"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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she bit the hook, i reeled her in, and my ship is sinking...

BustedKnucks

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2004
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It's been a while since I've posted here, almost a year, but I'm facing a girl that's got me stumped.

The Meeting:

She works with me, but I'm a manager in a different department, I first saw her when I was passing her desk a little before Halloween and approached by asking for one of the tootsie-rolls in a bowl on her desk. We flirted briefly and I left. The next Monday I went by her workspace deliberately and did some more flirting and asked her out to dinner. She agreed, and my buddy who digs her friend came along and the four of us made it a double date.

The Result:

I treated everyone to dinner at John Harvard's and got us all pretty buzzed. After dinner she and I returned to my place for a sloppy drunk hook-up, but she didn't sleep over. She was pretty open to physical contact, but nothing between the thighs.

We hung out a few more times, alternating who called who, going out to eat both just the two of us and as a group with other people from work, going to parties, etc. for the last couple of weeks, each night ending in a hook-up but no sex. She mentioned she had broken up with her ex two months ago, but made it clear that she'd had no contact with him since then and was actively avoiding it.

The Problem:

Today she came to my house in the afternoon for what was pretty much the first time we hung out during daylight hours. Off the bat I was in trouble because both my allergies were acting up badly, and she said she'd have to leave by 8 to go to dinner with her girlfriends (making it obvious I wasn't invited), so I ate a few Claritins before she got here, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. We decided to watch a movie, and she picked The Break Up out of my DVD collection. She'd already seen it and I thought it sucked, but I used a few of the scenes to insinuate some things to her, but to no avail. For the entire time we made very little physical contact, and no kissing at all. I began to see disaster approaching, but at 8 o'clock when I walked her out, we did do some serious kissing outside her car. Then she asked me to call her at 10:30 so she'd have an excuse to leave her dinner party early and come out with me for a while, still, after the relatively uneventful movie I'm not too keen on a worse ending to the night.

She's told me she plays cards, and usually on tuesdays I can get a late-night poker game going with some of my guy friends. If I do call her back later, most likely I'll invite her to that, what my real question is, does anyone think that this "courtship" can advance past innocent hook-ups into something more fun, or is her firm resistance to sexual encounters not just innocence, but the foundation for disaster?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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pvf94

Master Don Juan
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What do you got to lose? If she's open to touch, and making out with you....I think you could work your way to home plate. Just play your cards right (no pun indended =P) Unless ofcourse she specifically stated she does not want you inside her, if thats the case looks like you got a challenge on your hands. Good luck!
 

Boschy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
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Melbourne, Australia
If you have kissed a few times and she still hangs around you, then she may be 'saving it' until she is sure you are not just after a one-night stand.

A bit of push-pull technique might help you escalate. Also I think you might be being too needy and clingy, therefore break contact with her for a week and let her wonder what you're doing. You don't seem to be a challenge at all to her at present.
 
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