"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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she bit the hook, i reeled her in, and my ship is sinking...

BustedKnucks

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2004
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Long Island
It's been a while since I've posted here, almost a year, but I'm facing a girl that's got me stumped.

The Meeting:

She works with me, but I'm a manager in a different department, I first saw her when I was passing her desk a little before Halloween and approached by asking for one of the tootsie-rolls in a bowl on her desk. We flirted briefly and I left. The next Monday I went by her workspace deliberately and did some more flirting and asked her out to dinner. She agreed, and my buddy who digs her friend came along and the four of us made it a double date.

The Result:

I treated everyone to dinner at John Harvard's and got us all pretty buzzed. After dinner she and I returned to my place for a sloppy drunk hook-up, but she didn't sleep over. She was pretty open to physical contact, but nothing between the thighs.

We hung out a few more times, alternating who called who, going out to eat both just the two of us and as a group with other people from work, going to parties, etc. for the last couple of weeks, each night ending in a hook-up but no sex. She mentioned she had broken up with her ex two months ago, but made it clear that she'd had no contact with him since then and was actively avoiding it.

The Problem:

Today she came to my house in the afternoon for what was pretty much the first time we hung out during daylight hours. Off the bat I was in trouble because both my allergies were acting up badly, and she said she'd have to leave by 8 to go to dinner with her girlfriends (making it obvious I wasn't invited), so I ate a few Claritins before she got here, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. We decided to watch a movie, and she picked The Break Up out of my DVD collection. She'd already seen it and I thought it sucked, but I used a few of the scenes to insinuate some things to her, but to no avail. For the entire time we made very little physical contact, and no kissing at all. I began to see disaster approaching, but at 8 o'clock when I walked her out, we did do some serious kissing outside her car. Then she asked me to call her at 10:30 so she'd have an excuse to leave her dinner party early and come out with me for a while, still, after the relatively uneventful movie I'm not too keen on a worse ending to the night.

She's told me she plays cards, and usually on tuesdays I can get a late-night poker game going with some of my guy friends. If I do call her back later, most likely I'll invite her to that, what my real question is, does anyone think that this "courtship" can advance past innocent hook-ups into something more fun, or is her firm resistance to sexual encounters not just innocence, but the foundation for disaster?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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pvf94

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
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What do you got to lose? If she's open to touch, and making out with you....I think you could work your way to home plate. Just play your cards right (no pun indended =P) Unless ofcourse she specifically stated she does not want you inside her, if thats the case looks like you got a challenge on your hands. Good luck!
 

Boschy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
Messages
343
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7
Location
Melbourne, Australia
If you have kissed a few times and she still hangs around you, then she may be 'saving it' until she is sure you are not just after a one-night stand.

A bit of push-pull technique might help you escalate. Also I think you might be being too needy and clingy, therefore break contact with her for a week and let her wonder what you're doing. You don't seem to be a challenge at all to her at present.
 
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