flirting going on there...

Well good luck to her... I knew it was comming - even so it's still emotional.

 

[Desdinova]

Yet another good reason to cut all contact with the ex. What a b1tch. She led you on, and then tells you she's engaged. Then again you're to blame as well since you didn't quit her.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Yeah? So,...?

I assume she's an Ex for a reason, right? People buy used cars all the time NEWMAN. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Consider yourself fortunate my friend, you are still in the enviable position of being able to choose who you want.

 

[NewMan]

Right - I'm not saying - well I really don't know what I'm saying.

I have issues - I know. Deep routed problems of commitment.

The more I am out there the more I see it with the next woman, the next, the next, the next.

Nothing is enough.

They all don't compare - or I put road blocks in place.....

But I am only human - and I really don't know how to feel about this. Some of me wants to sigh a sigh of relief - another part of me wants to say "No".... "Fvck that guy"... "Don't get married"....

An ex is an ex is an ex. What makes it worse is when your being told that they're looking back now and see that they've made mistakes... and that they've changed - and that they are now doing things you've always wanted them to do with you....

It's a mind fvck.

Would I want to live the life that it WAS? No way. Am I glad it ended - yepp. Would I end it again? - yep....

That doesn't change the fact that it's hard to hear.

 

[Squid]

Dude, I feel your pain man, I've been there, I am there. I can tell one thing that is absolutely certain, it gets better with every day that passes, I promise you that.

One of the reasons I like this forum so much is that I realize that I am not alone with the things going on in my life.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

If it makes you feel any better, smile to yourself a secret smile when he says 'I do' knowing that you tapped his wife's ass at one time. Maybe give him a knowing wink that says, "yeah, I know how good she was too." Trust me, she'll change after marriage and you'll be glad you're still single.

Remember, there are good ones and there are bad ones, but there is no ONE.

 

[prosemont]

hahaha. Women.

She WANTED to mind fvck you. There's only a few reasons an ex makes that call (and believe it ... I've had three friends who have received the same call as you from ex's -- it's freaking commonplace).

Here are the reasons:

1. An attempt to "make you realize" what you've lost, ie. to make you feel bad.

2. To rub your nose in it. See above.

3. To actually get back with you (in a woman's mind, you'd come charging after her if you REALLY loved her! -- despite the fact that she's calling you after having gotten freaking engaged).

4. Simply to satiate her ego *knowing* she could still have you if she wanted you, and that men in general still find her desirable.

The best advice is to not give her ANY of the above. The best thing you could do is to say very genuinely:

"Congratulations!!!!!! I'm so happy for you and that you were able to find someone!!!!"

THAT will make her feel like shiite, believe me, because it would show her that she has NO impact on you.

 

[Desdinova]

When my ex started dating other guys, I just remembered how terrible she was in bed. Now I smile knowing that I've got someone who rocks the bed, and the losers she dates get asked to stop.

Think about all her bad qualities. This guy is stuck with her bad qualities for the rest of his life. SUCKER!!!

 

[NewMan]

I agree....

I'm not saying I'm all cut up about it - but I can't say I'm uneffected with it...

Especially since we were very flirty...

Especially when she told me she finally got a new job - part of which will see her coming back to Cali - and that she can get a weekend flght down to LA and week can meet for a weekend of meaningless s#x.....

I know it was just us flirting on the phone.... But it's fun to know that she is trying to get a response from me...

Anyone she's back in town for xmas with her fiance - so I told her to tell him that she's going to the mall to pick up some last minute presents - and meet me for lunch instead....

Ha...

 

[Yeto]

don't

Don't go man, you don't need that, if it was 'true' meaningless sex, ok, but is not for you, you still have 1% feelings, and if you go, you will develop more and you will be fvcked up again.

Try to get someone else and just don't answer hes calls or emails anymore, let the other guy to put up with her $hit.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Take a deep breath, exhale slowly.... Now scream at the top of your lungs;

I'M FREE !!!!

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by NewMan
Just got off the phone with the ex...

She called me to tell me that she's engaged...

Don't know how I feel....

mixed emotions.

It was weird because it was some flirting going on there...

Well good luck to her... I knew it was comming - even so it's still emotional.

Yeah, it's difficult, I certainly empathise with you. I recently had a similar 'affirmation' that my old relationship was gone, even though I have moved on, and somehow, it still makes you feel a little bad about it.

But then I remind myself of the page long list I wrote out about why I broke it off in the first place. I had some good times with her, especially the first 3 years. But the last 3 years were a slow and steady deterioration.

But sometimes it's hard to rationalise that the person you shared your life with has finally moved on.

 

[NewMan]

That's it exactly.

Coming to terms with the fact that she has moved on - the fact that she's getting married so quickly. That she found (opr thought she has) someone to replace me so quickly...... Even though I know deep down that if that were 100% true she would not be calling...

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by NewMan
That's it exactly.

Coming to terms with the fact that she has moved on - the fact that she's getting married so quickly. That she found (opr thought she has) someone to replace me so quickly...... Even though I know deep down that if that were 100% true she would not be calling...

It's hard to take, knowing that she's probably being nice and sweet with the new guy, the way she was with me in the beginning. But then I think about what a rude awakening the new guy is gonna be in for, once she starts getting comfortable, and her real personality comes through. Women don't change that much.

Keep in mind, she's probably calling you to see if she can rub it in a little.

But it is pretty funny, I've been involved with several girls since my LTR ended, and yet, somehow, it still bothers me, from time to time.

But, Rome wasn't built in a day, and there are no agenda's for getting over things, be it grief for a loved one who has passed on, a failed marriage, a lost friendship......

each experience you have for awhile you will put into the context of your past relationship, until you gain a little time and distance. I'm just dealing with it by immersing myself in bettering myself and other women.

 

[dietzcoi]

NewMan

If she was willing to come down and fukk you instead of shopping, while already engaged, she is real trash and you are good to be rid of her!

If she will cheat on her fiance, she will or would have cheated on you.

HOE!

Dietzcoi

 

[cave dweller]

ok...

Hey,

She has moved on and found someone new.
You need to do the same.
It is hard, but, you will get over her.

If she wants to 'slip' down and give you a shot of pvssy, for old times sake, I would take it.

Thats called a 'grudge fvck'---on your part.

cave dweller

 

[Desdinova]

so I told her to tell him that she's going to the mall to pick up some last minute presents - and meet me for lunch instead....

WTF??? What's the point in doing this?

The longer you drag this 5hit out, the longer it's going to take to move on with your life.

 

[NewMan]

**
WTF??? What's the point in doing this?

The longer you drag this 5hit out, the longer it's going to take to move on with your life.

****

But it would be a great middle finger to them....


Hey, it's all good though - just an intial shock on finding out she was engaged so quickly.....

 

[MrCode]

Get over it and move on man. Stop communication with her entirely.

 

[cave dweller]

tuff

Hey,

Sometimes it is tuff.....But, you have to move on.

Look:

My GF 'dumped' me back in October, because, I would not marry her. We dated for 4 years.

She started about a month ago calling me and then started 'slipping' by once a week for a 'booty call'.

I had to break it off the other day.

I should not have let her start giving me pvssy, once a week.

So, I told her the other day we need to break it off 'cold turkey' and move on, no more pvssy calls.

cave dweller