"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She asked if I'm free but then didn't respond? WTF?

Fugitive

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A chick that I have a first date set up with this weekend messages me to ask "Are you free?". I respond 10 minutes later and say "Yes what's up?".

She hasn't responded to that. WTF?

Can anyone make sense of this?

What should my reaction be?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Maximus Rex

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Why do you care?
 

bigneil

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Is this the only girl who ever initiated?

She probably texted that same message to 3 guys and one she liked better responded before you.
 

marmel75

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Maybe wanted to see how available you were to her
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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devilkingx2

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i know a girl who complains i don't talk to her enough but ignores most of my texts if i ever do text her first.

bitches be crazy, that's all there is to it.
 

Vivacity

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Once, I have had a girl (who had a high interest in me) contact me by herself to schedule a meet up for one evening and cancel it on the morning of the day we were supposed to meet telling me that she had to attend a family wedding. My reply was "No problem. I hope you have fun there."

By doing so (i.e. scheduling and canceling), basically, she wanted me to get back to her after a few days to reschedule the meet up with her again. Being a man, you are the pursuer. That was the expectation she set. I had dated this particular girl later, but it did not work.
 

Trump

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A chick that I have a first date set up with this weekend messages me to ask "Are you free?". I respond 10 minutes later and say "Yes what's up?".

She hasn't responded to that. WTF?

Can anyone make sense of this?

What should my reaction be?
A girl you haven't had sex with, kissed, have not had a first date with and have no emotional or physical connection to, messages you if you are available, and in less than 15 minutes you reply 'absolutely, what do you need?'

Come on bro, she shows your text to her bf to increase her value with him and tells him: 'See, this guy is available at anytime for me and I haven't done ANYTHING with him. Look how valuable I am. You owe me a car'

Play the game, don't be played.
 

Yewki

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Your #1 problem is you care too much about this... she didn't respond, oh well. Focus your attention elsewhere.

But for the sake of entertainment let's speculate.

She probably wasn't sure about you to begin with and your response turned her off. Why? Because it was weak. You didn't take charge like a man. Your response was, "Yes what's up?" You're supposed to pursue her and schedule dates, not the other way around. Based on your lack of initiative she's probably wondering if you can satisfy her and if she's wasting her time.
 

Who Dares Win

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So a girl asks op if he is free, he answers and now its his fault? rly?

Honestly I believe the only wrong thing is the hamster in charge of her brain, wheter she wrote fishing for attention, to boost her ego or whatever there was nothing Op could have done any different unless he wants to go back to high school and play games.

Lets say a man goes inside a restaurant, he asks for a steak and before its ready he stands up and leave, would it be the owner mistake to cook him a steak? :eek:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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spikeanut

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^, your analogy isn't fully accurate. The response is the issue. OP, you are a man of high value; you are always wanted; you are always busy. That needs to be your frame at all times. A more simplistic response should have been "what's up". But in the end, women are women. No point in trying to figure out this one time occurrence. Brush it off, don't over analyze it, and just make note of it. If it happens again, then you know this chick views her value as being above yours; that is when you can cleanly terminate and move on to the next one.
 

Roni_88

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Next.. nothing wrong with your answer,, a million things could have happened to her.. a million more things should be more important to you.
 

EyeBRollin

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Next.. nothing wrong with your answer,, a million things could have happened to her.. a million more things should be more important to you.
I disagree. If someone texts you "are you free?" it is basically saying "are you sitting by your phone with nothing to do because my other options bailed on me."

The proper response is always to decline. A DJ is never at anyone's beck and call.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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devilkingx2

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"are you free?"
"this is america, we're all free"

"are you free?"
"no, i'm actually quite expensive"
 

Roni_88

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I disagree. If someone texts you "are you free?" it is basically saying "are you sitting by your phone with nothing to do because my other options bailed on me."

The proper response is always to decline. A DJ is never at anyone's beck and call.
What I meant was that there is no reason to overthink this.
 
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