"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She called me in the middle of the night.

Keeper

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... and I like my sleep.

Riddle me this: how do you guys deal with girls that just won't let you have some peace? But you don't want to get rid of 'em either? :p

First thing she says: I couldn't sleep. :-/ Is it okey to respond with something like: "So you don't want others to sleep either?"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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lebRambo

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if its not a booty call, a late night call is not acceptable. let her know this.
 

Lost In Translation

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my 2 mobile phones ( cell phones ) go on silent mode while i slumber

if it's important or an emergency they can text message me ( sms ) and i will decide if it is an emergency usually when i wake up the next day after the trouble has gone away :)

no chick has my home phone number


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “
 

the_great_gaia

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why would you even pick up the phone? Better yet, why don't you turn it off and let her tell it to the machine?
 

darthsidious

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someone should create a method for cell phones so that the ring part would automatically go to silent at 12:00 am or whenever set time.

ingeniuis i am, motherf uckers.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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squirrels

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Originally posted by Keeper
... and I like my sleep.

Riddle me this: how do you guys deal with girls that just won't let you have some peace? But you don't want to get rid of 'em either? :p

First thing she says: I couldn't sleep. :-/ Is it okey to respond with something like: "So you don't want others to sleep either?"
Tell her to come over.

Then f00k her brains out.
 

bullmoose

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Always answer the question,

"Did I wake you up?"

with, "I can't really talk right now."

It gets 'em thinking.
 

fender85

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Light sleepers. :rolleyes: I had a girl call last night but it didn't wake me up. Kinda surprised me when I woke up this morning and saw I had a voice mail.
 

Sp1kez

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My phone has been death for the past week.......no calls from girls.....only friends on the wekends but thats it.

I miss when my girl called me at 2am and I just ignored the call......she'd always call first thing in the morning....

:(
 

JPR

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Originally posted by bullmoose
Always answer the question,

"Did I wake you up?"

with, "I can't really talk right now."

It gets 'em thinking.
:crackup: OMG I so have to use that one some day :crackup:

BTW I always leave my cell downstairs when I go to sleep, it's never in my bedroom during the night. And just like Lost In Translation said, I'll answer any voicemails in the morning after the emergency is all gone :D
However there were some fun calls I got late at night like when my buddy got stuck 4wheeling in this one field at night and called for me to come winch him out before the cops spotted him :D
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

bullmoose

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I always, always, answer my phone. I have to; I do business on other countries' timetables.

I made it very clear to my crew that if they call me after midnight and there's not a dead body involved, there will be one before I'm through. Because of this, I know that a late-night call from a friend is going to be worth answering.
 
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